i know what you mean about re-boots. some have been incredibly good: Star Trek, while others have not: et al.
the little girl will always be Heather O’Rourke though. that white blonde hair added to the Spooky Tooth appeal.
Pondering more on the way to work, I think with all my “free-styling” I missed what I was after last night: now that years have passed, feelings aren’t hurt, eyes are a little more open — all she wanted to do was love me and my head was too full of berserk, couldn’t see beyond myself, and I didn’t know how to communicate. In general.
I guess support tickets like these bubble to the surface because I have more ponders to do, maybe some guilt to let go of. I wasn’t a trophy husband by any stretch.
And more importantly: she wasn’t the enemy. Not an easy thing to realize years after the fact.
I could probably blab this to another person and I’m sure I already have. But that doesn’t always work. I seem to need to take my time in this space exploration and writing affords me that. When I’m thinking, writing, yammering I’m able to get to places I can’t in conversation.
I also think I put these out in a semi-public place for peeps to read is because locking them away in my head or on paper feels like I’m keeping secrets. It’s not real unless someone else reads it, even though said peeps probably think it’s boring.