For sale: 40 life-size Amish figures from Lancaster County Wax Museum

The Amish are a kind, peaceful people.

That being said, let dread’s cold hand grip your spine as you gaze into the soulless eyes of 40 life-size Amish wax models for sale in a Lancaster County Craigslist ad.

Dana DiCicco, who’s selling them, said they didn’t seem “creepy at all” when she was a kid in Pennsylvania Dutch country.

keamoose sent this to me not long ago. It’s too good not to post publicly.

I especially like these three guys:

Jacob, quit being a drama queen about yer hand.

#mannequins

Got these seeds and window cling today from Alt National Park Service!

You remember them — they set up Twitter and Facebook accounts after Trump issued social media gag orders on government agencies:

You can shut down the use of our social media accounts, but you cannot shut down the internet or take control of what we do with our personal time! We only wish to protect and preserve the environment and wildlife for future generations to come.

They still going strong, too:

• www.altnps.org
• store.altnps.org
• twitter.com/altnatparkser
• facebook.com/AltUSNationalParkService/

#photos #bees #naturerocks #goteam

Do you ever think that smoking a cigarette would be a good idea?

I thought so.

#smokersunite

I brought back a 9” × 9” soy grass square from my dad’s yard to put in my yard. This variety is dense and I’m hoping it’ll take over and thicken up my thinning lawn.

#photos #homeimprovement

On Sundays when I don’t have Maggie it usually takes starvation to get me out of the house.

#meanwhile #thestruggleisreal

Sara, Maggie, and I are a few miles outside of Mount Pleasant, Iowa, heading north.

I’m never a fan of leaving the places I’ve spent much of my life and heading back home. My family is on my mind and I always miss them after we leave.

But what’s more is that their memories fade after a few days of being back and settling into my usual routine. That makes me feel even worse.

#photos #sunsets

I could tell a handful of stories about the old St. Joseph Hospital in Ottumwa, Iowa.

As a kid I went there for stitches in my toes and then went there as a teenager for alcoholism in my soul.

Now it’s supposed to be made into upscale apartments or something.

I don’t know if Ottumwa is the right city for deluxe apartments in the sky, though.

#photos #naturewalk

Meanwhile, out behind my dad’s house in Ottumwa the bulldozers are clearing the way for the new Pickwick Early Childhood Center.

Well, they’re much farther along than just “clearing the way” but I liked the sound of that.

#photos #HeavyMachina

This is seriously one of my most favorite places in Monmouth, Illinois. Doesn’t feel like it was three years when we were last here but then again it does.

#photos #literature

She don’t eff around.

#photos #mommaj