One of the more important lessons I learned after I grew up was that “it will stop” with the “it” being whatever painful emotion, negative circumstance, or feeling of despair that I’m stumbling over at the time. They will all eventually go away.
On one condition: I give myself permission to feel whatever that sadness or agony is, go through that miserable situation and see it through. I don’t escape my desperation by avoiding it. It passes when I give in to the heartache until it’s done and only then do I get to move on. There’s no avoiding it, no way to skip town or cheat it the dealer. I have to ride the bull one way or another.
Before I used to think that whatever I was feeling or dealing with was the worst possible feeling EVER and that it would NEVER go away. I didn’t know how to handle anything uncomfortable so I ran as hard as I could in the opposite direction.
I trust that the aches will stop today, the wounds will heal, the fires will cease — if I do what I’m supposed to do. Sometimes it takes a couple of hours, sometimes a couple of days, and sometimes years — but the pain will fade.
I try to reinforce this with Maggie fairly often. The cat scratches her or whatever and I tell her that it’ll only hurt for a little bit, just like last time, and then you’ll forget about it and go on about your day.
“Scatter some sunshine” to the other humans. That always helps during our own cloudy days.
As my dear friend St. James says, “Peace out, death to dogmas.”
#confessional #protip #lettherebehope