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Don’t change the Excel

tcr! · Dec 4, 2017 at 10:50 am

When I have to send a third email I start TYPING IN CAPS.

🙄 #worknews #email

22 comments

keamoose keamoose · Dec 5, 2017 at 10:33 pm

Maybe lock the spreadsheet? People don’t listen.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 6, 2017 at 10:15 pm

Oh, I need him to fill it out and then return it to me so I can import the data into his website. I wish you could lock the header row. Maybe that’s a thing. 🤔

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 6, 2017 at 10:28 pm

You totally can! You can pick which cells are locked and which are able to be filled in. Finally my excel skills are coming in handy.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 6, 2017 at 10:32 pm

Yes!! 🎉 I’m totally locking that shit down.

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 6, 2017 at 10:58 pm

😁🎅🦄
I actually kind of love Excel. Every time I wonder whether it can do something, the answer turns out to be yes. Plus if you’re good at Excel, people look at you like you’re some kind of wizard, so that’s nice.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 8, 2017 at 6:45 am

After your latest Excel insight I look at you like you’re a Wizard++

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 8, 2017 at 7:42 am

😊😊😊
Watch me pull this conditional formatting out of my hat!

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 9, 2017 at 7:27 am

Ooohhh conditionals! 🎩

My favorite was when I wrote QUOTIENT(F3,30). I was pretty proud of myself.

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 13, 2017 at 10:59 am

An Excel thing happened yesterday, wherein the best long-term solution was for me to learn to code Visual Basic and write my own functions. And I guess that sounds a little extreme, but it’s actually exactly the same as when I decided to learn Danish because I couldn’t read something on Facebook, or the time I liked Dave and therefore ended up living in the sub-Arctic. So I guess that’s just how I am. Anyway, Excel is the best.

vbfunctions

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 13, 2017 at 11:54 am

VB was the first GUI-based programming language I learned. I wrote a basic web-browser in it once. Why? It was my own reading-Danish/Dave-liking experiment. 😊

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 13, 2017 at 12:12 pm

Haha, awesome :)
Do you remember any of it? I’d like to know how to make my function check whether the input is non-numeric, the issue being that the lab data it’s working with will sometimes have gaps in it, so the input cell might be blank or say ND (non-detectable) or something like <0.001 (less than the lowest amount the lab can measure). Right now I’ve settled for making the cell only accept numbers, but that will be a pain in the ass for entering the lab data because it won’t let you paste it in if it happens to be non-numeric. So, e.g. I have =COPPER(A1) and cell A1 is restricted to numeric data only, but I’d prefer that the COPPER function be able to check and return an appropriate value if A1 has something that isn’t a number or if it’s blank.

…I’m not a programmer. I know just enough to get myself in trouble. :P

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 13, 2017 at 3:47 pm

I think you should be able to do something like…

Dim HardnessCheck As Boolean

HardnessCheck = IsNumeric(hardness)

If HardnessCheck Then
  Copper = 👍
Else
  Copper = 👎
End If

But keep in mind I haven’t been on Windows intentionally or in VB for literally years.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 13, 2017 at 3:50 pm

Also, getting oneself in trouble is half the fun!

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 13, 2017 at 4:07 pm

Cool, I’ll give that a try!

I’m in deep trouble right now with a 2-dimensional lookup where I have to round the input in order to look it up. I AM LEARNING SO MUCH.

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 13, 2017 at 4:27 pm

You know what’s REAL FUN? Realizing that for the past 2 hours the entire problem has been a typo in a cell reference. Ok, back to the copper thing.

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 13, 2017 at 5:14 pm

By the way, your IsNumeric code worked great, thanks :)

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 14, 2017 at 7:13 am

I do my monthly payables/receivables in Apple’s Numbers.app. I have formulas to calculate my monthly budget, how much I can spend per week, day, etc. based on what’s coming in and what’s going out.

So one month according to my calculations I could live pretty high on the hog. But then when my bank account overdrew I soon realized a formula typo had given me an inflated sense of financial luxury.

I shallwould forevermore pay much closer attention to when copying and pasting cell formulae.

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 14, 2017 at 10:15 am

Ouch. Funny thing with this one is, I did copy and paste it and there is no reasonable explanation for how it could have changed.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 14, 2017 at 11:30 am

I have a reasonable explanation: Excel.

