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Jun 10th, 2015 at 12:43:03 pm

tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 12:43 pm

Fearless Leader’s office is on my way to the kitchen so I wait until he runs his “errands” at lunch time before I go to rinse my coffee cup and refill it with hot water for my afternoon tea.

He’s always staring at me when I walk by his office door, trying to make eye contact, form the slightest emotional bond. I avoid this non-spoken interaction at all costs. AT ALL COSTS.

I’m also very pleased to announce that even though we have a kitchen in our office space, we have no sink. I first need to leave our space and walk to the building’s communal kitchen area to dispose of any left over morning coffee…and…then return to avoid his glances.

We do have a fridge (that I never use), a microwave, and a toaster oven but alas, no sink. Fearless Leader assumed we’d never need a drain of some sort. Because when you have all other major appliances (sans stove), cleaning up is the last thing you’d want to do.

Hinkley Springs brings big bottles of water twice a month because the landlord advises tenants to “not drink the water” from the communal tap.

What about the microwave you ask? Well, there is indeed an upcoming story on that front.

We also have a one foot high garbage can that I refuse to use. All my trash either goes home or to the communal kitchen. Does it surprise you that our can is overflowing constantly because nobody ever takes it out? It shouldn’t but it does explain why I never use it.

#worknews

10 comments

keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:40 pm

Install a slop bucket for used coffee. Put it where you can make eye contact with the boss. Every day, lock eyes and stare him down without speaking as you slowly pour the old coffee into the bucket and then walk away. Never empty the bucket. Never.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 11, 2015 at 8:19 am

yeah, keamoose is on to something here. but i was thinking old school: conceal a hand grenade and sort of sneak up on him. maybe while he’s moving his bowels. it would be easier during this time of day because he’d already have his pants down. then kind of sneak up on him and plunge the device 14 or 15 inches or so up his keester. i know, i know, it’s messier my way but you blow his shit up. remember, no lingering. pull your arm out as quickly as possible and MOVE AWAY from the incident.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 11, 2015 at 11:23 am

I tend to favour the psychological torture, but if you do go with the grenade plan, wear gloves.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 12, 2015 at 3:16 am

i think grenades come with a pair of disposable gloves?

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 12, 2015 at 8:05 am

The name brands do, but not the grocery store grenades.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 13, 2015 at 1:15 am

good to know

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 15, 2015 at 1:37 pm

There really was a slop bucket at one point, something like the one pictured below. My boss and the other nerd developer would actually dump their left over coffee in it day after day.

Of course (1) it would go moldy and smell something foul. As soon as I saw the white blooms, I would cover the container with whatever bag I could find.

Of course (2) nobody thought it as gross as I.

Of course (3) nobody would dump it unless clients were coming in.

tupperware beverage container

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 15, 2015 at 1:44 pm

Truth is stranger than fiction. How about you just dump your leftover coffee on the boss’s chair every day?

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 15, 2015 at 10:37 pm

Ok, they have to know they’re growing mold. When it’s gone that far, just crap on his chair. If he went DNA on you, he’d know, but it would have to be expensive as hell for him. In the meantime, just completely wear a straight face and say you don’t know what he’s talking about. You could up the ante after the initial wave by crapping on his desk. Or shit in his wastebasket. Never bat an eye and claim innocence and ignorance. Or…my favorite: the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. My boss keeps her little closet of an office locked, but she leaves the keys dangling in the door handle when she’s there. I thought of just swiping them and throwing them in the dumpster, but I wouldn’t be able to maintain a straight face.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 17, 2015 at 11:30 am

Speaking of keeping straight faces…

I used to drink the office coffee. But I stopped. On purpose.

Partly because I started limiting myself to one pot of coffee a day and I drink that before I go to work and bring in a to-go cup if I don’t finish it.

Partly because I got sick of being the only one who made it. And making it means that I had to clean up after yesterday’s coffee. And that means walking down the hall to the communal sink. The coffee pot is also ridiculously complicated. One has to touch all the parts with blue arrows.

