· Sep 25, 2018 at 5:49 pm
Sure cats… Maggie and I will herd the crippled chipmunk back outside, and sure… I’ll wipe up the blood from the kitchen floor, and then sure… I’ll clean up your puke on the dining room rug.
Sure… you two go ahead and have a nice drink of water and a nice dinner while we minions get nothing but heartbreak and destruction.
· Sep 25, 2018 at 5:10 pm
Guys, there’s a free couch and matching love seat on the corner of 7th and Moore in Geneva.
It was there yesterday and I wager it’ll be there tomorrow. But probably not the day after because it’s garbage night here in Geneva on Wednesdays.
Tan isn’t my color so I’m sharing this delightful furniture combo with all of you. Sure, they’ve seen better days but with the desert-camo look you know it’s been a trooper.
I can picture Jean-Luc Picard commanding the Enterprise from such a sofa station while behind him, Number One and Geordi are side-by-side on the loveseat. La Forge, cleaning his air filter and Riker batting his longing eyes subtly in Geordi’s direction.
Let your imagine run wild, the set is yours for the taking. Make it so.
Update: Apparently I don’t know what day it is today so keep that in mind if you’re scheduling your garbage pickup or you’re furniture shopping according to my recommendations.
Update 2: Apparently I don’t know what city I’m in either as this corner is in St. Charlies.
In short, everything is terrible.
· Sep 25, 2018 at 4:13 pm
I so honestly wish I could pluck individual eyebrows with my bare hands. I just can’t get any traction. Or grip. I’m a man, not a machine. Damn you.
· Sep 24, 2018 at 5:53 pm
Guys, where do you go to eat for comfort food on an overcast Monday? 🍽
Some place with a menu similar to Denny’s or Colonial Cafe but with good food. Money is no object. Reservations are OK.
Willing to travel to St. Charlie, Geneva, Batavia, and even Elburn.
If they’re playing Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’ when Sara and I arrive, even better.
Update: I should mention that I haven’t ate meat for close to 15 years. Sara does though so it’s not taboo or anything. However, catering to both palettes would be ideal.
· Sep 24, 2018 at 4:42 pm
I would get one myself but I’ve just settled in for my late afternoon nap. I don’t need a full glass, a full cup will do. I know you’ve been there: partially parched and close to near death as your bones wither down to the marrow.
Plastic cups with the Millennium Falcon are preferred. Thor artwork will do. Toy Story cartoons are forbidden.
Please ring the doorbell and I’ll shortly answer via one-way video yet two-way audio teleconference. Don’t be alarmed, the future is now.
If clearance is granted I would give you a four digit pin with which you may unlock the castle door. Don’t get any bright or shifty shady ideas though, they’re one time use only. Nice try.