You guys remember the mailbox comparison I made earlier this month?

Of course you do. So lucky for us the ladder-mailbox has been converted to a trashcan-mailbox. I can’t decide if this is an upgrade or a downgrade. You pick.

I can say that if I worked for USPS I would be hesitant to approach this receptacle. I would be worried that Oscar the Grouch would pop out in all his fuzzy, matted, glory. And man, can that little dude talk. He just goes on and on and nobody can ever get away from him. Nobody.

Worse still, everything he says is negative. Yeah I get it, your life is a wreck and everything sucks but the first thing I would do is move out of the damn garbage can. You can only go up from there.

Okay. I’ve lost interest in all of this. I’m going to put down the mailboxes unless something really unusual happens. Like Bill Murray shows up, collecting mail with a spatula.

Fine. Yes, I did take this photo just a few minutes ago. From my truck as I was driving by. I didn’t even come to a complete stop. However, It is downright gorgeous outside. I’ve been driving my workdesk all day and coming out to these beautiful temperatures really gave a boost to my spirit…so I wasn’t thinking safety first.

Anyways. If you’re still at work get out of there as soon as you can. As fast as you can. Like when there was a fire at the birthday party and George Costanza was pushing over kids and knocking down clowns during his hasty exit. Do that. Or at least keep him in spirit.

And then stop at Blue Goose and get yourself something from the bakery. Anything will do. You deserve it.

#photos #usps

At 7:56 am I wrote on twitter:

Apparently DreamHost needs to rebuild and restore the world when one of their VPSes goes down.

https://app.status.io/pages/incident/…

Yes, I’m cranky when my sites are offline for 12 hours.

The website’s back up and running but I needed to restore the database from one of my backups because DreamHost’s copy hadn’t been updated since yesterday around 1 am and I did mine yesterday at 8:45 pm.

All in all the site was unreachable from yesterday at 9:45 pm until today at 12:15 pm. Central time of course.

This has been the worst failure on their part I’ve seen since signing up in April 2010. Almost 24 hours of downtime is unacceptable.

Not to mention it took their support team 8 hours to reply to the ticket I opened. I finally twitter’ed them last night at 11:45 pm.

If I’m feeling rambunctious I may move the databases somewhere else this weekend. But I just hate doing shit like that anymore.

#devhell

For a while I had confused the word “practice” with “perfected” in Step 12:

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and had practiced perfected these principles in all our affairs.
— Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous

I thought that because I’d worked all the other steps and had arrived at number 12 that I should be over some hump. Maybe even overflowing with love while walking with spiritual principles or whatever.

Like I had crossed some finish line because I had had a spiritual awakening.

It wasn’t something that I consciously thought. I knew the step used the phrase “practiced these principles”, similar to applying them but for whatever reason I was holding myself to a “perfected” standard.

Of course then would feel like I was coming up short.

But… Just because I’ve had that spiritual awakening that doesn’t mean I’ve perfected anything. I have to continue to practice much the way Maggie needs to practice her cello.

Granted with working the others steps and making it to twelve I have been elevated to a new plane of existence but I’m not cured or healed. By any stretch.

Okay that “elevated” part sounds a bit arrogant. But I have changed.

It’s funny how our minds can know something but then deeper down we believe something else.

If something’s bothering me, I should investigate. Even if it seems minor. If anything is making me feel bad about me, something’s wrong, no matter how slight or subdued or subliminal it may feel.

#advancedsoul #twelvesteps

I answered a phone call from Troy, NY because I’m in a grump mood. But the cosmos saved me from myself (again) and the caller was nice, just doing research for a student body, something or another.

Since Floyd was fresh in my mind, I put on my Dr. Jones’ fedora and probed her for details. My main takeaway was that it sounded like Floyd had worked in education.

Dr. Floyd Dunn, I have you now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floyd_Dunn

Floyd Dunn (April 14, 1924 – January 24, 2015) was an American electrical engineer who made contributions to all aspects of the interaction of ultrasound and biological media. Dr. Dunn was a member of Scientific Committee 66 of the National Council on Radiation Protection and Measurements as well as many FDA, NIH, AIUM, and ASA committees. He collaborated with scientists in the UK, Japan, China and Post-Soviet states.

