One time when I was drinking I put a lawn chair in the middle of the yard that runs along the side of my house. My thought was that it’d be the perfect spot to keep tabs on the neighbors from a slightly covert location.

A couple days later when I was sober I remembered the lawn chair and returned it to the back deck. I felt somewhat embarrassed afterward as it was a somewhat embarrassing place to have lawn furniture.

If you ever see a guy sitting in a lawnchair in his side yard, it would be safe to assume he’s drunk.

#homeimprovement

Today was the day to re-glue the kitchen table.

💪 #photos #homeimprovement

AmazonBasics Microwave | Alexa Enabled - Amazon.com

A compact countertop microwave that connects to your Echo device to make cooking easier.

• Now it’s easier to defrost peas, make popcorn, cook potatoes, and reheat rice. Quick-cook voice presets and a simplified keypad let you just ask Alexa to start microwaving.
• Auto Popcorn Replenishment can automatically reorder popcorn when you run low, enabled by Amazon Dash Replenishment technology.
• Compact size saves counter space, plus 10 power levels, a kitchen timer, a child lock, and a turntable.
• Alexa is always getting smarter and adding new presets, features, and skills.

Peeps, the future is now.

#amazon #alexa #homeimprovement

I guess it’s last call… ✂️🌿

#photos #homeimprovement

Scored this little dude from Science Surplus 🛸

Because I’m all done with the toothpaste caps jumping down the manhole.

#photos #sciencesurplus #homeimprovement

A chipmunk just cost me $258 for a chewed-threw wire replacement. At first I thought it was something I’d messed up when installing the ecobee thermostat but no, it was a dumb rodent.

Repair guy said they detect the heat in the wire and think it’s a food source of some kind. I guess with brains smaller than a walnut, they have to be pretty stupid.

#photos #chipmunks #homeimprovement

Finally took my thermostat from the 1980s to the 2018s 💪

#photos #homeimprovement

This is why I should always take a step back and look at the big picture when I’m cutting someones’s hair. It’s also what happens when I just want to get something done.

Sorry kid, this is a lost cause. You’ll just have to wait until your hair grows back.

#homeimprovement #protip

Throwback Thursday to five years ago this May when I painted an anarchy sign in my garage.

Because I still protest. In general.

#photos #homeimprovement

When Sara and I were up in Galena I found and bought a trombone at an antique store. Same store I got the looney bin room numbers.

And then I hung up the trombone in the blue room with a curtain holdback hook. Because of course that’s what you do. I was gonna put it above the window but Sara said maybe beside. Of course her idea was better.

I blew it a little when I got home and I sounded just about as good as I did when I was ten and played one in school.

📸 View gallery →

🎼 #photos #photogallery #trombone #homeimprovement