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Having a party of one

tcr! · Aug 18, 2020 at 12:20 pm

Audio (MP3): 20200818 - Having a party of one

Video (MP4): 20200818 - Having a party of one

20200818 Having a party of one

Not long ago I was in the 7-Eleven in Geneva. There was maybe three other people waiting to pay. One of the guys was five-ish years younger than me and barely-stand-up drunk. He was having a party of one, talking to himself, and talking to the other people even if they were doing their best to: not encourage him. To ignore him. And wait out his staggering around non-sense. Like when you tough out a deep cleaning at the dentist.

7-Eleven had their ambient classic rock playing over the ceiling speakers and the drunk dude turned around and asked the guy in front of me, “Who sings this song? Damn, this is good. I can’t remember what they’re called.” The second guy is like, “I don’t know who sings it” in all out pretty much disgust with drunk dude.

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Virtual Bunker Tour

tcr! · May 17, 2020 at 2:30 pm

Video (MP4): 20200517 - Virtual Bunker Tour

Please enjoy a view from the futon in the office bunker.

#diariesvideo #basement

4 comments

jenkins_arts · May 17, 2020 at 2:41 pm

Excellent!

tcr! tcr! · May 17, 2020 at 5:22 pm

Yes and no 😊

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 17, 2020 at 8:08 pm

The Hunker Bunker

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Uncle Timmy · May 17, 2020 at 10:06 pm

The Cave!!! 🎯

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Of course I can run an elevator

tcr! · May 13, 2020 at 1:00 pm

Audio (MP3): 20201305 - Of course I can run an elevator

Video (MP4): 20201305 - Of course I can run an elevator

I was softly clanging around on the MIDI keyboard the other night and came up with a couple of melodies. I couldn’t really find any words to go with them so I decided to look up what was in the public domain.

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18 comments

Mitchell · May 13, 2020 at 8:47 pm

interesting and abstract I like it

tcr! tcr! · May 13, 2020 at 9:22 pm

Thanks man! I like musical abstraction 😊

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 14, 2020 at 12:16 am

When they say “you can’t get out here’…

tcr! tcr! · May 14, 2020 at 9:18 am

The guy that wrote/performed the show was Arch Oboler. Laying in bed, smoking cigs, and writing Lights Out radio in his head. I can relate 😊

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 14, 2020 at 12:16 am

What were you drinking?

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 14, 2020 at 12:16 am

Brown liguid in clear cup.

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 14, 2020 at 4:25 pm

No, serious, it didn’t look like coffee and I wondered if you drank cherry cokes or something.

tcr! tcr! · May 14, 2020 at 4:37 pm

Oh… I thought you were talking about something in the audio. It’s just iced tea with sugar and spoon.

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · May 14, 2020 at 4:38 pm

coolio

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threecrates threecrates · May 14, 2020 at 12:11 pm

Incredible! I love stuff like this. Perhaps we shall record something together someday.✌🏻❀️

tcr! tcr! · May 14, 2020 at 12:28 pm

Send me some audio files (mp3s, wavs) and I’ll mix something up. It’ll be a covid quarantine collaboration! 🎼

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Dusk Clan · May 14, 2020 at 4:13 pm

Nice!

tcr! tcr! · May 14, 2020 at 4:34 pm

Thanks!

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Kurtz · May 15, 2020 at 6:48 pm

What?
15 hours ago

tcr! tcr! · May 15, 2020 at 9:51 pm

Exactly

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Sophia · May 16, 2020 at 3:09 pm

What is this

tcr! tcr! · May 16, 2020 at 6:52 pm

I would say it’s solid gold but I don’t think that’d be fair 😊

Sophia · May 16, 2020 at 7:07 pm

I’m not hating I’m just confused good job tho

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Space drift sunshine

tcr! · Jan 23, 2020 at 10:45 pm

Audio (MP3): 20200123 - Space drift sunshine

Video (MP4): 20200123 - Space drift sunshine

20190307 Confront your feelings

I don’t know why but it’s important that I make things like this.

πŸ‘½ #diariespodcast #diariesvideo

3 comments

tism tism · Jan 24, 2020 at 8:11 am

Disco party in the basement? Matrix remake? Alien incursion?

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JJ · Jan 24, 2020 at 9:43 am

Beautiful. πŸ¦•πŸͺπŸ’‘

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marney0160 marney0160 · Jan 28, 2020 at 11:05 pm

I think you have a ghost in your house!

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A fist full of padlocks

tcr! · Jun 4, 2019 at 10:10 am

Audio (MP3): 20190604 - A fist full of padlocks

Video (MP4): 20190604 - A fist full of padlocks

I knew this guy once. Well, I still kinda sorta know him now but we’re not really friends. I’ll call him Tim even though his name wasn’t Tim.

