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Hail Satan pillow case

tcr! · Jan 20, 2018 at 10:57 am

Hail Satan pillow case

I normally don’t take pictures of my bed but … Hail Satan. If you’re new here, it’s funny.

#photos #hailsatan #homeimprovement

7 comments

keamoose keamoose · Jan 20, 2018 at 11:16 am

Really should be a satin pillowcase though…

tcr! tcr! · Jan 20, 2018 at 1:52 pm

Satin pillowcases are pretty slippery though. One time I fell asleep on one and woke up in Scandinavia. Sara also said they’re good for your hair.

keamoose keamoose · Jan 20, 2018 at 2:17 pm

My grandmother always used a satin pillowcase to protect her hair after she had it set in curls. If satin gets you Scandinavia though, I shudder to think where one might wake up after falling asleep on a Satan pillowcase. Maybe also Scandinavia, it is pretty metal.

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tism tism · Jan 20, 2018 at 11:59 am

and black Satan sheets.

tcr! tcr! · Jan 20, 2018 at 1:54 pm

I would like black sheets but with the cats it would be all to apparent how much of a lion den I actually do sleep in.

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tcr! tcr! · Jan 20, 2018 at 1:59 pm

Facebook, what the fuck is this? Buttons touching input boxes? Buttons with gradients, buttons without? Malformed and irregularly sized border radiuses? This is not a toy.

Buttons touching input boxes

keamoose keamoose · Jan 20, 2018 at 2:17 pm

Get it together, Facebook.

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Cleaning the stove at 5:17 pm on a Friday

tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 5:17 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180119 - Cleaning the stove at 5:17 pm on a Friday

Cleaning the stove at 5:17 pm on a Friday

I’ll get to the picture in a minute. The real question is why am I having 2 to 3 bowel movements a day on average? Is it my diet? My posture? My sleep schedule? My collection of fine leather pirate boots?

I’m just kidding. I don’t poop that often. Really, it’s none of your business.

But what I’m not kidding about is the phrase “bowel movement.” The next time I hear someone utter those two words together I’m gonna lose it. And then puke.

Nobody should say that ever. You either poop or you take a shit. And which you do depends on the urgency.

I even had to school my dentist on this fact. Well, I didn’t really but I will if the situation ever comes up.

My mom used to say it to me all the time when I was a kid. Because she’s a nurse. And that’s what they do. But it’s 2018 so stop saying that. Everybody.

That phrase is too many syllables for kids anyways. They just wanna take a dump (that works, too) and get back to playing Berserk on Atari. They don’t ever want to know what’s going on inside their bodies — if it’s the bowels or the intestines or any of that other internal plumbing. They got kid stuff to do.

Now then. As to why I tore apart the top of my stove in a cleaning OCD fit on a Friday night after work… I have no idea. I guess that’s what you do when you’re me.

And then in the middle of my scrub frenzy I gotta poop and I’ll be damned if these two horrible words didn’t pop into my head like Satan from the bowels of Hell. So I want to put an end to all of that.

I’m not knocking my mom or the other healthcare professionals. Those are the kind of things that they say. And if they want to continue to say them, they should do it within the confines of their workspace.

Leave us normal people to poop in peace.

#ocd #poop #protip #diariespodcast

17 comments

fiatlux423 · Jan 19, 2018 at 5:56 pm

Drop a Deuce?

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tcr! tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 6:43 pm

Sounds too much like Andrew Dice Clay 🤔

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Hater McGhray Hater McGhray · Jan 19, 2018 at 6:48 pm

Andrew Deuce Clay

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Wilkins · Jan 19, 2018 at 7:43 pm

BM is a term I first heard from a nurse

tcr! tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 10:20 pm

Yep, that’s where everybody hears it first.

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Botsford · Jan 19, 2018 at 8:42 pm

Stove looks pretty good

tcr! tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 10:20 pm

Thanks!

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 20, 2018 at 12:03 am

I worked at a hospital in Muncie, In called Ball Memorial Hospital. BMH. Bowel Movement Headquarters. Pull my finger is about as far as most of ‘em got in humor school.

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Kelly K · Jan 20, 2018 at 2:44 am

For me what’s worse is when adults say they have to go ‘potty’ about themselves or another adult. I guess it’s fine if you ask a child if they have to go potty, or tell them you’re going potty. But it’s NEVER ok to tell another adult you’re going potty!

fiatlux423 · Jan 20, 2018 at 7:28 am

My old sponsor used to say “I have to tinkle”

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 20, 2018 at 3:08 am

Now I’m thinking of the old Cheech and Chong routine. “Pinch a loaf.”

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 20, 2018 at 3:09 am

Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory talks about moving his bowels.

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tcr! tcr! · Jan 20, 2018 at 2:08 pm

I may have opened a door inadvertently. I can’t participate in these kinds of conversations. Either online or off.

