Speaking of delicious pastries: may your workdays be short, may your naps be long, and may your tarts be popped.

#photos #poptarts

Audio (MP3): 20180606 - The geese on Riverside

Every time the geese hold up traffic on Riverside for more than five seconds, 50 cars deep pile up in both directions. I just want to punch them in the face. Every last one. The geese and the cars.

Also: don’t wave to people while they’re out with their dog and the dog is taking a poop. It’ll make them uncomfortable. Both the person and the dog.

#trafficnews #socialgraces #diariespodcast

Audio (MP3): 20180606 - So then I rewrote parts

One time when I was eight or so I was out in the front yard washing my bike with the hose. I especially liked spraying the pedals and watching them spin out of control. My bikes have been near and dear to me ever since I learned how to ride and I took great pride in washing this one since it was my first main bike.

My oldest brother, who is eight years older, came home during my wash cycle with a carload of his friends. They were all teenagers and way cool in their rock band t-shirts and long hair.

I always wanted to be around them but that never happened much during the Allison Avenue era. I was still playing with my Star Wars guys and they out were out driving around, smoking cigarettes, and whatever. But just having an older brother part of the fight club was good enough to make me feel part of something cool.

While my six foot tall brother was walking up the driveway he said to me and my bike, “you can’t polish a turd.”

Nice 🙄

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Dietitians: how long can Pop-Tarts sit out unwrapped before they lose their nutritional value? I’m thinking at least 24 hours.

Maggie left one on her desk and I think it’s still good.

🤔 #poptarts

#photos #cats #napsarespiritual

Audio (MP3): 20180605 - One particular night in Wyoming

And then there was that one time in 2006 when my brother and I drove halfway across the country in a U-Haul the size of Montana, pulling the Kia on a trailer. We were on an epic journey, moving from the state of Oregon to the state of Illinois.

One particular night in Wyoming we were ready to call it good for the day, might’ve been around 11:30 pm. My brother insisted we get off on the next exit and look for a hotel. He was ready to get his drink on and that didn’t sound half bad to me either.

We found a “hotel two blocks away” sign and headed in that direction. When we got there I slowed way down to scope out the lodging grounds. The motel was less than desirable. The sign was only a quarter lit, the parking lot crumbling, there were air conditions hanging out of the windows. And one of the room doors was open.

My brother said to me, “Hell son, yer bed probably already warm for ya.”

“Fuuuck no” I said as I eased the gas pedal down and we rolled past whatever Deliverance Inn we’d came across. Last thing I want is for somebody to be watching TV when I get into my hotel room.

PS- I don’t remember where we were when I took the photo shown. I think Nebraska. Maybe not. I think I was all done taking pictures by then.

#photos #HickvilleUSA #diariespodcast

In other work related news, there’s an office in my building that has a long window that’s at an odd level. I enjoy waving to them as I make my regular building rounds.

I kinda feel like your happy neighborhood shark when I do. 🦈 👋

#photos #worknews

So I found this website on the internet:
— getmyfbifile.com/form.php

Have you guys got your file?

#legalnews #desperatelyseekingsusan

I’m gonna make a sign for the public work restroom that says…

Who do I have to blow to get some paper towels?

#publicrestroom

Monsanto to ditch its infamous name after sale to Bayer

Friends of the Earth has run a long campaign to try to prevent the takeover, which it warned would “increase control over farmers and cut out competitors, and allow it to become the dominant ‘Facebook of farming’.”

In May, dozens of people demonstrated against the takeover outside Bayer’s AGM in Bonn.

“This merger will create the world’s biggest and most powerful agribusiness corporation, which will try to force its genetically modified seeds and toxic pesticides into our food and countryside,” Bebb said. “The coming together of these two is a marriage made in hell – bad for farmers, bad for consumers and bad for our countryside.”

Bayer won approval for the takeover from US and European regulators after agreeing to sell $9bn worth of assets to reduce the combined companies’ dominance of the global seeds market.

“The acquisition of Monsanto is a strategic milestone in strengthening our portfolio of leading businesses in health and nutrition,” Baumann said. “We will double the size of our agriculture business and create a leading innovation engine in agriculture, positioning us to better serve our customers and unlock the long-term growth potential in the sector.”

Now we get GMO foodies and patented seeds worldwide, kids!

#corporatedollars #monsanto