The scene is Sara’s kitchen table, around 6:15 am.
She asks me how I slept and I tell her okay but that I woke up at 5:45 am even though my alarm was set for 6:05 am. 🙄
My body was obviously tired after getting up with the sun but I don’t get why it didn’t just sleep for another 15 minutes. It had the time. It wasn’t doing anything else.
My body just does its own thing and most of the time it never makes any sense.
We years ago had a beautiful red Cardinal that sat in a tree right outside our bedroom window and started the loudest chirping ever at about 4:00 AM every morning! This was before central air, and our window was open! As beautiful as it was, I never wanted to kill anything more than I did that damn bird! Lol
Life brings me a lot of happiness. Like going to a real estate open house with Maggie just for fun. Or seeing an unexpected cute little flower in my yard. Or eating cherry pie bars with Sara on a normal weeknight.
Most days I remember those are gifts from the cosmos. I only need be my best self and I get all the blessings. God will literally throw shit at me to be happy about.
Here, this is awesome. Take it.
Wait, here’s some more. Take this shit, too.
I got happiness all over me like I’m a clown hit in the face with that very cherry pie.
My eyes will literally tear up from happiness. Grace, peeps.
Then there are times when I’m not feeling the kind of happiness that overwhelms me with gratitude. Some days I feel down right blue. Through and through. That’s just life. It’s not all sunshine and flower petals.
But me being who I am my mind can start looking at those things directly to fill me up. I’ll want to selfishly pick the flowers and make them mine. Hold them tight to make me happy. I forget that those things aren’t the true source of happiness. They’re only gifts.
I won’t be happy for long when I set my eyes on the tangible. My happiness is a gift from god for being my best self.
Since the magazine was a time and money sink and didn’t generate as much interest as I’d hoped, I decided to give book publishing a try. The good news is that people can buy the book on Amazon whereas the magazine they couldn’t.
If the book doesn’t pan out I’m going to abandon the printed world altogether.
I also never fulfilled all the magazine subscriptions so my plan is to send the last subscribers a free copy of the book. All 232 pages!
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