The Moccamaster pot itself used to sit in our big room after I made coffee since that’s where the majority of us are.

Anyways… I told everyone in the office that I wasn’t going to be drinking coffee at work anymore the day before I stopped. This was an implication that I also wouldn’t be making coffee either.

The next morning Moccamaster was sitting where it always sat but nobody took the initiative to make coffee. Imagine that.

Fearless Leader rolls into work around 9:45 am and heads straight for the Moccamaster as usual. I wait until he fills up his cup and starts to head for his office before I say “that’s probably yesterday’s coffee.” He turns around disgusted and looks at me. Then he turns again and goes into his office. I could barely contain my giggles.

Moccamaster now sits in the kitchen, usually dirty and half full of coffee from god-knows-when.

technivorm moccamaster grand

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The Once-Proud Fake Orca

tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 10:22 am

Sea Lions 1, Fake Orca 0

Sea Lions 1, Fake Orca 0

Much like LeBron James, the fake orca of Astoria has failed in his mission to fix all the problems of one town on his own.

The fiberglass orca captivated the world as a solution to the growing number of sea lions who have taken over Astoria’s docks, blocking locals from their boats. But when it finally launched this morning after engine trouble delayed its inaugural float, the once-proud fake orca, which was actually a boat with a man inside, was pushed over by the wake of a passing ship.

“Our crew from the port had to go rescue the operator so he didn’t drown,” said Jim Knight, executive director of the Port of Astoria, according to KOIN News.

I really need to get in on masterminding schemes such as this.

First off, I wouldn’t have let it be referred to as “fake orca” — I would’ve went with U-Orca-Boat.

Second off, I probably shouldn’t be allowed access to the whole Internet while at work.

#meanwhile

8 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 10, 2015 at 10:33 am

i wouldn’t go so far as to say i shouldn’t be allowed bigassweb while at work. but if they ever invent a breathalyzer before i can hit send? that would be mint.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:10 pm

Blinking LOL

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Orca you glad I didn’t say banana?

…I got nothin’.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 3:08 pm

Wait. All he needs is a ballasted ventral fin. The Orca that is, not jimi.

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tism tism · Jun 10, 2015 at 9:07 pm

“Orcam” Live from the belly of the beast.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 11, 2015 at 12:05 am

a little ballast in the night ain’t always a bad thing.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 12, 2015 at 3:12 am

promising.

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Happy Wednesday — Jun 10th, 2015 Edition

tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 8:23 am

Wednesday dancing - MP4

#videos #wednesday

4 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 10, 2015 at 8:32 am

happy wednesday

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 8:35 am

When I first found this I didn’t realize there was sound included. Now I kinda wish there wasn’t.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 10, 2015 at 9:13 am

oh no. i gotta say it’s mos’scoscious.

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jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 11, 2015 at 12:11 am

everybody here at work loves wednesday’s dancing. i played dr john while she danced though.

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Jun 9th, 2015 at 6:02:36 pm

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 6:02 pm

Strawberries right on the vine

#photos #foodies

11 comments

tism tism · Jun 9, 2015 at 10:41 pm

Yum
I’ve been devouring strawberries for weeks now.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 8:38 am

Totally.. I just have to get to them before the chipmunks do. Nothing more infuriating than finding a plump red one with the bottom chewed off.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 10:20 am

Well, I opened my browser and it was on the latest comments page, so I saw that comment Totally Out of Context. Strawberries, right.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:21 pm

hehe.. ya, I’m not overly fond of the Latest Comments page. It does the job but that’s about it.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:25 pm

I like that I don’t miss comments on older stuff. It’s just that I don’t always recognize the post from the title. In this case with it just being a date stamp, there was no chance. I use that page a lot though, I think it’s a great idea.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Ya… The way I built the comments component, one could attach it to another (any other) component — not just an article, but also a photo or product.

