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tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 7:41 pm
Kitchen consider your ass scrubbed.
Well the dishes are done anyway. I don’t mind washing dishes and often think I could’ve been happy as Tony Danza in Connecticut.
And so there I was thinking about Kathy as I was scrubbing the plates. Thinking that we’d probably have gotten along a lot better if I was the person then that I am now. Heck, I think was only 24 when we first got married and didn’t know my ass from a hubcap.
I’m definitely not saying that I would trade what I have now for any of that — qualifying that more for me than for you — and believe me when I say that we were both young and dumb and full of ourselves.
But I wonder about her now and then, she was my wife at one time after all, my compadre. I haven’t talked to her in probably close to 20 years. I did look her up once on Facebook a while back and I’m grateful now that Zuckerberg kept that profile private.
That’s one thing about getting older — I ponder on my own past lives as well. I’m not a big talker and generally feel like I have a mild case of social, awkward, anxiety, pretentious dementia but I think a lot.
All owls think a lot.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 10:37 pm
tcr!
· Feb 3, 2015 at 10:20 am
Pondering more on the way to work, I think with all my “free-styling” I missed what I was after last night: now that years have passed, feelings aren’t hurt, eyes are a little more open — all she wanted to do was love me and my head was too full of berserk, couldn’t see beyond myself, and I didn’t know how to communicate. In general.
I guess support tickets like these bubble to the surface because I have more ponders to do, maybe some guilt to let go of. I wasn’t a trophy husband by any stretch.
And more importantly: she wasn’t the enemy. Not an easy thing to realize years after the fact.
I could probably blab this to another person and I’m sure I already have. But that doesn’t always work. I seem to need to take my time in this space exploration and writing affords me that. When I’m thinking, writing, yammering I’m able to get to places I can’t in conversation.
I also think I put these out in a semi-public place for peeps to read is because locking them away in my head or on paper feels like I’m keeping secrets. It’s not real unless someone else reads it, even though said peeps probably think it’s boring.
tcr!
· Feb 3, 2015 at 11:13 am
Final thought: arriving at the acceptance depot can be all the closure one needs.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 2:33 pm
We have known about orchid mantises for more than 100 years. Famous naturalists such as Alfred Russell Wallace have speculated about their extraordinary appearance. Eschewing the drab green or brown of most mantises, the orchid mantis is resplendent in white and pink. The upper parts of its legs are greatly flattened and are heart-shaped, looking uncannily like petals. On a leaf it would be highly conspicuous—but when sitting on a flower, it is extremely hard to see. In photos, the mantis is often shown in or next to a flower, challenging the reader to spot it.
Generally we get two or three in the yard over the summer but none as pretty as this.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 1:30 pm
I really need to fix the RSS feeds bug that makes the current feed show as new articles all over again at the turn of the month. 😞
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 7:47 am
“Seinfeld Wars” by Julie Bell via Steve Woolf & The Hollywood Reporter
I would think that I’d love this but for some reason it makes me uncomfortable.
jimi hindrance experience
· Feb 2, 2015 at 8:06 am
i won’t go all the way to uncomfortable but it’s missing something or more likely has too much of a feel in the wrong direction
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 3:59 pm
It seems to me that Jerry’s got this little pelvic thrust going on. And in my mind Jerry should never a pelvic anything. And then Kramer has this little neck crook. And every time I look at it, he twitches like an insect that’s about ready to eat my eye lashes.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 4:05 pm
George definitely looks like he’s giving thumbs-up because he just went potty #2 and even though he just pooped in R2 and shut the lid, I’m all like “whatever” in my mind because Newman’s up there and he’s just smiling at me and all my emotional confusion and torment.
tcr!
· Feb 1, 2015 at 5:44 pm
I guess the NBC website took their ball and went home. :-(
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 8:09 am
Also read this last night during “the big game”
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/01/the-nfl-wants-you-to-think-these-things-are-illegal/
tcr!
· Feb 1, 2015 at 12:40 pm
Of all the stars I count as lucky, one I’m particularly fond of is the “not expecting or needing or wanting anything from anybody” in that neurotic fucked kinda way. I’m not crying because I didn’t get a call, a look, a “like”, a whatever.
That’s not to say that I’m not disappointed with people sometimes but overall my happiness, my well-being is not tied to you. Soul independence, it’s a beautiful, liberating kinda thing.
I just want to enjoy the company of my fellow humans, bond with the kindred spirits, cherish whatever time I have with you in the cosmic here and now.
jimi hindrance experience
· Feb 2, 2015 at 2:50 am
i know what you mean but only by glimpses. i can talk and/or fake a good game but the truth is that i get my feelings hurt plenty by people that i expect “more” from. more than they’re capable of sometimes, but also more than they’re willing to give. be it a call or a look or like.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 7:42 am
jimi hindrance experience
· Feb 2, 2015 at 8:07 am
i don’t recognize Swanson and I feel like i should.
tcr!
· Feb 2, 2015 at 8:15 am
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Swanson
I have little interest in hunting, meat, and/or whiskey but I do enjoy his simplistic and straight forward demeanor. I think to truly grasp his greatness, one needs to follow his character throughout the whole series.
tcr!
· Jan 31, 2015 at 8:04 pm
Moon was great. X 4 bed. Have night ritual i spose-try 2 keep it freestyle but certain absolutes: sugar check, insulin, journal n one form or another, random prayer with stillness, random reading from random book-open it up read b still then nice relax CD, i like 2nites so sharing of read sometimes factors n: We r travelers on a cosmic journey-stardust swirling & dancing n the eddies & whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. But expressions of life r ephemeral, momentary, transient. Guatama Buddha one said-This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds. 2 watch birth & death of beings is like looking @ the movements of a dance. A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky-rushing by like a torrent down a steep mountain…
jimi hindrance experience
· Feb 2, 2015 at 2:54 am
word up from the phatness that was siddhartha
jimi hindrance experience
· Feb 2, 2015 at 2:54 am
was/is, in keeping with the faith
tcr!
· Jan 31, 2015 at 5:11 pm
Just watched Daniel Craig as Bond n Casino Royale again-Chris Cornel sing theme 2 it-pretty good but not like White & Keys theme 4 Quantum of Solace-what i do like @ end of this one it play original bond song @ end with that double pick surfer guitar-dandy. Gonna watch MOON now. Friend @ library said it bizzare & weird so I’d probly like it :-D
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