The first week or so I was sober I was sitting in a meeting and said, “I’ve lit my life on fire.”
When I was drinking I wasn’t capable of caring because I was drunk and numb to my life burning. But being freshly sober I was like, “Oh my fucking god. My life is on fire.” I was freaking out, anxious all the time, having panic attacks… And I really, really didn’t want my life to burn down.
As I was talking during that meeting, I was looking around the room and most people were nodding because they, too, had set their lives on fire at one time or another. Knowing that others could relate to what I’d done and how I was feeling gave me some hope. It made me feel accepted, that I was in the right place. My whole life I’d waited to belong somewhere and now I finally had. On more than a superficial level.
I’m sorry but I just can’t get behind people who are sulking and pouting that their lives are so horrible while floating around in their swimming pools. In Southern California no less. On a weekday. In the middle of the afternoon.
The neighbors hired a team to redo the landscaping in their yard. Another neighbor frequently visited, gesturing with what appeared to be weed removal and mulch placement. Possibly grand plans for a complete lawn makeover.
At one point she was sitting on the truck’s tailgate drinking from a Coleman one gallon water jug. Most likely not hers as I’ve only seen her shuffle either an open beer or one of those gallon boxed wines around.
I’m not passing judgment only making observations, documenting neighborhood activities.
However, I will say that having a wine box sitting slightly off center in one’s front yard while holding a wine glass a little shy of 45 degrees and feverishly smoking one after the other in the middle of summer on a day just like today… with a diagonal walk, the hurried kind of pace, hurried only to resist the forces of gravity but gravity’s pen just might be mightier than one’s sword as one’s physical abilities just might be impaired…
Well, I’ll let that be your call.
In related weather news it’s mostly sunny today. High in the mid to low 80s. Zero chance of precipitation and 7 mph winds. Perfect day for yard work.