Too bad you really are dead. I would’ve liked to know you. Maybe given you a call, shared insurance quotes and acoustic radiation detection.

Okay, I’m not 100% this is my Floyd but this guy’s a doctor who once lived in Illinois. Out of all the Dr. Dunn’s I researched, I feel this is the most likely. Doctors like to be online. They like to be found.

#doctorfloyd #missedconnections

Source: instagram.com/p/BeDmprmg7KS/

❤️ 🛰 #cosmos #neildegrassetyson

I don’t know who the genius was that turned the heat down to 66°F last night but since I’m the only one home it surely wasn’t me.

#meanwhile

One of my most absolute favorite places ❤️

This church is in St. Charles. About five years ago I was here every Tuesday at 8 pm.

Also got my 4 dollar circular saw at one of their annual rummage sales. 💪

#photos #bakermemorial #forsale

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Audio (MP3): 20180123 - Why I never answer my cell phone

A few years back someone by the name of Floyd inadvertently gave my cell number to his insurance agent. And then that domino’ed into my number getting on every insurance company’s call list.

I’ve tried being nice to them, tried asking them to put me on their DO NOT call list. I’ve tried being mean, tried being funny, tried all sorts of things to get them to just stop. I even told them for a while that Floyd was dead and didn’t need insurance anymore.

But once you get on any kind of insurance call or mailing list, you’re screwed. You might as well throw your phone in a dumpster, shave your head, and go live the monkeys. It won’t matter that you’re not Floyd. They’ll find you and call you from Troy, NY and from Arlington, MA and from La Grange, IL and from even from La Habra, CA.

Same goes for car dealerships. I get about five emails a week asking if I want to renew the manufacturer’s warranty for the Nissan Cube I bought in 2011. They’ll even throw in a free oil change. I don’t even own the Cube anymore. Last sales guy that called me, I told him that Cube was the biggest piece of shit I’d ever owned.

Please note: this is why I never answer my cell phone. Even if the caller ID says that you’re in my contacts, I won’t believe it. One time an incoming call came up with my mom’s number and it turned out to be Jaclyn Smith. Okay, that’s a lie but man, did you guys ever watch her in Charlie’s Angels? Never mind, Jaclyn has nothing to do with Floyd.

I looked up Floyd once on my lunch break. I can’t remember his last name but I do remember that he is/was a doctor. Dr. Floyd. Probably watching Netflix and filing out a GEICO car insurance quote and then typo’ed his cell number. That’s the kinda thing that happens when all your appointments get filled for the day and you throw a fit.

I don’t know if Dr. Floyd is still alive or not. He’s dead to me. Him and the insurance he rode in on.

Anyways, below is a script I tend to use if I’m feeling feisty and an unknown caller rings me for Floyd.

Season to taste but use your best southern goofball accent:

“Floyd? Well no, Floyd can’t come to the phone right now. He’s over in county lockup. He’s framed a course. He didn’t steal those 12 quarts a syrup like Randy said. He knew about Randy’s plan ahead a time but jus knowin’ don’t make ya a maple thief!

I don’t really blame ol’ Randy for wanting to steal all that syrup. Boy, I do like that, that syrup from the Walmart.”

If the caller is still with me I continue with:

“Well hell, ya probably jus wanna talk with Floyd. If ya got a pen I can give you his address over at county.

What was your name again? Ya sound familiar. Were ya at the Earlville Country Club last weekend?”

PS- If I go off on a Charlie’s Angels tangent for a few days, this is why.
PS×2- instagram.com/helloitsjaclyn/

#doctorfloyd #missedconnections #diariespodcast

Shown here is the tcr! shipping distribution hub of Illinois. Yep, I’m pretty low-tech here. December issue is going out to subscribers tonight along with some single issues from last month.

The current issue is by far my best work. It took me almost a year to find a groove with the designs and layouts but the photos are stellar and the writing superb. Of course.

If you send me your address, I may send you a free copy in the mail. Maybe. I don’t like commitments so keep that in mind.

#photos #diariesmagazine #forsale

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I’ve been waiting for ya.

💙 #photos #blueskies #forsale

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