Something like this is what I’m referring to: you’re pulled over along the side of the street at a mailbox, depositing your envelopes on a Wednesday morning.
It’s not Christmas card season but you still got bills to pay or ballots to send. You’re lost in your own world of stamps and bubble wrapped packages. Maybe the taste of envelope glue is still fresh in your mouth. Maybe not.
Regardless, then you pull out into traffic without signaling, without yielding, without common sense. Then you cut across two lanes without haste and turn right.
All of that. That’s being a moron.
It’s more than wearing blinders and seeing only your direct path. It’s putting a bag over your whole head and wandering around life clueless. Bumping into people and obstacles like you’re at Funway on Saturday night.
Look, other people will be annoyed when you’re acting like a moron. Expect that. Underline it in your head. You may even get the truck horn.
My point is, we’re all gonna act like morons. It’s what we do. I won’t hold it against you.
But when you see yourself, feel yourself acting like a moron, stop.
Don’t maintain. Don’t forge or plow ahead. Pull up life’s emergency brake, take the bag off, and wave meekly yet happily in complete, acknowledged defeat.
Hang your head if you must. Because people just want to know that you know that you were indeed being a moron.
I haven’t seen the new Halloween movie, just the trailer and commercials. It looks like they may have largely ignored the later films. Because that would be good. Bad guys should never say, “Oh, I wasn’t really dead. I’ve just been chillin’ here in this decade long coma.” Comas induced by two fiery explosions (4th and 5th films) or whatever. Because that’s dumb.
Writers in the horror genre: take a tip from Star Wars and don’t kill off your villain in the first or second movie. Wait until the third and make it a solid trilogy.
I wasn’t super excited they were making another Halloween movie and I’m a bit curmudgeon’ed before even getting to the theater. Rob Zombie did his Halloween movies not that long (2007 and 2009) so I’m not sure if we need another. We got ten others. And Zombie’s take on Myers wasn’t really that good.
Stephen King’s written literally tens of books and most that have been made into films are in my top 20 list of horror movies you have to see. Carrie, Christine, Cujo, Pet Cemetery, The Shining, etc.
So in this new 2018 trailer, when Michael drops the teeth over the bathroom stall door, I got the feeling he did this as a fear tactic. A way to scare his victim. Pleasurably. One of the great things about the original two Halloween films is that Carpenter and Hill never gave Michael emotion. They also never gave him motive. Never gave him cause or reason. He was simply out to stab and strangle his sisters.
People void of emotions are far more frightening than those who’re demonstrably psychotic. Unknown things are terrifying. Charles Manson acting goofy and outrageous in prison, not scary.
Don’t get me wrong, the teeth drop was a novel idea but I don’t think it’s necessarily what Myers would do. He’s a killing automaton, not a sadistic dentist from Little Shop of Horrors.
And then Laurie Strode. In this movie she looks to be arming up like she’s in Terminator 2. I’d rather have her permanently scarred and traumatized than channeling Sarah Connor.
Yeah, I’m all coming down on this movie. I’m sure I’ll watch it sooner or later like I have all the others. But I can’t say I’m excited. Not at this point. But I do like Danny McBride. But I’m not sure about David Gordon Green.
So I was minding my own business on this Monday afternoon, listening to the All ’80s Station on Amazon Music. Toto came on, blessing the rains down in Africa as they do. There was nothing unusual about today’s Kilimanjaro.
Until I happen to glance at the red background with sword and the mighty song title underneath.
I can only assume now that there’s a [Dirty] B-side out there somewhere. An 18+ version of the fabled 12:30 flight. An R-rated rendition of wild dogs more than crying out. In the night.