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angeline35 angeline35 · Jan 20, 2018 at 9:01 pm

Its time for the big poop 😊

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Ryan Waters · Jan 21, 2018 at 9:18 am

Oh my God! I’m a nurse and I feel like I’m going to vomit!!!!!!

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 26, 2018 at 9:52 am

Since I don’t know when, I have used “powder my nose”. It gets the rednecks right by their knecks and even my die hards will still raise an eyebrow. If I’m especially feelin’ it, I will let fly with a “tinkle” or “potty” just to keep men honest.

tcr! tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 7:31 am

That’s a good one. I don’t think I ever make a formal announcement. One of the ex’s insisted that all affairs of this nature should remain private to the person in charge. The session manager if you will.

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Happy river-drive-by Friday, peeps!

tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 5:00 pm

Happy river drive by Friday peeps

Enjoy your weekends and your each others.

🌞 💖 📸 #photos #protip #happyfriday

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Jan 19th, 2018 at 11:49:01 am

tcr! · Jan 19, 2018 at 11:49 am

What you need to know today:

Everything is going to be alright.

#protip

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Pink kitchen at night

tcr! · Jan 18, 2018 at 9:49 pm

Pink kitchen at night

I was trying to get a good panoramic picture of the lit parts of the pink kitchen.

This one’s not bad for a night time shot. View full size →

#photos #pinkkitchen

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I’m all too familiar with telescoping

tcr! · Jan 18, 2018 at 1:28 pm

Telescoping effect - Wikipedia

In cognitive psychology, the telescoping effect (or telescoping bias) refers to the temporal displacement of an event whereby people perceive recent events as being more remote than they are and distant events as being more recent than they are. The former is known as backward telescoping or time expansion, and the latter as is known as forward telescoping.

Oh, that was just last year when I got my Vespa bag five years ago.

PS- I’m still using it today.

Vesa notebook bag

#telescoping

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Jan 17th, 2018 at 7:59:38 pm

tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 7:59 pm

I’m always so proud of myself when I walk out of the grocery store without any ice cream.

In related news: I’m always so disappointed with myself when I’m sitting on the couch without any ice cream.

#confessional

4 comments

Momma J Momma J · Jan 17, 2018 at 8:08 pm

Buy ice cream!

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Botsford · Jan 17, 2018 at 9:30 pm

Right?

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marney0160 marney0160 · Jan 18, 2018 at 9:20 pm

You crack me up! 😂😂

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Karsin · Jan 18, 2018 at 11:36 pm

Exactly

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Hot Tamales for dinner

tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 5:34 pm

Hot Tamales for dinner

#photos #meanwhile #culinaryhero

6 comments

keamoose keamoose · Jan 17, 2018 at 5:43 pm

Animals don’t use cutlery!

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Momma J Momma J · Jan 17, 2018 at 5:44 pm

Dessert?

tcr! tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 7:59 pm

Appetizer

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DeeDee · Jan 17, 2018 at 5:55 pm

Luv them.

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Wilkins · Jan 17, 2018 at 6:14 pm

my weakness

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Ryan Waters · Jan 18, 2018 at 1:41 pm

My kind of meal

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$20K to $10K in 2 months

tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 8:55 am

Bitcoin Falls Below $10,000

Bitcoin Falls Below $10,000

Following a meteoric rise to just shy of $20,000 per coin less than two months ago, Bitcoin, the oldest and most valuable cryptocurrency, fell below $10,000 on both the Coinbase and Bittrex exchanges for the first time since early December. It’s far from the only digital token plummeting.

Nearly every cryptocurrency is down, most by double digit percents, according to Coin Market Cap. The crash seems driven by fear of looming regulations from Germany, stricter laws in South Korea, and an increasing involvement by the SEC. Reddit community r/CryptoCurrency is directing US-based community members to the Suicide Hotline while panic ensues.

Every now and then someone will ask me about Bitcoin. I don’t know how it works under the hood but I get the gist of it.

What I also get is the reoccurring feeling that I like stable and mature technologies. Crytpocurrency is volatile and the people involved are lunatics.

From the Gizmodo article comments:

99% of the ‘hodlers’ have no idea what they’re talking about, the other 1% is hoping to scam the 99%

Have fun with all that.

Bitcoin and its kin are here to stay for sure but until you can buy stuff on Amazon with them, meh.

#bitcoin

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Shiny kitchen guitar

tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 8:06 am

Shiny kitchen guitar

Good morning, peeps!

Hope your days are sunny and shiny.

And you get some donuts.

And win the Powerball lotto.

2 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 17, 2018 at 8:23 am

Good morning. If I win the Powerball I will buy you a donut.

tcr! tcr! · Jan 17, 2018 at 8:35 am

YES!!

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🎙 Listen now →