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tcr!
· Sep 7, 2018 at 8:06 am
Yesterday evening at 6:14 PM …
Pearl the cat: Meooooow. Yooooowwwl.
Me: I see your arch-nemisis is outside. Don’t worry, he’ll leave before long.
- - -
This morning at 3:36 AM …
Pearl: Meooooow. Yooooowwwl.
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Me hurls a spare pillow into the darkness.
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:38 pm
Guys, don’t go south on Randall Road anywhere near Route 64 in St. Charles. It’s been raining, there’s bumper-to-bumper traffic, and your life will be put on hold.
There’s also a weird cat sitting on the east sidewalk looking at me. I think he might be from Singapore. Or Elburn.
Worst still, the 7-Eleven hung up a handmade “NO LOITERING” sign. It’s in bubble letters, too. I hate bubble lettering. 😢
—
Update: okay, they’re not bubble letters. But they are square block letters. And they’re in CAPS which means they’re shouting. I’ve never even loitered at that 7-Eleven.
Because have you seen their sister store on State Street in Geneva? They got multiple tables and multiple chairs and actively encourage loitering. See, this is how you win in convenience store business. You don’t drive people away with your shouting and block lettering and other nonsense.
Also, at first I misread the sign to say, “NO LOTTERY” and then I thought, “oh, the sh!t’s gonna h!t the fan now.” People can get angry and pushy in the 7-Eleven when it comes to their lotto tickets.
undrtow
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:45 pm
I heard there’s a coyote party there but not until later tonight.
fleming
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:46 pm
Or Elburn???? Oh my God…I’m still laughing!!!!🤣🤣🤣
sveagrabarek
· Sep 5, 2018 at 6:36 pm
Probably elburn. The cats there are very shady.
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:25 pm
So the rumors are true.
liz.sadigh
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:27 pm
I can confirm.
tamaraholby
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:47 pm
Is the kitty ok?
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:29 pm
It was a white cat with black patches and the patches look like dents in his hide from a rough, battle scarred life. I assume he ate all the Bigfoots in his 20s, after he got out of the cat Marines or whatever they have.
I guess him to be in his 60s now but I still wouldn’t tangle with him. There was an open can of Hormel Chili beside him and since I didn’t see a can opener around, he must’ve opened it with his teeth. Maybe his claws, too, for leverage. 🤔
tamaraholby
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:47 pm
I was born and raised in the birthplace of Hormel. That chili and a can of spam will last forever. Oh and a twinkie
hodges
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:48 pm
The 7/11 on Randall and 64? Who loiterers at a intersection with no foot traffic? You are right. Stay. Away.
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:10 pm
Oh. I’m sorry. In my haste I forgot to mention the 7-Eleven with the sign is on 64 and 17th, a few blocks east. But the one on 64 and Randall probably has a similar policy. Loiter at your own risk!
hodges
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:12 pm
lol!
hodges
· Sep 5, 2018 at 4:51 pm
Party tonight at 8. Picnic tables. 7-11. Geneva!
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:33 pm
Maybe we can get them to make a real sign!
McGivney
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:03 pm
Gotta love traffic 😖
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:37 pm
Traffic makes me sadder and also angrier than anything else. Well, I can get pretty angry at the Target/Starbucks people who don’t know how to grind beans for a French Press. I get home and open the bag expecting to see coarsely ground beans and instead see a floury brown powder.
THIS IS NOT A GAME.
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:37 pm
So what’s really funny is that I was banned a while back from the “What’s Happening in Geneva” Facebook group for posting similar anecdotes. I was also banned from WH in St. Charles, WH in Batavia, etc. etc.
I’m glad I have a blog because you all deserve to know the real stories.
hodges
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:39 pm
My badge of honor. Banned from Trump Facebook. Oh well. Left what’s happening in st Charles on the basis of meanness and belittling.
hodges
· Sep 5, 2018 at 5:56 pm
And. You are funny.
tamaraholby
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm
You know it’s better to talked about then never noticed
Mona
· Sep 5, 2018 at 6:43 pm
You were banned because your magazine was perceived by Kevin Ketchum to be competition for his local magazines. That’s my guess anyway.
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:27 pm
Yeah, I wanted to leave my magazine out of the story and keep the focus on my personal wit and charm.
hbp
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:02 pm
This is fantastic… I’m still giggling
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 8:44 pm
Thank you!
The Golberg
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm
Best. Post. And Stream. Of. The. Day! 😂😂😂
tcr!
· Sep 5, 2018 at 8:45 pm
Thank you so much!
Damien F
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:41 pm
They also don’t like to pay out on scratch offs over 20$
DW Caputo
· Sep 5, 2018 at 7:42 pm
That store sucks. Refused to give me lottery tickets because my daughter was with me. Really. WTF. SHE WASNT 21.
tcr!
· Aug 23, 2018 at 9:27 pm
Me: Cat, when I come out the restroom and you’re sitting right there, it’s not cool. I don’t hang around outside your litterbox when you’re littering.
Cat: 🙄
fiatlux423
· Aug 23, 2018 at 9:43 pm
Vess does this!!
tcr!
· Aug 23, 2018 at 10:00 pm
I think it’s in their DNA.
jimi hindrance experience
· Aug 23, 2018 at 10:26 pm
Our cats are both girls, Phoebe and Stella. When E goes to the bathroom, it’s like a parade. It’s girls night in there. What do they talk about in there?
tcr!
· Aug 24, 2018 at 8:12 am
They’re prob planning next week’s parade.
tcr!
· Jul 29, 2018 at 9:49 am
Momma J
· Jul 29, 2018 at 10:23 am
She’s posing for you!
tcr!
· Jul 29, 2018 at 10:38 am
She most certainly is!
Jocelyn Zoey
· Jul 29, 2018 at 10:58 am
This made me think of the titanic hahahaha
tcr!
· Jul 29, 2018 at 11:58 am
And that just shows your true genius 😎
fiatlux423
· Jul 29, 2018 at 1:20 pm
#goals
tcr!
· Jul 4, 2018 at 11:57 am
The admirable thing about cats (or any pets for that matter) is that they have no interest in anything other than now.
Also, she’s eating. But that’s not my point.
My point is that animals pay attention to what’s in front of them. Right now.
Not what happened to them last week or what’s going to happen tomorrow.
tcr!
· Jul 4, 2018 at 12:12 pm
tcr!
· Jun 30, 2018 at 11:00 pm
Pearl was drunk under the couch when Maggie and I got home tonight.
No judgement, I been there.
tcr!
· Jun 11, 2018 at 8:08 am
On this morning, the 11th of June I was greeted with a squeaky chipmunk in the basement just as I sat down with my first cup of coffee. It filled my heart with joy as the two H-Ks (hunter killers) and a lone chipmunk played a frantic game of animal tag.
A frenzied game of hide and seek if you will. Where if you loose needly claws hooked to hair trigger tendons pulled by honed muscles will rip into your hide and not too often let go. You’ll be lucky and kiss your mother if you narrowly escape with only a minor puncture wound.
Ah yes, the screams of blood filled, animal murder first thing in the morning.
And then as I’m putting the basement things back in order after I’ve caught and released the chipmunk, I hear Pearl in her litter box taking a shit. All the excitement and exercise must’ve got her bowels working.
💩 #cats #chipmunks
tcr!
· Jun 8, 2018 at 3:32 pm
Don’t worry cats. I don’t have enough to do so I’ll go ahead and clean up your fucking puke.
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Such a sweet kitty!
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