After being gone most of the weekend, cat needed me to relax and watch some Stranger Things.

#photos #cats #strangerthings

🎨 🛋 💪 #photos #homeimprovement #pinkcouch

Audio (MP3): 20171117 - FREE dismantled treadmill

Guys, there’s a dismantled treadmill on East Side Drive, a little north of Dodson Street here in Geneva, Illinois. I’m assuming it’s free since it’s resting comfortably on the curb.

Whenever I see a treadmill or a stationary bike on the side of the road I think about the soul who drug it out there. The man behind the space-saving but typically heavy machine. The one-time motivated spirit who let go of her dreams of in-home exercise. Wanna talk about walks of shame? That’s one right there. Walking back to your house after publicly abandoning the notion of regular workouts and saved gym membership fees.

I’m no stranger to all of this. My rowing machine is downstairs, folded up in my laundry room. Under an old blanket. In a fitness cocoon if you will. My dreams were more along the lines of hallucinations, too. That I could get my stomach back to when I was a mere twenty-something, drinking sodas and eating donuts without a care in the world.

Anyways, now that I think about the trainer contraption I saw only moments ago, I don’t know exactly what kind of phys-ed machine it was. Remember, it was in pieces. But in any event I’m sure it’ll be there all day. I would’ve taken a picture while driving by but that’s a school zone and the crossing guard was already giving me the evil eye.

Plus, I like to stop in at the 7-11 on State Street at least one morning a week.

#meanwhile #fitness #diariespodcast

Maggie: You can’t wear that shirt in public.

Me: Why? Because of the cat hair and lint? 🤔

Get yours at Strange Vacation →

#photos #fashion

I love Fraiser as much as the next sitcom but I often wonder what it would’ve been like without the laugh track. Sarcastic? Uncomfortable? Awkward? Yes.

#tv #fraiser

Maggie after eating a burrito with scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and tator tots:

I have been touched by the hand of god.

#goodeats #maggie

It’s hard to believe that I got to the point where I cut up mushrooms the night before to eat as a snack at work. 🤔

#photos #snacks #mushrooms

I don’t know about you guys but seeing the word “final” in anything causes my eyes to immediately roll.

#allislost

Audio (MP3): 20171115 - Potato eyes, to eat or not to eat

Peeps, I may have asked this before and I may not have. Either way I swung I’m going to ask again.

When dealing with potatoes do you cutout their little eyeballs out or do you ignore them and chow down?

I have to scrub them off myself and if they don’t scrub off I carve them out. Furthermore, if said taters are looking even the slightest bit feisty (and I’m feeling a little neurotic myself), I throw them in the microwave and nuke their starchy, tuberous asses with some electromagnetic radiation. Just like Spencer and his candy bar in the 1940s.

Sure, I can look to WikiLeaks for the answer in how digestible the potato eyes are but I like to have real-time answers from you, my peer group. I’m not really interested in what the Clintons do with their’s or that Ralph Nader listens to soft core, country rap while eating his mashes.

Anyways, as a kid I was trained there were somethings you just don’t eat. Like raw cookie dough. Or cake batter. Or potato eyeballs.

So are these still valid concerns in this modern dietary age? I don’t wanna get salamejitus.

Nobody really does.

And yes, I made the video on my iPhone.

🥔 👁 ⁉️ #videos #culinaryhero #helpwanted #diariespodcast

I’m not knocking this guy’s stuff because he was following convention for this project but seriously. This is an actual object method name I just ran across:

$dm_advertisements->GetClickThroughDataForNewsletterEntriesWithAdvertisementForNewsletterEmailBlasts();

If it were me, I’d have named it:

$advertisements_dm->get_clickthroughs_for_emailed_newsletter_entries();

Readability for the win.

#devhell