I hate it when I’m walking down the work hallway and I hear another office door open. Can’t I just walk down the hall alone, with peace and quiet?
Now matter how much I try to avoid people, some random body shows up and says, “hello.” And then I have to quickly scan the mental rolodex for non-offensive chit-chat. Engage in dialogue that obviously won’t last more than 15 seconds.
It’s not that I don’t like the other office building inhabitants but on a quick stroll to the restroom, there’s only so many steps to take. I’d rather walk in silence than blurt out, “How ‘bout this weather?” ..or.. “Tomorrow’s Friday!”
Of course I could pause and launch into mild outrage about (insert any poetic injustice here) but then I’d feel it socially correct to stop walking. And that in turn would invite the random body into a full blown conversation. The horror. Sure, full blown gabfests are fine but not when I’m on my way to the potty.
Maybe I should write some socially-irregular chit-chats on index cards for future use. Not ones that will have random body think I’m a boob or psycho anything because I do care what people think of me. But more like one or two-liners that will (hopefully) instill an off-balanced curiosity in the random body.
Something like these perhaps:
I had some really amazing blueberry jelly last night. So good.
With my new shoes, I’ll run faster after they’re broken in.
The Queen is kinda over-appreciated. Maybe I just don’t know her.
One time I was rinsing my coffee cup and a colleague approached to use the coffee machine. He decided to pass the time by asking me what my favourite band was. I told the truth. He got through the conversation, but I don’t think he ever asked me anything again.
It was something like:
“Helhorse”
“Helhorse?”
“Yeah”
“What kind of music do they play?”
“Danish metal”
“Oh, yes… the Viking metal…”
I have to give him credit for hanging in there. He’s 65 and listens to Adele and Glen Campbell, he basically had no clue what I was talking about. Nice guy though :)
I loved Rhinestone Cowboy as a kid. It was a huge hit at the airport skating rink when I was a kid. Maybe you could talk to your Hellhorse connection and see if they can put it on their set list. π€
Peeps, here’s your youre-not-the-only-one Thursday jam. I may have posted this before but it’s still THAT good. Still as good when I bought the album a couple of years ago. The vocals remind me a little of Portishead but that’s okay. I’m totally into that whispery somber some mornings.
Described as dream-pop/indie-electro band their sound consists of dreamy electronics with melodic vocals, distant saxophones and clean reverberated guitars. Vök is easily placed in the realm of indie-electro, thus resulting in everyone from The Knife and The xx to Poliça and Phantogram, but their music is distinctly their own.
So we all know that our phones are a huge part of our lives. We take them pretty much every where. They say that they’re generally the first thing we look at in the morning and the last thing we look at before going to sleep.
However, I’ve came across a situation where another’s phone usage has me bepuzzled and I wanted to get the worldly consensus. Yes, I realize that virtually all people will be looking at this post on their phones, and yes, that may skew the results but I acknowledge this and will persist.
You had me at Batman. I am not sure how it is in men’s rooms, I am not a shy person, but I would not ask. It’s almost as if you are in a privacy bubble when you are in a closed stall. I would be able to ask for tissue of course, not that I don’t check first to be certain. If your curiosity is insatiable, the worse that could happen is Gary/Terry/Batman telling you to mind your own beeswax. All this being said if someone tried to make eye contact through the crack in the door, I am not above yelling at them to take a picture, but I digress.
I know! I spent like an hour yesterday searching for a Batman named “Gary” on Wikipedia.
Subconsciously I was probably thinking that he looked like a Gary though. Manly type that does what he wants. When he wants. Most likely a car salesman.
“You’re going to buy this car or else I’ll throw you in the trunk and then you’ll realize how dumb you are, laying in a trunk, with no car, like a moron.”
In related news… I was practicing reading my podcast last night at the dinner table while Maggie was doing her homework. Every time I said “Gary” her eyes would roll. There came a point when all parties agreed I should read quietly to myself.
Funny, the only Gary I know is a tall, thin, 60-ish civil engineer with a ponytail who bikes to work and runs marathons. I also had a high school physics teacher with a small mustache and elbow patches named Geary (pronounced Gary). He erased the chalkboard row by row, walking all the way across like a dot matrix printer. So I guess, we have very different images of “Gary-ism”.
I’m concerned about Maggie having eyestrain after all those Gary’s. Did she eventually have to lay down with a cool wet washcloth over her eyes?
Yes, it would, though I don’t know why a millionaire crimefighter would reply to an ad on Craigslist. You’d likely get a lot more replies from guys sitting in their parents’ basements wearing plastic capes than from genuine Batmen. Batmans?
I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I preferred “batmen” over “batmans”, but I think that’s it.
I’ve also been advised by tism that “batsman” is right out, as it’s a cricket term… the plural of which is “batsmen”. I’m unreasonably annoyed by “batsmen”; it’s like some kind of double plural. Like there should be at least 3 or 4 of them.
The Trailer Park Boys star, who played Jim Lahey on the show and is also known for his work on the Syfy series Haven, died after suffering an unknown illness, his daughter and co-star, Sarah, announced in a statement via social media on Monday.
“With heavy and broken hearts the family of John F. Dunsworth would like to let people know that our amazing husband, father and grandfather John Dunsworth has passed away,” the family statement read. “John left this world peacefully after a short and unexpected illness. The family would like to request that our privacy is respected in our time of grief.”
keamoose · Oct 19, 2017 at 1:26 pm
One time I was rinsing my coffee cup and a colleague approached to use the coffee machine. He decided to pass the time by asking me what my favourite band was. I told the truth. He got through the conversation, but I don’t think he ever asked me anything again.
tcr! · Oct 19, 2017 at 3:47 pm
That’s awesome! “I’m totally down with Hellhorse!!” π΄π€
keamoose · Oct 19, 2017 at 4:34 pm
It was something like:
“Helhorse”
“Helhorse?”
“Yeah”
“What kind of music do they play?”
“Danish metal”
“Oh, yes… the Viking metal…”
I have to give him credit for hanging in there. He’s 65 and listens to Adele and Glen Campbell, he basically had no clue what I was talking about. Nice guy though :)
tcr! · Oct 20, 2017 at 7:41 am
I loved Rhinestone Cowboy as a kid. It was a huge hit at the airport skating rink when I was a kid. Maybe you could talk to your Hellhorse connection and see if they can put it on their set list. π€
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