I felt like a fat butt raccoon was laying on me. And then right after I took the first photo another showed up.

#photos #cats

Peeps, I just got off work and the sun is still shining.

People always say to count your lucky stars. Well, there’s one in the sky right now.

I think I’m gonna stop at 7-Eleven on the way home and get a round of Slurpee‘s.

#photos #blueskies #sunsets #forsale

Get the photo print

The scene is my work desk. I see my work phone ring from the corner of my eye. I roll both eyes and pull out one of my EarPods. Pause Amazon Music playing The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey and their sweet jam about “pulling me closer in the backset of your Rover.”

Me:

This is tcr! May I help you?

Caller:

Hi, this is Megan with Jobspring Partners. I see that you’re looking for a lead…

Me:

I’m sorry, I’m not interested.

Caller:

You’re not interested in what?

Me:

Any of this. This WHOLE phone call.

Caller:

Oh…

I hang up my work phone before she can finish that sentence, too. I put my EarPod back in and click play. Closer once again fills me with bliss as Halsey sings to me, “bite that tattoo on your shoulder.”

I used to tell cold call recruiters that we weren’t hiring or that if they’d give me their name and number we’d call them when we were hiring. But with working in IT and with the amount of calls that I get from recruiters looking to pimp out their seasoned and skilled professionals, I don’t even bother being cordial.

I don’t even know why they call me personally. No where on my LinkedIn profile does it say “click here to contact this hiring manager!” If anything it should say, “click here to be shutdown before you finish your bitchin’ sales pitch!”

I write this all down in Notes.app and post because I assume you’re all interested.

Here’s the sweet jam:

#worknews #musicvideos #thechainsmokers

//Our catch block will handle any exceptions that are thrown.

Oh. Is that what catches do?

#devhell

We finally got a star so the Christmas tree is ready for Santa!

🎅🎄👍 #photos #christmas

Using them and/or buying them for home use? I feel like I should have one at home but the only time I’ve ever used one is when…

One of my brothers and I had been up all night drinking and were out in an alley a few blocks from our apartment. So then a fire extinguisher mysteriously appeared. As they often do under such circumstances. We had no choice but to check the integrity of the unit, being all but the junior firemen that we were.

Within minutes the area’s paperboy appeared on his morning route. As if fate.

Have I told this story before?

Anyways, this paperboy must’ve felt like he’d walked into a trap because as soon as his eyes met the extinguisher he was sprinting in the other direction. My brother and I didn’t make eye contact with each other. If a mouse is placed in front of a couple of cats, the cats will give chase. Without hesitation.

Imagine if you will two drunkards, war crying while chasing a paperboy down the street. At 5am with a fire extinguisher. Extinguishing to its maximum potential.

Rest easy, of course he out ran us. Our night was winding down while his day was winding up. I’m not a mean-spirited person either. I see the escapade more as a friendly game of stranger tag. That’s a thing.

The moral of the story: when stars collide and circumstances present themselves, one should seize such good fortune.

Or not. I guess it depends on one’s age.

Also, I probably owe somebody an amends.

#confessional

Think I’ve finally found the perfect companion for the vampire blood!

#photos #vampires #homeimprovement

Sara and I finally watched the latest episode (S08E08) of the Walking Dead last night. It’s really getting on my nerves that Negan’s not dead yet. I mean he’s always strutting around, blow harding about something or another. I would’ve taken him out episodes ago.

From all my video gaming experience I’ve learned that you don’t fuck around with enemies. You see them and then you shoot them.

And then how in the hell did Negan and the Saviors sneak up on Alexandria? Carl and Michonne are just standing around in the dark with their thumbs up their butts and then Negan and his merry crew start knocking on the front gate. Carl’s like “whaaaat?”

And Carl’s still wearing that gauze eyepatch. 🙄

#fail #tv #walkingdead

Let’s go back to Friday, around 4:15 pm.

🙄 #photos #worknews #selfies

Audio (MP3): 20171216 - Sun glows in the mirrors

As I lay here in bed before I get up to make coffee I was enjoying the morning glow.

Sometimes I’ll get just a glimmer of something in life and think, “I want more of that!”

But then I’ll sit around and wait for the universe to give it to me.

And then before I know it the glow is gone and I’m sad that I missed out.

Sure, I’m blessed with many things in life but often times I need to get up and open the curtain if I want to stand in the sunlight.

The sun is coming up, peeps. And it’s shining just for you.

🌞 #photos #sunrise #advancedsoul #diariespodcast