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Jan 30th, 2018 at 8:24:49 am

tcr! · Jan 30, 2018 at 8:24 am

The only logical thing to do in traffic when someone honks at me is to honk back.

They prob want to hang out. Right?

#trafficnews

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Capone house for sale in St. Charles

tcr! · Jan 28, 2018 at 4:06 pm

Rumor has it this was one of Al Capone’s houses. It’s for sale and there was an open house today so I thought I’d have a look for secret rooms. Because I’m me, these are the things I took pictures of.


1- Capone house - front 2- Capone house - toilet 3- Capone house - sump pump 4- Capone house - boiler supply


I didn’t find any escape tunnels but there were gobs of people so I couldn’t be thorough. It did have a safe house apartment above the garage though.

5- Capone house - garage apartment

Address is 1835 S. Fourth Place, St. Charles, Illinois if you’re interested.

#photos #alcapone #realestate

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Holidays come once a year

tcr! · Jan 28, 2018 at 11:30 am

Audio (MP3): 20180128 - Holidays come once a year

Holidays come once a year
In the mid 2000s I made and hung this in our kitchen. Because I’m an asshole.

I never really think (or have thought) about anybody else.

Like if I have four hours of no responsibility I will sit and play video games for four hours. I won’t call anybody, I won’t go see anybody. I’ll just do my own thing.[1] And it’s not like that hate people or whatever. I honestly just don’t think about them when I’m full of me.

Sure, when I was a kid, teenager, 20 something I would call people and wander over to their houses because I wanted to see them. But everything was just based around what I wanted to do. It wasn’t up until a few years ago when I started thinking outside of just “my box.” And trust me I still don’t always think outside of me all the time or by default.

Isolating from other people really kicked in when I got married. I would just hang out with my ex-wife and the girls. My life’s dynamic changed from being single and stealing wheelchairs to being a homebody.[2]

But still even being a husband and a dad, most of what I did at home was centered around me and what I wanted to do. Okay, not all of it but if I didn’t have anything to be responsible for I was off doing my own thing or finding something on TV that I wanted to watch.

Here’s a good example.

After the girls were in bed I never said to my ex-wife, “Let’s watch show X because I know you like that one.” Sure, I would watch her shows but the thing is: it was never my idea. I never said to the girls, “let’s go eat at restaurant X because that’s your mom’s favorite place.”

Fine, it would be my idea if it was Mother’s Day but that’s a bunch of shit. It’s the days that aren’t holidays, the days that aren’t special — those are the ones count.

It was even more horrible when I was drinking. “I’m gonna go get donuts for us this morning.” That was really code for “I’m hungover and going to the liquor store. And after I’ve took 2-3 healthy shots just to mute the fires of hell, I’ll bring back a box of random donuts.”

Brief aside.

Spiritual? Humble? Me? You’d be humble if you were me, too. If you wanted to make breakfast for your family, because you’d changed, because you realized sitting by yourself in “your box” was kinda lonely — and then nobody was home.

No, I’m not coming down on myself or feeling like I fucked everything up. I’ve came to terms with falling down in life. It’s more like after reading Mark Manson’s article[3] on loss I was doing some self-evaluation. It’s good for me to do spot checks on my behaviors lest I go down to the basement in the morning and then come back up when it’s dark. And didn’t even know the sun had came and went.

Maybe it’s just how men are wired, too. Hunting, gathering, and gaming in the basement while the women are nesting and making dinner for the family. I never made dinner for the family when I was married. Well, I used to make pies every Sunday night but it wasn’t because I was making banana cream for us as a family to enjoy. I was making it because I like pies, like making pies, and like eating said pies.

But seriously though.

Sometimes Maggie’s with her mom for the weekend and I’m home alone and then because I’m real good at thinking, I think about stuff. A lot. And again, not in the self-deprecating kinda way but more in the “here’s my part in a series of blundering events and moving forward I’d rather not repeat ye blunderings.”

And yes, life can still be all about me. It’s my life and I have things I want to do, shows I want to watch, ad nauseam but my takeaway after my last great loss is that other people are what counts. Messaging someone, asking if I can come over just to see them, just to hang out, well that gives me a good feeling that finishing the next level in my video game never did. Because I know I’m doing it for them and not for me. Because I want to. Because fellow humans are sacred.

#photos #confessional #relationships #diariespodcast support the show →


  1. Jimi said to me once, “you’re too good at being alone.”

  2. I’m not complaining. Most days I don’t have the energy to go out after dark these days.

  3. I didn’t read it in its entirety because as he said, “it’s a monster of an article.”

5 comments

marney0160 marney0160 · Jan 28, 2018 at 9:11 pm

Wow. Great stuff. I guess I’m guilty of the same thing. So the next time a friend who’s interested in seeing a great home that’s having an Open House says he’ll go whenever I am ready cuz he’s been home hibernating (isolating) all day, I’ll get out of myself and my isolating ways, be intune with the moment and join him. You’re exactly right humans are sacred. Namaste my friend!

tcr! tcr! · Jan 28, 2018 at 9:44 pm

Nah, it’s all good. I totally get the not wanting to do much after work thing. 😊

But we should go the next time they have an open house. And bring your EMF reader thing. There’s got to be something supernatural lurking.

marney0160 marney0160 · Jan 29, 2018 at 5:23 pm

Sounds like a great plan!

tcr! tcr! · Jan 30, 2018 at 3:46 pm

👻👍

tcr! tcr! · Jan 30, 2018 at 5:25 pm

Maggie and I would also like to see your instrument collection.

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Beard trim and head shave

tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 4:57 pm

1 - Hot towel head 2 - Lathering up 3 - Straight razor shave 4 - Beard Balm   The Pirate

Lauren at the Beardsgaard Barbers trimmed my up beard and shaved my head. I’ve never had a hot towel on my head before but it was glorious. She also got me hooked up with some pirate beard balm. I’ll be extra snazzy now!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ five stars of course.

💈✂️👍 #photos #beard

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Filling your life with new

tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 12:37 pm

Filling your life with new

https://markmanson.net/how-to-let-go

I think maybe it’s not so much as establishing a new identity as just finding out who we really are, what we really like, what we really don’t like…and then being able to fully explore all of that. Loss can bring extraordinary amounts of freedom.

And maybe I’m just thinking that because the only real or significant loss I’ve felt is from divorce. Twice.

But I can’t say enough for the joy of finding and cherishing new relationships. Filling the voids kept me from going completely bonkers. 😊

#advancedsoul #relationships

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Repotted the spider plants

tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 11:48 am

Repotting the spiderplants Spider mommas Spider babies

When you decide to repot the spider plants on your dining room table after lunch and also admire the three babies on the kitchen table. 👍

#photos #spiderplant

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Jan 27th, 2018 at 7:58:06 am

tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 7:58 am

What you need to know today:

“Relationships are made on what you don’t leave out.”

#protip

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Pruned the spider plants

tcr! · Jan 26, 2018 at 11:13 pm

Pruned the spider plants Spider babies in cups

And now I got three tea cup a babies.

#photos #spiderplant

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School days in blue

tcr! · Jan 26, 2018 at 4:54 pm

School days in blue

#photos #blueskies

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Cross my toes

tcr! · Jan 26, 2018 at 12:53 pm

Cross my toes

This is how I reply to all the hospital affairs directors.

#email

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But wait!!

I have to tell you about my diaries podcast. Again. Because it’s that good. 🎙 Listen now →