I like to get on the Ferris wheel at least once per season.
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tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 7:59 pm
Engelhardt
· Jun 24, 2019 at 9:14 pm
I guess for her to pick up the bill…but that seems crass.
prokop
· Jun 24, 2019 at 10:43 pm
How was the restaurant?
sara
· Jun 25, 2019 at 6:44 am
It might be my new favorite restaurant. You absolutely must go!!
tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 9:34 am
Day before yesterday I posted…
It seems as if there are almost too many things that we’ll never get over.
We just learn to live with them.
…and I’ve been thinking lots about that whole topic ever since.
Some of you may know this story and some may not.
I was married for a brief era in the mid 90s. My wife at the time was pregnant and she carried our baby the full nine months. When she was due we rushed to the hospital and then something went horribly wrong.
They took Kathy to another room and had me and her family over in some waiting area. I could hear the baby crying and crying. Medical staff was running back-and-forth. A lot of commotion for sure. And then it was over. The baby died 15 minutes or so after she was born.
The loss of a child, the unexpected death of a loved one, traumatic physical injury, those types of pains are things we never get over. They just become part of who we are. Our life stories shape us, define us. We are who we are because of what’s happened while we’ve been alive.
Every time I hear a story about a child dying it almost always makes me sad. It pulls at my heart strings because I can relate. I think about being in that hospital with Kathy in the middle of nowhere Iowa and the emotional earthquake that changed everything. And the aftershocks are still with me not because I haven’t prayed for acceptance or processed my grief. It’s because it’s part of my story now. There’s no getting over it. There was no quick solution for dealing with the flood of feelings that came afterward.
In related news I read once that our parents’ memories can be passed to us genetically. Not like vivid, detailed recollections but more subliminal feelings, maybe subtle intuitions. When I read the article I thought, “fuck… our experiences are literally fused into our DNA.”
My feelings of loss can even resurface unexpectedly when I’m having a great moment with Maggie. I always wanted to be a dad and my first chance was taken away from me. Abruptly. Am I going to get over that? No. Don’t ever ask someone to. Pain of that magnitude will stop when it’s done working you over. My part is just to process and carry on.
Sometimes life works out how we want and sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s never about the outcome. It’s about the experience. It’s the shifts in our soul that offer to make us bigger people. We learn how to love and support each other.
When we look back over our lifetimes they’ll be overflowing with memories. Some good, some great and some bad, and others horrible. That sudden death helped make me be the best dad that I can be for Maggie. I know that it has.
Don’t be quick to discard life defining moments. We need those experiences to build better lives in the here and now.
Keep living, peeps. Keep loving. No matter what. ❤️
tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 9:42 am
The other night Sara and I were watching The Leftovers, season 3 episode 4. Kevin says to Nora something along the lines of getting over her lost kids. And then last night we watched episode 6 and Kevin and his ex-wife Laurie were sharing memories of when they were married.
If you haven’t watched The Leftovers, you’re missing out.
pynn
· Jun 21, 2019 at 4:10 pm
It’s the best show I’ve seen
tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 5:44 pm
Yep, I absolutely love it. Maybe it’s because I felt like I was losing my mind more than once. And then the Pixies playing over and over again, Where is my mind? 😊
pynn
· Jun 21, 2019 at 5:54 pm
Truly the most sophisticated and insightful treatment of grief, loss, and identity ever to appear on the small screen.
elaineorr
· Jun 21, 2019 at 11:07 am
Hugs. Thanks for sharing.
tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 5:46 pm
You are most welcome! Thanks for reading. And for the hug!
Irene
· Jun 23, 2019 at 8:12 am
So very very sorry for your loss! Too many losses in our lives… You are such a beautiful person inside and out and have done a terrific job making Maggie beautiful inside and out! 🤗❤️
tcr!
· Jun 23, 2019 at 8:54 am
Thank you so much!
tcr!
· Jun 19, 2019 at 9:24 am
It seems as if there are almost too many things that we’ll never get over.
We just learn to live with them.
tam.the.terrible
· Jun 19, 2019 at 11:11 am
We just have to try to not let those moments define us!
tcr!
· Jun 19, 2019 at 6:43 pm
Definitely. For me, part of learning how to live with whatever thing means not letting it define who I am on a substantial level. But I can learn from it and maybe be a little bit nicer to the next guy or react a little differently in a similar situation. Fingers crossed 🤞😊
fivewayrack
· Jun 19, 2019 at 1:20 pm
Wise words. I understand that now more than ever.
tcr!
· Jun 19, 2019 at 6:45 pm
For sure! It wasn’t an epiphany that I had myself until only recently in the cosmic scheme of things. 😎
McQuaid
· Jun 19, 2019 at 8:20 pm
Yes! If you can’t accept it, change it. If you can’t change it, let it go.
Hater McGhray
· Jun 19, 2019 at 9:29 pm
There are a few things for sure.
Rich J
· Jun 20, 2019 at 8:50 am
Somethings are harder to let go of than others. It often depends on how deep the roots of the hurt are. Time is the great healer of all wounds.
tcr!
· Jun 21, 2019 at 7:23 am
There’s a lot to be said for patience for sure
tcr!
· Jun 17, 2019 at 9:05 pm
Karly
· Jun 18, 2019 at 8:16 am
Love that game!
tcr!
· Jun 18, 2019 at 8:42 am
It’s pretty fun 😊
Kelly K
· Jun 18, 2019 at 9:49 pm
What is this game you speak of? 🤔
tcr!
· Jun 19, 2019 at 7:40 am
Ticket to Ride: “a cross-country train adventure where players collect cards of various types of train cars that enable them to claim railway routes connecting cities in various countries around the world.” I like it because it’s pretty low-key.
tcr!
· Jun 19, 2019 at 7:40 am
And I like trains 😊
tcr!
· Jun 17, 2019 at 4:46 pm
heylinda
· Jun 17, 2019 at 8:20 pm
No no no and no
jenkins_arts
· Jun 18, 2019 at 7:20 pm
Spiderman, Spiderman does whatever ..
tcr!
· Jun 16, 2019 at 3:43 pm
Maggie painted the following for me…
One of the best things I ever learned was to… love and support people no matter what.
tcr!
· Jun 14, 2019 at 11:02 am
As Dick Solomon once said, “I can’t handle the truth.”
tcr!
· Jun 12, 2019 at 7:46 am
Well, I guess it’s just you and me, god.
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angeline35
What smiles!
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seatreezntrails · Jun 22, 2019 at 9:40 pm
Darling couple!
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I must ride The Zipper tomorrow! I try to as many times as I can in the summer. It is a endangered carnival attraction and will soon be extinct.😞
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