I just realized that I don’t have to respond to text messages.

#protip

Audio (MP3): 20171120 - I really did paint my couch

Well, not all of it.

And of course it didn’t go completely according to plan. Maggie and I were going to be gone all weekend and I had a time window of about 30 minutes on Friday to do my thing. I wanted to do it in that particular window, too, so the cushions could be drying until I got back home on Sunday afternoon.

When I brought them back in yesterday I wasn’t tickled. There’s a certain elation that I like to feel when a project is done and with the pink cushions I felt none. But I was a smidge hopeful they’d grow on me after I got them back on the couch.

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After being gone most of the weekend, cat needed me to relax and watch some Stranger Things.

#photos #cats #strangerthings

🎨 🛋 💪 #photos #homeimprovement #pinkcouch

Audio (MP3): 20171117 - FREE dismantled treadmill

Guys, there’s a dismantled treadmill on East Side Drive, a little north of Dodson Street here in Geneva, Illinois. I’m assuming it’s free since it’s resting comfortably on the curb.

Whenever I see a treadmill or a stationary bike on the side of the road I think about the soul who drug it out there. The man behind the space-saving but typically heavy machine. The one-time motivated spirit who let go of her dreams of in-home exercise. Wanna talk about walks of shame? That’s one right there. Walking back to your house after publicly abandoning the notion of regular workouts and saved gym membership fees.

I’m no stranger to all of this. My rowing machine is downstairs, folded up in my laundry room. Under an old blanket. In a fitness cocoon if you will. My dreams were more along the lines of hallucinations, too. That I could get my stomach back to when I was a mere twenty-something, drinking sodas and eating donuts without a care in the world.

Anyways, now that I think about the trainer contraption I saw only moments ago, I don’t know exactly what kind of phys-ed machine it was. Remember, it was in pieces. But in any event I’m sure it’ll be there all day. I would’ve taken a picture while driving by but that’s a school zone and the crossing guard was already giving me the evil eye.

Plus, I like to stop in at the 7-11 on State Street at least one morning a week.

#meanwhile #fitness #diariespodcast

Maggie: You can’t wear that shirt in public.

Me: Why? Because of the cat hair and lint? 🤔

Get yours at Strange Vacation →

#photos #fashion

I love Fraiser as much as the next sitcom but I often wonder what it would’ve been like without the laugh track. Sarcastic? Uncomfortable? Awkward? Yes.

#tv #fraiser

Maggie after eating a burrito with scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and tator tots:

I have been touched by the hand of god.

#goodeats #maggie

It’s hard to believe that I got to the point where I cut up mushrooms the night before to eat as a snack at work. 🤔

#photos #snacks #mushrooms

I don’t know about you guys but seeing the word “final” in anything causes my eyes to immediately roll.

#allislost