Why am I thinking about Tim on this 4th of June? Because these awful hostilities would come out of his mouth. And sometimes they were directed at me and sometimes they weren’t. Sometimes I could tell their direction and sometimes I couldn’t.

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The direct communication formula

tcr! · Apr 26, 2019 at 9:00 am

Audio (MP3): 20190426 - The direct communication formula

Video (MP4): 20190426 - The direct communication formula

Driving to work this morning I was letting my minder wander, just absentmindedly thinking about random stuff. As I do. And today I was thinking that I used to drop a lot of hints. Boxes of styrofoam peanuts without anything tangible inside.

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7 comments

Mitchell · Apr 26, 2019 at 11:00 pm

I’m laughing cuz it’s an old photo

tcr! tcr! · Apr 27, 2019 at 8:45 am

All good 😊

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Dano · Apr 29, 2019 at 8:40 pm

Couldn’t agree more. πŸ™πŸ»

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Momma J Momma J · Sep 2, 2020 at 2:04 pm

Great 1st job! I loved your Ad lib facial expressions

tcr! tcr! · Sep 2, 2020 at 5:59 pm

Thanks! Spontaneity at its best!

Momma J Momma J · Sep 2, 2020 at 5:59 pm

Chicken Bro Thumbs Up

tcr! tcr! · Sep 2, 2020 at 6:43 pm

πŸ”πŸ‘

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Radio Shack 10 Digit Dual Powered EC-2020

tcr! · Apr 24, 2019 at 5:54 pm

Audio (MP3): 20190424 - Radio Shack 10 Digit Dual Powered EC-2020

Video (MP4): 20190424 - Radio Shack 10 Digit Dual Powered EC-2020

Believe it or not at one point I thought I wanted to be an accountant. Because I like it when the numbers add up. Equal parts payable, equal parts receivable. Equal parts ebb, equal parts flow.

At the end of the night all will be balanced.

I could never be an accountant though. Numbers aren’t colorful enough to me.

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8 comments

tcr! tcr! · Apr 24, 2019 at 8:48 pm

Also, be really good at asking for help. And be even better at accepting help even when you don’t ask for it.

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jenkins_arts · Apr 25, 2019 at 7:27 am

I learned to use “long derision”, “substraction”, “multifraction”, “verisimilitude” as important functions related to getting things to add up.

tcr! tcr! · Apr 26, 2019 at 2:34 pm

I love a good verisimilitude.

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tcr! tcr! · Sep 3, 2020 at 7:36 pm

I just realized I used the music already in another video. What the living F? πŸ™„

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marney0160 marney0160 · Sep 6, 2020 at 9:31 am

I love it! 😘😘

tcr! tcr! · Sep 6, 2020 at 4:08 pm

Thank you!!

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threecrates threecrates · Sep 8, 2020 at 9:39 am

Great edit! Love it. πŸ˜πŸ€™πŸ»

tcr! tcr! · Sep 8, 2020 at 9:50 am

Thanks! It took a bit to figure out how to work the multi camera stuff, but I like splicing nonsense together. Gives me something to do during the quarantine 🦠

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Confront your feelings

tcr! · Mar 7, 2019 at 7:00 pm

Audio (MP3): 20190307 - Confront your feelings

Video (MP4): 20190307 - Confront your feelings

20190307 Confront your feelings

I’ve been writing and recording music for close to 30 years. This is the latest track. You should listen to it with headphones.

The words below are various thoughts I’ve had and one-liners I’ve collected over the last year. They seem to go hand in hand with the audio. We can’t be a fruity butterfly all the time.


Intolerant. Not verbally just mentally.

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A bunch of bills and checks to write

tcr! · Feb 3, 2019 at 9:15 am

Audio (MP3): 20190203 - A bunch of bills and checks to write

Video (MP4): 20190203 - A bunch of bills and checks to write

When I was newly sober, having a list of amends to make was like having a big pile of bills to pay. And I hate that feeling: a stack of checks to write and a list of people and places I owe. It’s just always on my mind, lingering in the back row like somebody murmuring behind you at the movies. When I stopped drinking my conscious woke up and I start hearing the voices of remorse.

And then there was that one time when I was in high school that I stole a whole bunch of books from the public library. It was way back when shoplifting was easy. Go in with a nearly empty backpack, load it up with Hobbit adventures, and walk out. Just be careful and it was really that easy. I didn’t feel any guilt at the time because for whatever reason in my head, the world owed me.

