Audio (MP3): 20190406 - FMN

Please enjoy a song I recorded sometime in the late 90s, maybe 1998. Of course I wrote all the lyrics and music and played all the instruments. Because that’s what you do when you’re me.

The additional vocals/voices are messages left on my home answering machine. When those were a thing.

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💗 #photos #sara

So my fancy sport jacket has mud on it. Hard telling what I was doing last time I wore it.

#fashion 🤔

I just called the IRS to see what they were up to this 4th of April. The automated voice told me that the current wait time was between 30-60 minutes but to please stay on the line because my call was very important to them.

I suspicion the Democrats have them all in a tizzy rounding up Trump’s previous tax returns.

I have a tendency to want a fast, definitive answer when I’m nervous and unsure. Even doubly so when I panic.

I look down and back and forth like the answer is somewhere on the floor.

But it’s not. Rubbernecking for a quick answer seems to lock me into a finite way of thinking and fixing whatever’s wrong.

The question isn’t “what should I do?”

The question is “what could I do?”

Asking what I could do opens up doors. It helps me think bigger picture. Keeps my options open and plugs me in to all the cosmos has to offer.

The possibilities are endless when I look up and close my eyes.

Jet overhead, circa June 2008

#advancedsoul #photos #blueskies

After I’ve made a mess of things because I’m nervous I remember the question I was supposed to ask:

Where is god in all of this?

See also:

The wind blows the hardest the closer you get to the mountain top.
–Leland Owlsley

#advancedsoul #protip #photos #flowers #boatmoses

I just turned on my left blinker and the windshield wipers start wiping. There was washer fluid everywhere. I barely made my left turn.

This is why I don’t everything.

#trafficnews #thestruggleisreal

I don’t know how many times I was in a gas station early in the morning, looking for convenience store relief from the fiery hangovers from hell but it was a lot.

Those pills never did a damn thing either… 😉

#photos #alcoholism

I get that people can hurt our feelings. And I also get that we need to tell people that what they’re doing hurts our feelings. And then I also get that often times people will keep on doing those things regardless of what we’ve said.

That’s just par for the life course. Our jobs are simply to speak up for ourselves and then get on with our lives, changing course as needed, and so on.

But what’s frustrating to me is when I wake up and the shit’s still on my mind. That’s the worst.

“Just get over it already” plays on loop in my head.

This really speaks to how I just can’t use formulas to navigate life. I can know all the answers and do all the right things but I still have to feel my feelings.

Happy April Fools!

😊 #anxiety

Since November. So fucking much.

#photos #sunsets