· Dec 13, 2020 at 3:08 pm
Sometimes I’m driving and I got nowhere in particular to be and no particular time to get there.
But then some dude with reindeer antlers on his car is driving 10 miles an hour slower than the rest of the whole world.
And then I just wanna rip the antlers off his car and pound the roof of his car with them.
How are you?
· Oct 28, 2020 at 9:40 pm
About the only kind of exercise I’m getting these last few weeks is walking around my house. Walking to my office chair. Walking to the fridge. Walking to the couch. Ad infinitum.
Needless to say I’ve gained 80 100 pounds in my gut alone. Apparently that’s my calorie piggy panel or something.
So with all that said, I’ve been using my rowing machine the last several nights or so. I can feel it in my arms. Feel it in my shoulders and back. Feel it in my legs and even my temples.
I feel it all over. Except in my stomach. My stomach is like, “well, I could eat 🤚”
· Oct 4, 2020 at 3:32 pm
I’m watching Bear Grylls on this Sunday afternoon. He’s wandering around in the Australia outback. He’s been out there a couple of hours. “Well, I guess I’ll have to drink my own pee.”
All I can think is, “dude…it’s not even lunch time you’re already resorting to this?!” 😳 Seriously, the episode has been on for 8 minutes 28 seconds.
· Mar 4, 2020 at 8:39 am
I don’t know why but I often try to multitask when I brush my teeth. It’s like what else can I do while I’ve got this toothbrush in my mouth? I got a whole other arm I could be using. 💪
The next thing I know I’m gagging on toothpaste foam with a belt turned inside out and through two whole belt loops.