Well, we got here is a phone call I had with my good friend Jimi, recorded earlier in the month. I mention or quote him from time to time on my blog and in my podcast. And he’s been a good friend for a close to three decades.
I met Jimi in the early 90s in Iowa when I first got sober. Stayed friends with him in the 2000s while I relapsed in Oregon. And then of course he was there after I sobered up again in Illinois in the early 2010s.
Jimi’s a saint and a scholar. He’s the big brother I never had. He’s made me think and laugh and let me in on the life secret, “everything is going to be okay.” Because… “the best is yet to come.”
So my thought going into the phone call was that it would be a test run recording, check audio levels, and see how well we both did under the mic.
Not long ago I was in the 7-Eleven in Geneva. There was maybe three other people waiting to pay. One of the guys was five-ish years younger than me and barely-stand-up drunk. He was having a party of one, talking to himself, and talking to the other people even if they were doing their best to: not encourage him. To ignore him. And wait out his staggering around non-sense. Like when you tough out a deep cleaning at the dentist.
7-Eleven had their ambient classic rock playing over the ceiling speakers and the drunk dude turned around and asked the guy in front of me, “Who sings this song? Damn, this is good. I can’t remember what they’re called.” The second guy is like, “I don’t know who sings it” in all out pretty much disgust with drunk dude.
I was softly clanging around on the MIDI keyboard the other night and came up with a couple of melodies. I couldn’t really find any words to go with them so I decided to look up what was in the public domain.
I’m going to take an irregular but brief aside. I think I’ve done this one or maybe two whole other times since starting the podcast back in August of 2016.
A little background on me. I stopped drinking and using drugs in 1992 when I was 19. I started both too early. I started drinking again in 2002 and then stopped again in 2012. The last five years of alcoholic drinking were the worst years of my life.
One podcast I listen to always and without fail is Roderick on the Line with John Roderick and Merlin Mann.
They talk shop on a variety of different topics, politics, history, technology, personal stuff. Whatever comes up while they’re on the line.
On a recent episode there was a minor recount of when Rodrick gave his “baby mama” a recipe from an Australian woman that he had been talking to on Twitter.
￼For whatever reason that struck a nerve with me. Probably because I’ve had bad experiences with people I was close to chatting with other people online. And historically I’m horrible at relationships. And the door swings both ways. And I’m nobody’s hero or role model.￼
6:37 am: Just because you stop talking about things doesn’t mean everything’s okay.
An x-boss of mine and I would argue and argue about things. And we’d argue about the same kinds of things over and over again. Architecture, database modeling, how to reply to emails. Crap that was important for sure and some crap that wasn’t.
For the longest time I would back down because he was my boss and I worked for him, even if I felt that he was in the wrong. He wasn’t the healthiest tool in the shed. Not saying that I am either but I do try in earnest to balance on the spiritual beam.
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