What’s up with the branch with leaves on it in your car? 😉

I got it at the second Nightmare on Chicago Street I ever went to up in Elgin. It was laying on the ground in its own crumpled heap of plastic greenery as I was making yet another of my least hasty exits. When I got back to my truck I stuck it into my cigarette lighter outlet thing and it’s lived there ever since… 🌿

WAIT. That’s a lie. It’s not in the cigarette lighter outlet. It’s in the keyhole next to it that controls the airbags!

I didn’t want to run the risk that this garden-variety plastic ivy one would find at your neighborhood Joann’s art and craft store would catch fire.

In related news… One time I put my truck key in the keyhole, hoping it would open the door way to Narnia. But alas there was no such transportation reward. Only shed tears in the salty realization that I would indeed have to go to work. 😢

Thank you for your honesty. My first thought was maybe it was eucalyptus and you had a koala bear. That would be pretty rad. Please know, I do not judge a man’s greenery he keeps in his car.

This thread makes me smile. 😁 Or maybe it’s just my muscle relaxant kicking in. Either way thanks for the laugh guys

My two cents but the koala ain’t a stranger to muscle relaxants.

Look…if you’re gonna feed us interesting tidbits on conversations overheard. You’re gonna hafta stick around for the ending. You’re public depends on you!

MFer, don’t mess with my comfort food after a hard day on a Friday.

Pint can legit, strong work

Are you an author? You should write a book… your stores are so funny and so well written.

I regularly submit my stuff to publishers, etc. but so far nobody’s been interested. 🙄

I loved this!!
We do love our cheese puffs tho..

Literally clicked the comment section just to ask this question. Past few posts I read are the most simplest interactions that can and likely happen daily and you make it interesting to read.

Thank you!

I write more serious stuff, too.

Walgreens is always located at the corner of HAPPY and HEALTHY, not State and “whatever”

I don’t know. I go into the St. Charles’ Walgreens on the corner of Main Street and Sweet Tomatoes a couple times a week and there’s one cashier that’s borderline anti-happy.

Seriously, she asks for my Walgreens Rewards card each and every visit regardless of how many times I’ve said, “Listen shopping gestapo, you’re not tracking how many sodas I buy in the name of steep discounts and customer perks!”

Well, my wit’s not that quick in public or under Freddie’s pressure so that’s what I like to think I’ll say the next time I’m standing in her aisle as she’s questioning the cards in my wallet and reviewing a 3” ecig box with a scrupulous monocle, flipping the box over and over again looking for the 2” barcode.

It’s on the fracking back where 90% of the barcodes in the world are!!!

Ok. First, Henry is my homie. He is so nice.
Next, ecigs are bad news. When you know better, you do better. You have one set of lungs, take care of them.
Finally, I use my bucks on Cheetos 😂

ahrens, you are friggin killing me. 😂🤣

This is LITERALLY the best thing on the internet this weekend.

This is such a deep conversation, right? Love it.

Perhaps Walgreens is not your scene. For all of the times I have entered my rewards number, I have yet to be rewarded. CVS is where it’s at. Once you get over the fact that your receipt is as long as 3 football fields, you realize you win the lotto during every shopping experience. I earn all of these bucks for whatever reason and I just roll with it. Some people are addicted to crack and/or bath salts but CVS is my weakness.

There’s this dude named Henry that works at the CVS close to my house. He’s worked there ever since I moved to my neighborhood back in the 00s. He, too, asks for my CVS card every time I see him. Even if we’re not in CVS. One time I was out feeding homeless children on the upper west side on a sunny Saturday, not unlike today. Henry pulled up, in what I assume to be his blue BMW and Keanu shades, and said, “CVS card…” in his oh so cool Nigerian accent.

I might spring for a CVS card if they sold ecig paraphernalia by the pound but they seem to be anti-nicotine these days. And then they got those midget shopping carts that people still insist on filling up like their at Costco on Randall.

Regardless, the real question is what do you do with all your earned bucks? Do they automagically discount your next receipt when you go in?

That will be me and my husband in 30 years. He already tells me i can’t get more cheese its. I need a cane…

You could probably buy one at Walgreens. If not, Riley Drug (also on State Street and whatever) carries them. I’ve tried their canes out. Clean finish, solid construction, helpful staff.

She’s diabetic and shouldn’t have carbs. He cares about her.

“Nuke the frog. 2 minutes. High”

Considering the number of times I’ve heard Siri and Alexa react to things that weren’t directed at them, this seems problematic.

She tells me fairly often, “I’m sorry I don’t know what went wrong.” This apology also comes unprovoked.

They really should have picked a more unusual combination of sounds for the activation word. “Flizblorp”. “Gzanbo”. “Jikladoon”.

I’m still hoping for Leopold as in “Leopold, turn on the terminator, oh Leopold!”

