Do you ever wanna say, “fuck this workday” and then turn off your computer and give your nearest co-worker a high-five as you storm out the office door, then slide down the stairwell railing and hop in your car, then drive to Home Goods and get that stainless steel spatula you’ve had your eye on for the last two months, and then stop at the petshop and pick out a pair of award winning pups?
Then get an email alert on your work phone and throw the piece of shit out the passenger window, frisbee style while driving with your knees, the silverly spatula twinkling in your left hand and the fuzzy doggos under your right arm, all the while Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty’s Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around is blaring from your car stereo?
Alcoholics can related to this. I’m not sure if others will…
But one of the things that made it so easy for me to continue drinking was that I never had any real consequences. I never was in jail for more than a day or so, the bank never threatened to take my house. My jobs were always more than supportive and somehow I still have all my fingers and toes.
It’s not that I didn’t think about the consequences. I could think about them all day long, but if it were in my head that I was gonna drink, there was simply no stopping me. I didn’t resist at all. There was no debate, no trying to convince myself it was the wrong thing to do. I never tried to talk myself out of it. All of that internal yammering was too painful and willpower is nonexistent when I’m drinking. It was easier to just give in, give up, quit fighting a fight I’d never win.
“Because drunkenness is like a wet blanket over the fire, a soggy forcefield that keeps the inferno of reality from being real.” Beautifully said. Captures that feeling, that state dead on!
Alcoholics don’t play the tape through by choice. You quit drinking, so at some point you must have actually decided to stop and think before you took a drink. Good choice!!
You have always been an old soul….even when you were young. You had the fortitude and the gift for seeing the outcome of your life if you remained in the direction you were heading. That gift enabled you to make decisions that prevented years of misery…..you never experienced too many bad things from your drinking……”yet”…..when you quit…. I assure you that if you would have kept using for long enough you would have experienced every one of them. I’ve seen people say I came into Alcoholics Anonymous too early, I didn’t suffer enough before I came in I had to go back out and try it again. The big book talks about going out and try and control drinking, it says if you can do it, then go right ahead, cuz you are not one of us. No, definitely not one of us if you can control you’re drinking. I remember an old saying I heard in Alcoholics Anonymous one time. They said I didn’t stop at Alcoholics Anonymous because it was the prettiest house on the street, I stopped because it was the last house on the street. That hit home with me because I tried everything, to be able to continue to drink, as I wanted to prove that it wasn’t the alcohol I had a problem with it was everybody else who was bothering me. You know there’s another saying in Alcoholics Anonymous. At first I took a drink, and then the drink took a drink, and then the drink took me. That’s how I describe my alcoholism. Thank God we don’t have to live that way anymore, is another great saying from alcoholics anonymous that I use quite often. :-)
Happy Sunday, peeps. Try not to overbook. Keep the calendar light. Less things are better. Schedule downtime with your favorite people. Enjoy their company.
We’ll never find a better reason to live than enjoying people’s company. Make them feel extraordinary. Not the whole world, just the ones that count.
Momma J
Hater McGhray
tism
keamoose
heylinda
heather
Add a comment
Post