The only thing that’s keeping me going on this drive home right now is knowing that I have half a day old donut waiting for me there.

🍩 🏠 👍 #lettherebehope

Yesterday I pulled up behind a silver car waiting at a stoplight. There was another white car to my right, double parked with the blinkers on.

An older, burly dude was walking slowly down the sidewalk, eyeing the parked white car. I assumed it to be his. I also knew there was no way in hell he’d be able to open his driver’s side door. There wasn’t any room with his double park for him to get in.

I started to feel tense. Totally ready for the stoplight to turn green so this whole situation would go away. I like stuff to go away.

“What the hell you park like that for? This is a no win situation.”

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This is what your car might’ve looked like in the mid 90s because you crashed into a stopped car on a four lane highway because you had road rage and were pissed at yet another car that had cut you off.

I can honestly say that I don’t try to be a better person today because yesterday I simply thought it was a good idea.

#photos #autonews #lettherebehope

When I got to the place where I couldn’t stand myself anymore, where I didn’t want to be the person I’d always been. And not do the same things I’d always done, I can see now that’s when I had reached the breaking point.

The pain of being me had broken my very soul. Fuck.

It wasn’t the drinking, it wasn’t ever the drugs. It was me. It wasn’t the traffic or the other drivers. It wasn’t other people at all. Well, it was some of those people but when that blanket of denial was pulled back just far enough I could see, when a light came on that cast a clarity almost too bright on what I’d been doing to myself nothing ever looked the same again in the days after.

Thinking back to that moment and all the desperate, frantic pain, tortured to tears, completely sober and sick of being myself, that’s when I turned a corner and walked down a path I’d only heard other people talk about.

And that’s when the spiritual revolution began.

No horse blankets.

#photos #alcoholism #lettherebehope

We only have to believe in the fairy tales from our imagination for them to be true.

Scour the earth for signs of hope. Life’s as magical as we want it to be.

#photos #naturerocks #lettherebehope

I’ve thought about this too much at various points…and where I finally ended up with fate and destiny is this:

Life is like a flower bed, just earth, soil, what have you. Sometimes it’s wet with rain and other times it’s warm with sun.

If I do nothing fate takes over and the weeds get out of control. The flowers won’t be healthy and mediocre at best. Nature will do it’s own thing whether I like it or not. And the end of the day when I go to sleep the flower bed will be nothing I want to be a part of.

Because fate is the future we’ve given in to.

However, if I take action, pull the weeds, plant the seeds, keep them watered, give them attention and love then the flowers will grow strong and bloom in triumph.

Because destiny is the future we decide.

#photos #flowers #allislost #lettherebehope #fatedebate

Gas pump: Will you be paying with a credit or debit card?

Me: Credit.

Me pushes “credit card” button and inserts credit card.

Gas pump: Is this a debit or card?

Me: It’s a credit card… 🙄

Me pushes “credit card” button again.

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Sometimes I check my email with dread. It’s so nice to feel the opposite afterward.

Me yesterday:

The website was timing out during upload but I’ve fixed this and also imported all four of your CE spreadsheets.

Client today:

I just made them all active! So exciting!

Thank you again! You are a Prince! ;->

Best way to start the workday, even better that it’s a Friday workday. 🎉

#worknews #lettherebehope

And then there was that one time that Jimi told me “love is an action.”

Another one of those conversations that changed everything.

When two people first meet they feel a certain kind of love, a romantic high that’s unparalleled. We’re on top of the world and nothing can touch us. And then as the relationship goes on that high fades because they always do.

And many a good people have said that the love is gone from their marriage or relationship or whatever. Unfortunately, that’s how love works. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not that we didn’t do something right. It’s because romantic love, in the beginning, is designed to stimulate us into loving action.

“Here’s how good life can be with another.”

Life gives us a golden ticket. If I just put that golden ticket into my pocket it’ll lose its luster. It’ll get crumpled. Love’s an amusement park full of thrills and chills so I need to get my ass out there, run away with a beautiful girl, and ride the rides.

Because If I’m not feeling loving all I need to do is act lovingly.

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So anyways, I don’t know where this quote came from but it’s one of my favorites.

The next time you get driven to your knees to pray, just stay there.

I pray when I’m in pain but mostly I try to pray because I’m okay and want to stay that way. I do my best to stay on my spiritual knees because if I let arrogance or pride or hurt overrule what really matters, I know I’ll be humbled against my will and that’s never fun.

But more than that… I’d rather stay in the sunshine than go sit in the dark. Once wrapped in that warm, peaceful glow sitting in a cold, dark basement doesn’t sound that appealing. I’ve made life bad enough.

Okay, saying “wrapped in that warm, peaceful glow” is fruity. I’m not sitting in a lotus position all day channeling Buddha nor am I walking around on rainbows.

But when I have that cosmonaut bond, I’m okay. And I don’t struggle with the everyday headaches of making lists and tying my shoes.

#photos #candles #lettherebehope