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A dreamy doomsday broadcast

tcr! · Sep 20, 2018 at 11:41 am

There’s been an infuse of stink bugs (BMSB). I see them at home. I see them in my truck. I see them at work. The dudes are everywhere. My cats won’t even eat them.

Stink bug crawling

Seriously, this past summer I’ve become convinced they’re trying to take over the world.

I’ve never had one actually let loose with the stink though. They seem to be docile little critters, just meandering about town in their brown armor. However, the US Department of Agriculture wants them out of the country for being an agriculture pest. I guess that’s what happens when you’re an invasive species.

Anyways… so last night I had this dream where I’m watching TV. Don’t ask me what or which station because it’s irrelevant.

Then out of nowhere my program was interrupted with a special broadcast. A dreamy doomsday broadcast. Panic in the streets, cars turned over, red tickers scrolling berserk at the bottom of the screen as pedestrians ran for their very lives.

Beloved readers, the first responders quickly determined the blame (lied, lie, laid) with the darn stink bugs! They’d collapsed a large portion of an apartment building in West Chicago after their hive nest ruptured the very foundation.

The helicopter news footage of said apartments showed a scary scene similar to the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building aftermath in 1995. Luckily no West Chicago residents were injured.

But get this: the real mastermind behind both the American Stink Bug Invasion (ASBI) and the consequential residential cave-in was the dude with the mannequins at the Wheaton All Night Flea Market! Zurko was breeding the bugs in the basement like Jame Gumb was with his moths in Silence of the Lambs. Do you see the parallels? I thought so.

Please note: I have nothing against Zurko or his mannequins. THIS WAS JUST A DREAM.

So then the news reporters were trying to get an interview with Zurko. Figure out what his motives were, etc., etc. But he refused to talk since he was dressed up in his mannequin gear. He couldn’t break character!

And then the dream ended.

How are you?

#dreams #stinkbugs #mannequins

10 comments

hodges · Sep 20, 2018 at 1:13 pm

Funny. They don’t stink unless you squish them or mow your lawn 😣

tcr! tcr! · Sep 20, 2018 at 2:19 pm

They should call them “will stink ya bugs”

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forni · Sep 20, 2018 at 1:13 pm

I will say, I will take a stink bug invasion over this damn mosquito take over we have been experiencing. I love how descriptive your dream was 🤣

tcr! tcr! · Sep 20, 2018 at 2:21 pm

Thanks! I try not to go outdoors much so I haven’t noticed the mosquitoes. However, I did notice that mosquitoes sounds and awful lot like mojitos.

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becklyn · Sep 20, 2018 at 1:13 pm

Conventions are regularly held at my house. It’s a game here…. prizes to those who suck the most.

stink bugs in the vacuum

tcr! tcr! · Sep 20, 2018 at 2:20 pm

At first I thought you’d prepared a rocket to take them into outerspace! 🚀

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undrtow · Sep 20, 2018 at 1:13 pm

1. They stunk if you squish them
2. There will be a stink bug vs mosquito war before 2020

tcr! tcr! · Sep 20, 2018 at 6:41 pm

My bets are on the stink bugs winning the war.

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Ross Bottino · Sep 21, 2018 at 9:32 pm

My daughter and I name them. We have conversations with them. Track their whereabouts in the room. Wonder about their activities throughout the day. They become like family. We introduce them the visitors. Oh, that’s Fred and Barney… JoeBob is over there. It’s really quite entertaining. I mean it’s not like they have any intention of leaving. I can pick them up and put them outside but I’m pretty sure they just come right back in. I actually considered marking them at one point to prove it’s the just agreed again, but I was afraid nail polish would kill them. And that’s how we manage our stick bug situation over here.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 3:03 pm

OMG that’s hilarious. However, based on the sheer volume of Freds wandering around, I say go for it and him with polish. If he dies, Fred2 will be along shortly.

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Mannequin kiss

tcr! · May 11, 2018 at 4:54 pm

Mannequin kiss

#photos #mannequins #galena2018

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The Wax Amish Army

tcr! · Apr 3, 2018 at 8:15 am

For sale: 40 life-size Amish figures from Lancaster County Wax Museum

For sale: 40 life-size Amish figures from Lancaster County Wax Museum

The Amish are a kind, peaceful people.

That being said, let dread’s cold hand grip your spine as you gaze into the soulless eyes of 40 life-size Amish wax models for sale in a Lancaster County Craigslist ad.

Dana DiCicco, who’s selling them, said they didn’t seem “creepy at all” when she was a kid in Pennsylvania Dutch country.

keamoose sent this to me not long ago. It’s too good not to post publicly.

I especially like these three guys:

Jacob, quit being a drama queen about yer hand

Jacob, quit being a drama queen about yer hand.

#mannequins

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Mildy Seeking Mannequins

tcr! · Oct 31, 2017 at 8:50 am

Audio (MP3): 20171031 - Mildy Seeking Mannequins

20171031 Mildy Seeking Mannequins

I still need to get a couple mannequins. I think about this often, at least daily. Well, maybe every other day. They’ll provide some kind of ambience, some kind of atmosphere that I need. In my house. Preferably the dining room.