😉

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keamoose keamoose · Dec 18, 2017 at 4:13 pm

I started this on Friday and just finished it.

=INDIRECT(CONCATENATE(“’”,C$7,”’!”, ADDRESS(ROW(),MATCH($B$1,INDIRECT(CONCATENATE(“’”,C$7,”’!$A$5:$P$5”))),1)),TRUE)

It’s a goddam masterpiece and is going to save me days and days of tedious manual cell referencing. I think I leveled up in Excel.

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tcr! tcr! · Dec 19, 2017 at 6:59 am

And that critter lives all in one cell? I think you skipped three levels with that puppy.

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Mexican Wrestler Christmas ornament

tcr! · Dec 3, 2017 at 4:05 pm

Mexican Wrestler Christmas ornament

For my Christmas ornament this year I picked this Mexican Wrestler.

🎄💪 #photos #christmas

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French toasts with walnuts, apples, and cinnamons

tcr! · Dec 3, 2017 at 10:52 am

French toasts with walnuts, apples, and cinnamons

Because Sunday.

#photos #frenchtoast

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Coffee Bubbles

tcr! · Dec 3, 2017 at 8:19 am

Coffee Bubbles

When a day starts off with coffee bubbles you know it’s gonna be good.

☕️ #photos #coffee

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A truckload of toys

tcr! · Dec 2, 2017 at 3:09 pm

A truckload of toys

Over this past week Maggie and I packed up a truckload of her toys to donate.

It’s the season of giving, peeps.

#photos #maggie #lettherebehope

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Where there’s a Willis…

tcr! · Dec 2, 2017 at 12:20 pm

Where there's a Willis

I think Maggie nailed it. What else could the cup mean?

#photos #maggie #brucewillis #chipotle

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I don’t consider myself high maintenance (cont)

tcr! · Dec 2, 2017 at 10:41 am

To clarify…

I won’t use forks or spoons in any bowls unless they’re made of plastic. Not the flatware but the bowl itself.

I only eat from plastic bowls. If I don’t have any clean plastic bowls, I’ll find a tupperware container before using a ceramic bowl.

#thestruggleisreal

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I don’t consider myself high maintenance

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 4:55 pm

Audio (MP3): 20171201 - I dont consider myself high maintenance

However…

I don’t like anything touching my feet. Except socks. Or other footwear. I don’t even touch my own feet. Unless I have to.

I won’t look at my belly button. It’s on its own as far as I’m concerned.

About 18 months ago I threw away every Q-tip in my house. I won’t even say their name out loud.

At least once a week I think about shaving my eyebrows. But I don’t because I have an office to go to every workday.

Every workday I eat one banana and one apple. Sometimes when I get home I’ll have another apple but never another banana.

I won’t use forks or spoons in any bowls unless they’re made of plastic. Not the flatware but the bowl itself.

I use my bedroom closet for miscellaneous storage and keep all of my clothes in a basement closet. Because that’s where the washer and dryer are.

That’s the shortlist.

What have you got?

#thestruggleisreal #diariespodcast

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Break On Through by The Doors

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 11:01 am

Audio (MP3): 20171201 - Break On Through by The Doors

Peeps, here’s your the-gate-is-straight Friday jam.

Listening to The Doors when I was 9 and 10 opened up my musical world so much more than bands like the Beatles did. Don’t get me wrong, I love yellow submarines as much as the next u-boat commander but I met the darkly cool poet persona in songs like The End and Waiting for the Sun. I became all too familiar with the torture of losing friends, and of longing for closure when I was a teenager.

Hearing Morrison sing, “waiting for you to tell me what went wrong” still resonates with me as much as it did when I was in junior high. I could relate to that so much more than when Lennon and McCartney sang, “I wanna hold your hand.” I never held girls’ hands in school.

Along with the vocals and lyrics in Break on Through, the gritty distorted guitar, the vox continental organ, the bossa nova drums always remind me of driving, accelerating, smashing through whatever it is that keeps me locked up inside myself.

Powerful stuff when you’re a kid.

Anyways, put on some headphones, find your other side. 😊

#musicvideos #thedoors #diariespodcast

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Dec 1st, 2017 at 7:55:24 am

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 7:55 am

Red clown nose on Dec 1st

Happy Dec 1st, peeps! I’m celebrating commedia dell’arte. Rudolph jokes are out of the question.

#photos #clowning #happyfriday

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