The downside to that is that it’s a pain to fetch the title of the comment’s parent. I’ll fix that someday. :D

I’m in total agreement though, I use the page often to skim for anything I missed.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:32 pm

I also need to queue the comment notification emails instead of sending them immediately.

That’s the cause of the delay when posting a comment, the site then needs to fire off emails.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:36 pm

Huh, I didn’t realize that. Neat. I like the emails, although sometimes I don’t know which post they’re about. I do notice if I click through from the email and then have to log in to respond, I get sent to the main page after I log in.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 3:28 pm

> I get sent to the main page after I log in.

Not any more, I hope.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 3:30 pm

Ooh! It works! Thanks :)

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 12, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Commenting should be faster, too, now that their corresponding emails are queued for delivery.

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White trash at its finest

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 5:41 pm

Witness The Death Of A Child’s Future In This Walmart Shampoo Aisle

The two videos embedded in this post are called “Beech Grove Walmart fight part 1” and “Beech Grove Walmart fight part 2.” Each video carries the same YouTube description: “2 women and a kid fight at Walmart.” I just want everyone to be clear on what they are getting into here.

Part 1, above, begins with two women arguing somewhere offscreen. Things are already pretty heated by the time the video starts, and one of the would-be combatants is threatening to dismount her rascal scooter in order to fight. (Spoiler alert: She does.) It is at about the 57-second mark that you will hear a new, unfamiliar voice enter the argument. A high-pitched threat is made.

#videos #meanwhile

1 comment

Deitriche · Apr 22, 2019 at 10:31 am

Sad! Poor kid watching his mom and a stranger assault eachother..Nice parenting

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Donating a cool $8.2M

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 2:02 pm

I don’t know why Daniel thinks I can provide “assistance” with such a hefty donation.

#spam #email

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Finally Moving by Pretty Lights

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 11:50 am

Peeps, this is one of my favorite all time jams.

I gotta pretty good feeling today. Hope you all do as well.

#musicvideos

1 comment

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:58 am

i love it.

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Robots are all the rage this week

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 11:43 am

The machines that rose to DARPA's robotics challenge

The machines that rose to DARPA’s robotics challenge

The robot apocalypse has been postponed. At DARPA Robotics Challenge in California, where the world’s best and brightest robots came to compete, the machines were far from invincible. They moved at a glacial pace, stumbled and slammed to the ground and lay there motionless until their teams of humans came with a rig to pick them up. But their falls and flaws revealed how vulnerable they are, and actually made them seem more human in the process. These machines exhibited grit, intelligence and dexterity that could potentially make them stellar first-responders in disaster situations in the near future.

DARPA launched the robotics challenge as a response to Japan’s Fukushima nuclear disaster in 2011. And the agency’s been putting robots to the test for the last couple of years. It’s their way of pushing robotics to create advanced machines that can go in as first-responders instead of humans. Despite their benefits, though, robots are often dreaded. But the machines at the two-day robotics challenge had the crowd cheering wildly, gasping loudly and jumping out of their seats in support and anticipation.

#robots

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Jun 9th, 2015 at 7:31:07 am

tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 7:31 am

Crashed UFO

If I had a farm, this would be on it.

#ufos

5 comments

tcr! tcr! · Jun 9, 2015 at 7:35 am

There would also be a herd of wild unicat to keep out the riff raff.

We believe in unicats

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 9, 2015 at 9:22 am

If they did a remake of ET, he’d use the speak n spell to download LOLunicats before texting home.

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tcr! tcr! · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:25 pm

Google, you have one job. :(

Google you have one job

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:32 pm

A sad day for the Great and Bountiful Google Empire.

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keamoose keamoose · Jun 10, 2015 at 2:49 pm

There, I fixed the Internet for you.

2015 06 10 13 47 03

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Often times I eat brownies right from the pan

tcr! · Jun 8, 2015 at 8:35 pm

often times i eat brownies right from the pan like an animal

#LIKEANANIMAL #photos #brownies

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🎙 Listen now →