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18 comments

threecrates threecrates · Sep 9, 2020 at 10:35 pm

Never have I felt that it sounds as if you were giving a speech. I’ve always been captivated by your words, whether it be written or spoken. I’m also totally digging the new format/video edits in addition to the DIY audio tracks. And as always it’s wonderfully relatable in regards to recovery. 🎢❀️

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2020 at 8:07 am

Thanks man! What you said means a lot and I appreciate it! In another life all I did was record music in my free time and I love splicing audio into spoken word pieces. Then I don’t have to follow the verse, chorus, solo formula. We should definitely record some conversations and/or musics at some point!

threecrates threecrates · Sep 11, 2020 at 10:54 am

I would like that very much!

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sveagrabarek · Sep 10, 2020 at 12:43 pm

September, the 9th month!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2020 at 8:09 am

It was no accident, the cosmos knows what it’s doing πŸ˜‰

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2020 at 8:09 am

Okay, I don’t know what that means exactly.

sveagrabarek · Sep 11, 2020 at 4:14 pm

Bills and checks and amends. 9th step, 9th month

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DP · Sep 10, 2020 at 7:27 pm

“There’s no pillow as soft as a clear conscious.” Brilliant

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2020 at 8:54 pm

I wish that was my quote, but it’s still really good none the less 😊

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Momma J Momma J · Sep 10, 2020 at 7:35 pm

I like the Spontaneity. The ah’s don’t bother me. Useful/ Helpful content. I’d much rather see you then listen to the Podcast.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2020 at 8:58 pm

I think the ah’s only bother me when I listen to what I’ve recorded πŸ˜„

Momma J Momma J · Sep 10, 2020 at 10:54 pm

You are too hard on yourself!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2020 at 8:17 am

I just have high goals for myself but I’m okay with not people perfect 😊

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battersons · Sep 10, 2020 at 8:44 pm

Beautifully written!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2020 at 8:58 pm

Thank you!!

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Sep 12, 2020 at 8:44 am

I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day I’d rather one would walk with me than merely tell the way …is what someone said in a meeting to me. I later found that they were quoting Bruce Carroll. I don’t know anything about Mr. Carroll other than that’s what google said about the lines.

Momma J Momma J · Sep 12, 2020 at 1:39 pm

Perfectly said!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 13, 2020 at 8:13 am

That’s a good thing to carry in one’s pocket

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Coming up short after 12

tcr! · Jan 24, 2018 at 8:00 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180124 - Coming up short after 12

Video (MP4): 20180124 - Coming up short after 12

Well into my way of twelve step recovery I confused the word “practice” with “perfected” somehow.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and had perfected practiced these principles in all our affairs.
Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous

I thought that because I’d worked all the other steps and had arrived at number 12 that I should be over some hump. Passed the bump. Made the jump. Maybe even overflowing with love while walking with spiritual principles or whatever.

Like I had crossed some finish line because I had had a spiritual awakening.

It wasn’t something that I consciously thought. I knew the step used the phrase “practiced these principles”, similar to applying them but for whatever reason I was holding myself to a “perfected” standard. Below the surface. Like not holding myself wide awake in front of my eyes, but more like how that creepy horror show music playing softly in the background holds you.

Of course then would feel like I was coming up short and imperfect. And not know why.

But… Just because I’ve had that spiritual awakening that doesn’t mean I’ve perfected anything. I have to continue to practice the principles much the way Maggie needs to practice her cello.

Granted with working the others steps and making it to twelve I have been elevated to a new plane of existence but I’m not cured or healed. By any stretch.

Okay that “elevated” part sounds a bit arrogant. But I have changed.

It’s funny how our minds can know something but then deeper down in the canyon we believe or feel something else.

If something’s bothering me, I should investigate. Even if it seems minor.

If anything is making me feel bad about me, something’s off. No matter how slight or subdued or subliminal it may feel.

I need to have a look under the covers to see what’s going on, see what’s what. And in this case then discard that ridiculous notion of perfection. Just because I got to a certain point in life that doesn’t mean I’m going to stay at that point. I need to continue to do those things that got me there.

#advancedsoul #twelvesteps #diariespodcast #diariesvideo

2 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 26, 2018 at 9:42 am

“You’d be arrogant too if you were me.”—-jimithesaint said that. i was here and heard him say it. If I ever learned anything that I still remember it’s to take everything with a grain-o-salt, “Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” “This Too, Shall Pass.” You’re not as good or bad as your best/worst self says you are. You’re a whole lot more human than human.

T, I love you more than sitting next to T——, the girl with the best boobs in the office.

tcr! tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 7:45 am

“Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” — I love that one.

And thanks! You’re one of my best friends since my first self-imposed divorce.

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πŸŽ™ Listen now β†’