However, I do think that “Jikladoon, what shall be the weather this day?” has a nice feel to it.

That is a very hard thing to do. Congrats to you sir. :-)

Yep. Dealing with my insecurities was the hard part for me. After that then the search for clues wasn’t important. 😊

You deserve this. Unreasonable Happiness is your birthright. Claim it.

Who’s the critter in the frame?

I believe it to be a praying mantis but usually I don’t know what I’m talking about.

This rings very true for me, as it most likely does for many. Especially those of us who come from a world of using and abusing, there is often more hurt, abuse, betrayal than not. But growing older and learning to trust your partner… that’s actually a way of trusting yourself. And that has been the hardest part for me. Thank you for sharing this. It gives me some things to reflect upon and appreciate today.

> there is often more hurt, abuse, betrayal than not
For sure. There’s a reason why we are the way we are. I also believe that you can trust yoruself. There’s nothing but good inside you. 😊

Truth so beautifully written!

Thank you! 🙌

O.k.

Intetesting. Now I know. OK Origin mid 19th century: probably an abbreviation of orl korrect, humorous form of all correct, popularized as a slogan during President Van Buren’s re-election campaign of 1840; his nickname Old Kinderhook (derived from his birthplace) provided the initials.

Ok

Context….. passive acknowledgment of what someone is telling me? Ok.

Someone asking how I am and me not wanting to go into detail? okay.

OK or ok, but mostly OK.

Okedoke. Or in Flanders speak. Okillydokilly

I prefer the short version

Would that be “O” or “K”? :-)

ok

OK

I use ‘em all from time to time.

However Swype dishes it out… Ok

Short version

Otay*

Okay, if I’m talk texting. Ok or ok otherwise. What do they all mean?

He clearly hasn’t grasped the rule of using the verbiage “sponsored content” or “paid content”

Nope. He’s definitely grasped the concept of the delete button though… 😉

K. Never seen this photo.
Nice.

“Did you see the sign in front of my house?”

“We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what’s Fonzie like?”

“Cool.”

Funny. They don’t stink unless you squish them or mow your lawn 😣

They should call them “will stink ya bugs”

I will say, I will take a stink bug invasion over this damn mosquito take over we have been experiencing. I love how descriptive your dream was 🤣

Thanks! I try not to go outdoors much so I haven’t noticed the mosquitoes. However, I did notice that mosquitoes sounds and awful lot like mojitos.

Conventions are regularly held at my house. It’s a game here…. prizes to those who suck the most.

At first I thought you’d prepared a rocket to take them into outerspace! 🚀

1. They stunk if you squish them
2. There will be a stink bug vs mosquito war before 2020

My bets are on the stink bugs winning the war.

My daughter and I name them. We have conversations with them. Track their whereabouts in the room. Wonder about their activities throughout the day. They become like family. We introduce them the visitors. Oh, that’s Fred and Barney… JoeBob is over there. It’s really quite entertaining. I mean it’s not like they have any intention of leaving. I can pick them up and put them outside but I’m pretty sure they just come right back in. I actually considered marking them at one point to prove it’s the just agreed again, but I was afraid nail polish would kill them. And that’s how we manage our stick bug situation over here.

OMG that’s hilarious. However, based on the sheer volume of Freds wandering around, I say go for it and him with polish. If he dies, Fred2 will be along shortly.

You are fancy!!!!!

Remind me to tell you a story I heard on the radio years ago about someone getting fancy to go to the dr! 😂

is that the one about the glitter hairspray and the gynecologist?

God I hope not.

yes

Very cool.

Thankies 😊

Unreasonable Happiness is your birth right. It’s been credited to me but I heard it somewhere. Sitting with others of my ilk.

I often hear you say that in my head 😊

Thanks for the tip… look forward to listening to on my a.m. drive.

Let me know what you think.

Boy what we do to quit, some of the hardest decisions I have ever made was just that!!! After all the agony the relief is so worth those good choices! Thanks for the reminder 😊

Yep!

Find the NPR This American Life episode about the New York super in the 70s. It’s the wildest thing I’ve ever heard, listened to it a bunch of times over the years

That sounds vaguely familiar! I’ll investigate. 😊

There are bags of acid and assassinations it was epic

You’ve given me reason to live.

Found it! https://www.thisamericanlife.org/323/the-super

Sweet! I’ll put it on now. Hopefully it’ll go with my glitter.

BOOBY TRAPPED LIGHTBULBS

Dammit, you’re getting all sorts of ideas, aren’t you

I definitely want to booby trap something now.

I’ll have to check this one out!

Quitting college=best choice of my life. Quiting certain energy draining jobs…also very good choice. 🤷‍♀️ now I carhop during lunch hours, am available for my family and don’t feel like I’m dying on the inside.

Good for you. Dying on the inside means we ain’t living inside or out.