Hi Xxxxxxx,

Can you please confirm that system will de-dupe from bounce-backs in Nov-December

No, the system was not designed to capture the bounces and skip them during future email blasts. I’ve answered similar questions on bounced emails from Xxxx and Xxxxxx both.

I realize there has been confusion about the bounced emails along with what the system tracks and reports and does. With email systems bounced tracking is typically included.

But… the proposals for both Xxxx’s email system and Xxxxxx’s email campaigns had zero mention of providing any functionality related to bounced emails. So the system provides zero support for any that.

I hate to repeat these things over and over again but I would strongly encourage everyone involved to know what the system is capable of. The things it does are what’s in the proposals. If it’s not in the proposal, it doesn’t do them.

I’m starting to feel like I’m constantly the bearer of bad news, that these questions are landing on my desk like I didn’t build enough features into the system. But in reality the system does exactly what Xxxx and Xxxxxx were willing to pay for.

Thanks,
-Xxxxxx

Why do I have to write emails like this?

#worknews #email

Dear local town folk,

I would like to offer my unfiltered thoughts on these two Geneva mailboxes. Mailboxes that live side-by-side in a whimsical Yin and Yang if you will.

I’ve been watching both for the past few weeks on my drive to work. Never my drive home. I’ll only allow this particular neighborhood to know my comings and not my goings. However, I did circle back on my way home yesterday just to snap these postal slot specimens. In broad daylight.

Okay, yesterday was a foggy afternoon but I risked nearly everything to bring you these photos.

The first full-service mailbox is a timely critter sporting the expected carrot nose and candy cane scarf. There’s even a holly brooch on the hat with red berry and all. If I were a mailman I would probably punch this slightly smirking snowman on the third day.

Of course this may very well have to do with my assumed mental health if I were delivering mail in polar-bear temperatures and I had to look at this two-balled Frosty. One. More. Time.

Okay fine, the snowman ornamental is fun. And since I’m not the one delivering Trader Joe’s Fearless Fliers, I like to imagine this snowman living out a long fancied fantasy of riding a headless, armless, legless, mechanical bull. That also receives handfuls of letters.

Now then, onto the second mailbox. While I do love DIY home improvement as much as the next Bob Villa I can’t cosign this work. The ladder component is fine but obviously the mailbox has had too much to drink and passed out sideways.

But wait! Hold everything. Maybe this mailbox was hit with a baseball bat which would then account for its distress. I tried one of those postal home runs way back when I was living out my rebel teenager-ness. Trust me it’s easier than it looks in the movies. If you try it yourself you’ll look like a moron.

Please note: my bat practice was decades ago in a land far from our beloved Fox Valley. Also note: I’m not the Postmaster General either. I was once. But it was a long time ago. And I don’t like to talk about it anymore. To quote Clark Griswold.

Anyways. If I were a mailman in this second scenario I would climb to the top of the ladder and frisbee the letters into the box similar to Linus when he was mailing his letter to The Great Pumpkin. Although I would leave my blanket at home. The make and model of my blanket is only my business.

So if you indeed do work for USPS, if you’re perhaps the real Postmaster General, and would like to schedule the photoshoot of you in said makeshift, aluminum crows nest, please contact me through the usual channels. First-class mail of course.

Again to clarify for the readers who assume I’m looking down on our community when expressing my opinions — I have no judgment on either mailbox. I’m not criticizing or condemning, merely providing commentary on local items of interest. If you’re either homeowner then salut.

Final thought:

Wasn’t Kevin Costner in some future apocalyptic farce where he just wanted to deliver the mail? Who does that?

#photos #holidaycheer #usps

Continued: The mailbox returns →

Audio (MP3): 20180109 - Under Maggie's pillow

And then there was that one time maybe six or seven years ago when I ate a Snickers fun-size and hid the wrapper under Maggie’s pillow.

And then at bedtime when we found it and she was horrified of being convicted of a crime she didn’t commit, after she had time to process and I confessed, she thought it was funny.

And she still does. Because I asked her about it earlier tonight before dinner.

“And you tried to frame me!! 😆”

And when I’m thinking about it now while she’s doing her homework, I think that her mom and I must’ve done something right.

And finally… something I heard or read once always keeps me pointed in the right direction: as parents our job is to make memories for our kids.

#protip #maggie #diariespodcast

Net neutrality gaining steam in state legislatures after FCC repeal

State legislators in Nebraska and California are proposing net neutrality laws to replace the US-wide ones repealed by the Federal Communications Commission.

The FCC repealed its own net neutrality rules and claims the authority to prevent state and local governments from enacting their own similar net neutrality rules.

But a Nebraska bill, introduced by Democratic Sen. Adam Morfeld of Lincoln, would do just that.

I still can’t believe Ajit Pai and the FCC five person crew is trying to assume control of what happens on the Internet for the whole country.

However, I am pleased that good old Durbin from Illinois doesn’t agree.

#netneutrality

Peeps, here’s your Tuesday late 2000 jam. But wait, there’s a whole YouTube playlist for ya. I went down a rabbit hole and couldn’t post just one. Just let them play one after another.

Track listing:

1. Paper Planes by M.I.A. (2007)
2. Sex on Fire by Kings Of Leon (2008)
3. Kids by MGMT (2008)
4. L.E.S Artistes by Santigold (2008)
5. Heads Will Roll by Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2009)
6. Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye (2011)
7. Tongue Tied by Grouplove (2011)

Look at that. I just made you guys a mix tape. And yes, I skipped 2010 but not on purpose.

#musicvideos #playlist

How to Take a Picture of a Stealth Bomber Over the Rose Bowl

The first thought that comes to mind staring at the photograph above is: This has got to be fake. The B-2 stealth bomber looks practically pasted onto the field. The flag is unfurled just so. The angle feels almost impossible, shot directly down from above.

And yet, it’s real, the product of lots of planning, some tricky flying, and the luck of the moment. The photographer, Mark Holtzman, has been flying his Cessna 206 around taking aerial images for years, since before the digital-photography days, and he’s developed his technique for just this sort of shot.

Looks like I need to up my photo game.

#photography

In other news I eat my trail mix from a cup, like if I were drinking it. Because I don’t like to touch trail mix.

🥜 #photos #snacks #thestruggleisreal

If anyone knows of a pirate ship around these parts lemme know.

#photos #weather #forsale

Get the photo print

Every now and then I’ll get hung up on thinking that as soon as I have the right job everything else will fall into place.

Or that as soon as I paint every room in the house then I can relax.

Or maybe when I get the right haircut I’ll be happy.

However, that kind of happiness will never come. If I live a spiritual life then I’ll be happy now. Regardless.

#advancedsoul

Because that’s how we do.

#photos #cookies #trafficnews