No, there’s nothing sexual or weird going on behind the scenes here. I’m not gonna drill any holes in them or have different outfits based on different seasons. I may, however, throw a scarf around one if it’s chilly outside. Something to keep them looking current and fresh.

Think of them more as art pieces, as sculptures, and less as companions. I’m not J.F. Sebastian over here. They won’t have backstories or names or be scantily dressed.

Having a set has been on my mind ever since I was a kid and had my first run in with a JCPenney mannequin while shopping with my mom. Well, my mom was shopping and I was wandering around aimlessly. Because there’s nothing to do in the women’s section when you’re a 10 year old boy other than to try and get lost in rack after rack of clothes you despise touching and will most certainly never wear.

Daydream of a Roger Moore style spy chase through the ladies tops. Avoid whatever KGB agent that had tracked my location to this particular department store on this particular day.

And then I bumped into a mannequin. Fairly hard but not on purpose for sure. I was looking one way and going another. This was all well before I stopped seeing the world just from my eyes and only ever paid attention to what was right in front of me.

And then the female mannequin all but fell over. Luckily, I was the hero with my 007 reflexes and saved that day, saved the towering figure from the public shame of lying face down on dense carpet made for heavy traffic.

Somehow I twisted its arm around backwards and upside down or something. But with my superior mechanical and fashionable skills, I was able to repose the mannequin into a style, into a position that was fitting for the outfit. Obviously those store designers had little sense for fashion in the first place. Well, I guess I shouldn’t judge too harshly. We were only two miles from rural Iowa and all the farmland they had to offer.

Anyways, I don’t think my life will be complete until I have at least two mannequins. I need a pair minimum. One male and one female. So they can keep each other company. And having just one mannequin would be weird. And having a whole fleet would be bizarre.[1] And not in a good way.

And I can’t buy them online. Having mannequins shipped to your house would definitely be cause for alarm. I need them from like a Sears that’s going out of business or so. But they can’t be scoffed or marred. Seeing the white, chipped plaster (or whatever it is) underneath is just tacky.

#mannequins #homeimprovement #diariespodcast


  1. Okay, so this whole post is mildly bizarre considering it’s a little before 9 am. But I wrote most of it while driving home from work yesterday and only polished it this morning.

4 comments

keamoose keamoose · Oct 31, 2017 at 10:20 am

Ironically, Sears Canada is going out of business, but you’d probably have to have them shipped to your house.

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tcr! tcr! · Oct 31, 2017 at 10:42 am

Can you pilfer a few from out back behind your local center?

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keamoose keamoose · Oct 31, 2017 at 10:54 am

I would, but up here in the wilderness we only had a Sears appliance store and it closed a couple of years ago.

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tcr! tcr! · Oct 31, 2017 at 11:50 am

Ah.. Our Sears appliance closed sometime over the summer. I was kinda sad because that’s where I got my washer and dryer.

Richard Warren, what has become of your empire? 😢

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Zurko’s mannequins at Wheaton’s All Night Flea Market

tcr! · Aug 19, 2017 at 9:56 pm

Zurkos mannequins Anna the half mannequin Anna the half mannequin note

Can’t go wrong with mannequins.

World Famous Wheaton Illinois All Night Flea Market

August 19, 2017 - 3pm to 3am
DuPage County Fairgrounds
2015 Manchester Rd, Wheaton, IL 60187

#photos #mannequins #allnightfleamarket

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Jul 27th, 2017 at 12:14:03 pm

tcr! · Jul 27, 2017 at 12:14 pm

How creepy would it be to have 2-3 mannequins just hanging out in my dining room?

#homeimprovement #mannequins

1 comment

tcr! tcr! · Jul 27, 2017 at 1:17 pm

Ok, so my search on Amazon is returning borderline absurd for your basic department store mannequin.

Set of 2, 4 nipples total:
https://smile.amazon.com/Only-Mannequins-Female-Hanging-White/dp/B00HHEND2Y/

Egghead with enlarged groin:
https://smile.amazon.com/Durable-Plastic-Abstract-Mannequin-Movable/dp/B00JLYEYIK/

Headless tree yogi:
https://smile.amazon.com/Newtech-Display-MAF-A1-YOGA1-BL-Mannequin/dp/B010S5YF7U/

Disgruntle who may or may not be taking a dump in their robot diaper:
https://smile.amazon.com/Prestan-Infant-CPR-AED-Manikin-Monitor/dp/B00AXOWLPU/

So my question now is where does one find a mannequin like they used to have at K-mart when I was a kid?

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Dunkin Donuts mannequin

tcr! · May 27, 2017 at 8:45 pm

Dunkin Donuts mannequin

Not sure what to make of this mannequin at the Dunkin Donuts in St Charles.

Is he a mascot? A dance partner? Just a regular dude who lost his arm?

#photos #mannequins #dunkindonuts

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