☠️ #photos #selfies

Source: instagram.com/p/Bd78-tblOOq/

Source: instagram.com/p/BdS1VxlFkqY/

#machinelearning #forthewin

#photos #donuts 🍩🍩🍩

Do you ever crawl into bed on a Saturday afternoon and think, “this is the life.”

I thought so.

#napsarespiritual

Audio (MP3): 20180202 - Maggie and I talk bacon

I picked Maggie up from her mom’s and on a whim we did a quick, off the cuff podcast in my truck on the way back home.

There’s some background noise but that’s what happens when you’re recording while driving 45 mph. And yes, she was holding the phone and not me. Safety first kids.

Also, neither of us had prepared for this. Spontaneity in all its glory.

#maggie #diariespodcast

Audio (MP3): 20180202 - Here's what happens when you unfriend someone

This showed up on my timeline just a little bit ago.

So Facebook “noticed” I unfriended somebody. I highly doubt if they just “noticed” anything. They KNOW our every move people. They track and follow said movements even when we’re not on their website or using their apps.

These social media overlords go so far as having shadow accounts of people that don’t have real, actual Facebook accounts. Oh yeah, it’s true. Your dead cousin who died back in 1996? Yep, he’s on Facebook but only FB knows this. Well, Instagram knows, too.

So they both know he was your cousin and that you guys went to Guacamole once for Spring Break. That’s what happens when you upload your contact list to Facebook. Don’t ever do that again.

“Noticed” — ha. They make it sound like Wimpy just noticed a hamburger on Tuesday. Facebook don’t just “notice” shit. They prob predicted I was gonna unfriend Sally days before I even considered it. They got their Machine Learning™ that studies who and how often I unfriend people and then use the algorithms to tie it all back to my dead cousin, Vinny.

Next their post says, “This means that they’ll no longer be able to see…” What am I five? I know what the hell happens when I unfriend someone. That’s why I unfriended them.

And then that last sentence, “Don’t worry, we won’t tell them that you’ve unfriended them.”

I’m surprised they didn’t throw in, “but we could.”

Just like when Luiz coulda ripped Blu’s throat out but didn’t…

youtube.com/watch?v=xCHSWEx6iX0

…but he coulda.

And finally, this team should change their name from “The Facebook Help Team” to the “Facebook Hamburger Helper Team” — at least that’d make more sense.

#socialproblems #facebook #diariespodcast

Get your very own in St. Charles on West Main.

They also have the infamous Hamburger with Fries appetizer.

#photos #burritos

Audio (MP3): 20180202 - Communication, off the top of my head

Kidding aside, I mean what I say when I talk and write to people.

I try to be clear when I’m kidding but sometimes they don’t get it. Then I feel bad. Sometimes it’s understood when I’m joking but generally it isn’t with people I don’t know.

I do my best to be honest and direct. When something’s important I try to keep it short and to the point. Getting wordy can and usually does add confusion.

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One time when I was 10 or 11 I spilled grape juice on my white t-shirt before school. So I did what you’re supposed to do and hid it behind my dresser.

#confessional

Happy Friday, peeps, this second of February.

👻 #photos #ghosts