can you dig it?

i have been to more matinee by myself, with half pint and fortified by a pocketful'o'gorilla tranquilizers, than i can count.

memorably, one time here in the village. i can't remember, but i think i got called off work, so i went to the show, and gulped down a handful a hydrocodone/tramadol/lorazepam. i think i had vodka, and i know i drank it in 2 swigs.
i almost passed out. i slowly slid down in the chair and was aware that the movie was over because the kids were coming by to clean up the popcorn and staring at me.

sadly, there were few if any repercussions and i did the same thing the next time.

i had 'em trained at the theater at the last village. if i was "asleep" at the end of the movie they just let me sleep unless there was another show starting. sometimes they called e. to come get me. i just told her i was tired from working nights all the time. denial is deep and strong.

they never so much as looked at me funny. i was doing well financially at the time and often went to a movie everyday. at least every other day. sometimes i drank terpinhydrate cough syrup and left the bottles in the theater. i think they may have been trying to tell me to stop it because the next time i went the codeine bottles were lying on top of the trash bin, very obviously. keep in mind that these were quite often weekday matinees that i was the only one in attendance.

this one little girl who worked there felt sorry for me and i know i wasn't' the creep or the lech because i asked her to help e. with housework (a paid job) and she was eager to take it. she brought her boyfriend and they loved us. i don't know but i guess we paid 'em well. e. was in charge of the payroll.
the same kid had a broken leg when my rented car wouldn't start so she gave me a jump start. she walked out in the snow on crutches to help me and i tipped her and was always super nice to her. i left reviews and always said she was the best and they should pay her more and stuff.

i'm glad i was decent to her because sometimes when i have been in a blackout i have been known to be the creep with the women. i used to get it in my head that they needed my love. as soon as someone would shove me away i was always able to discern that there was something wrong with her girl parts, and i should go find a one handed magazine.

it's crazy because i'm pathologically shy when sober. i had to be in sobriety and working on my soul to be able to actually appropriately approach and propose something halfway unoffensive to humanity.
imagine a dexedrine laced whiskey aroma coming off a 6ft tall 100 lb white boy with an afro whose idea of foreplay was cooing something romantic like, "you corn hole on the first date? BRACE YOURSELF!"

I think it has a good chance but I don't really see the point.

"While more than fifty percent of current Internet users are in companies or organizations, the number of home users is growing rapidly."

This thing could catch on.

Why do I immediately think of Lucifer from the original Battlestar Galactica?

General observations:

1. the back row women are taller than the men
2. the states-man is holding a pony leg in his right hand
3. the hoe-master is not wearing shoes but tucks in shirt
4. the urine-maid is an albino or a ghost

The B-side only has rubber feet.

Is there a carrot on the B-side?

That sounds pretty cool. Maybe next year, when it's not all cowboys… :)

Sweet! …and on the Tomato label too.

There's always this .. http://windycitypulpandpaper.com/ .. ;-)

The downside is that this year they're featuring cowboys.

"A weird and deadly crew". Weird first, deadly second. Priorities.
I've never really gotten into reading comic books, but I love the art style.

suffice to say that god in her infinite jest will sort 'em out

Bungle in the Jungle by Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull

(methinks Ian cribbed a few lines of Blake)

"Bungle In The Jungle"

Walking through forests of palm tree apartments —-
scoff at the monkeys who live in their dark tents
down by the waterhole —- drunk every Friday —-
eating their nuts —- saving their raisins for Sunday.
Lions and tigers who wait in the shadows —-
they're fast but they're lazy, and sleep in green meadows.

Let's bungle in the jungle —- well, that's all right by me.
I'm a tiger when I want love,
but I'm a snake if we disagree.

Just say a word and the boys will be right there:
with claws at your back to send a chill through the night air.
Is it so frightening to have me at your shoulder?
Thunder and lightning couldn't be bolder.
I'll write on your tombstone, “I thank you for dinner.''
This game that we animals play is a winner.

Let's bungle in the jungle —- well, that's all right by me.
I'm a tiger when I want love,
but I'm a snake if we disagree.

The rivers are full of crocodile nasties
and He who made kittens put snakes in the grass.
He's a lover of life but a player of pawns —-
yes, the King on His sunset lies waiting for dawn
to light up His Jungle
as play is resumed.
The monkeys seem willing to strike up the tune.

The Tyger
BY WILLIAM BLAKE

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

bill o'reilly is the biggest turd fondler in the business. maybe tied for first place with W. that's all.

yeah, the princess was hot!

i've even gone to looking for the official douche bonnet. the contenders usually are on the hat of a man, but women and children aren't exempt.
i'll post potential noms.

I've been saying "douche bonnet in the car now instead of my go-to "fuck tard."

i am pleasantly surprised.