· Jun 6, 2019 at 11:47 am
The function/method MUST return the number of bytes written.
Why? I’m really not sure, but it must be done or it throws errors at you till you die.
· Jan 10, 2019 at 12:46 pm
Being a dork web developer who:
- loves code
- is forced to use WordPress to manage a client’s hideous content
- because the client sends me mangled rich-text emails
- loves the WP theme devs who hard-code sort columns and orders in their PHP
Well, I guess all of that combined makes me want to punch myself in the face.
“I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us — leave us the fuck alone! Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.”
While I’m here, I might suggest you watch this ten minute video of Jackson Pollock. He’s one of the few heroes of mine who I could actually pull of his hair style. The cigarette dangling out of his mouth is most appealing.
And finally, as a note, if you jump off the deep end I’m probably not going to follow you.
· Aug 20, 2018 at 3:16 pm
Writing a valid, functional, and strict MySQL regular expression for latitudes and longitudes is much harder than I thought it would be. Note that I said “MySQL” because they have their own regex engine apparently.
· Jun 28, 2018 at 11:27 am
This is why I hate linking to 3rd party libraries. A website that’s been happily chugging along for years now has a broken contact form. Nobody has been able to submit contact requests for who knows how long because the captcha check fails.
See also: CAPTCHAs are stupid →
· Jan 25, 2018 at 12:42 pm
At 7:56 am I wrote on twitter:
Apparently DreamHost needs to rebuild and restore the world when one of their VPSes goes down.
Yes, I’m cranky when my sites are offline for 12 hours.
The website’s back up and running but I needed to restore the database from one of my backups because DreamHost’s copy hadn’t been updated since yesterday around 1 am and I did mine yesterday at 8:45 pm.
All in all the site was unreachable from yesterday at 9:45 pm until today at 12:15 pm. Central time of course.
This has been the worst failure on their part I’ve seen since signing up in April 2010. Almost 24 hours of downtime is unacceptable.
Not to mention it took their support team 8 hours to reply to the ticket I opened. I finally twitter’ed them last night at 11:45 pm.
If I’m feeling rambunctious I may move the databases somewhere else this weekend. But I just hate doing shit like that anymore.
· Dec 12, 2017 at 2:47 pm
I opened a ticket for a bug in my boss’ code today at 1:20 pm.
POST /searched_addresses — throwing Slim error
Message: SQLSTATE[HY093]: Invalid parameter number: number of bound variables does not match number of tokens
File: /var/app/current/src/Models/SearchedAddressRepository.php Line: 219
Fearless Leader updated the ticket at 2:18 pm.
I’ll fix this, but you should be passing the searched address in the GET /docks endpoint.
I updated it at 2:20 pm.
I was not aware of this.
He told me to use
POST /searched_addresses in the first place, then lets me implement the code, discover bugs, and then file a bug report on its broken functionality before telling me that I should be using
GET /docks instead.
· Nov 21, 2017 at 11:40 am
I often inherit projects that morons have previously worked on. I’m tempted to message their personal email accounts whenever I come across a moronic bug that they created.
The email would contain their bug, a quote from the documentation, and a link.
As an example:
Hello Mr. Moron,
$oral_allergy_symptons_unique = array_unique($oral_allergy_symptons);
Note: Note that array_unique() is not intended to work on multi dimensional arrays.
You wasted over an hour of my time this morning troubleshooting your bullshit.