And then there was that one time (yesterday) that I was thinking pretty much everyone I meet and know in the here and now aren’t dicks. It’s a big shift in my perspective.
When I was younger I used to believe that most people were assholes but then as I was thinking more yesterday, I realized my thoughts had changed. For the better. More than likely I just remembered the assholes, too, that they made more of an impression on me. Because they were obnoxious. And I was real good at that whole focusing on the negative instead of the positive thing. Over and over again.
Maggie as we’re leaving Super Target last night: Why don’t people steal the shopping carts?
Me: Well, out of all the things I stole, shopping carts never really appealed to me. They don’t have the functional value of say…a wheelchair.
Me: I guess there was that one time…
Maggie: All of your “one time” stories usually end badly.
Me: No, this is my only out-of-the ordinary run-in with a shopping cart. In one restaurant I worked at I was pushing the assistant manager in a cart up and down the alley behind work. We got it going pretty fast.
Me: That’s all there is to my story. Nobody ended up in the hospital and we abandoned the cart. See, shopping carts lose their appeal after a few minutes. Kinda like the wheelchair did in your Uncle Shaun and I’s apartment.