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The direct communication formula

tcr! · Apr 26, 2019 at 9:00 am

Driving to work this morning I was letting my minder wander, just absentmindedly thinking about stuff. As I do. And today I was thinking that I used to drop a lot of hints. Boxes of styrofoam peanuts without anything tangible inside.

I’m going to go out on a limb here: dropping hints doesn’t work. After decades of experimentation I finally gave up. Believe me, I tried and tried to get people to read between the lines. And then more often than not I was only left wrongfully hurt because they couldn’t figure out what I was saying or what I was after.

Me with poofy hair, circa December 2000
Me with poofy hair, circa December 2000

I’m going to go out on another limb: being clear, concise, and direct in asking for what I want does work. Doing that removes any ambiguity. The other person just knows what I’m saying without having to do any guesswork.

And that’s how you both win. ❤️

Because people love candidness. People love confidence. People love honesty.

I’m not saying that being direct is easy for someone like me. I’m not naturally assertive. But when I walk a spiritual path it all becomes easier. Because I do deserve nice things regardless of what my dysfunctional parts tell me. The hardest part is just figuring out what I do actually want.

Wait. There’s more.

The real beauty of this direct communication formula is that when other people clearly tell me what they want I, too, can listen and give them those very things. I don’t have to solve any riddles.

And that’s how you both win again. ❤️

It does take some legwork on my end to figure out how I’m going to give someone what their heart desires but really it’s not that hard. I just pay attention to what people say and then let the cosmos show me how. Let the heavens guide my words, my hands, and my heart.

And all of this coming from a non-talking, non-feeling, non-trusting nutcase. 😉

#relationships #nicethings

3 comments

Mitchell · Apr 26, 2019 at 11:00 pm

I’m laughing cuz it’s an old photo

tcr! tcr! · Apr 27, 2019 at 8:45 am

All good 😊

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Dano · Apr 29, 2019 at 8:40 pm

Couldn’t agree more. 🙏🏻

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I don’t deserve nice things

tcr! · Oct 9, 2018 at 9:52 am

Audio (MP3): 20181009 - I don't deserve nice things

Worm in the street

Some time over the weekend I had a dream that it was Wednesday after work and the robot vacuum hadn’t done his scheduled cleaning. And then I was crushed and frustrated, defeated and agitated, almost to the brink of tears.

Another substantiated claim that I don’t deserve nice things.

It was worse when I was drinking, that train of thought. I’d like to say it surprises me that I still have that thought but it doesn’t.

Really though it’s not about deserving as much as “can’t have nice things.” Because I’ll put myself in impossible situations. Where I’ll never win.

It’s a dysfunctional pattern carried from when I was a teenager or something. Which leads into the struggles of a life inherited. From a previous life. More realistically it’s probably from my genetics. Family of origin stuff, a television spin off.

Desperately pleading that things would get better. But they won’t. They can’t. I stay in those situations because I’ve dug a hole. It’s pretty much impossible to get out. I don’t know how to do anything else.

And we don’t find nice things in holes. They don’t have them.

After spending over a decade in a hole it becomes familiar and comfortable. I can distract myself with my imagination, satisfy myself with make-believe. I can put a nice rug here and maybe a lamp over there.

Sometimes I strive and strain to climb out. But it just doesn’t work. And then I give up. Yet again. It’s easier just to give up, accept that everything’s terrible. Because this is just how it’s going to be.

Obviously I don’t feel spiritual every day. And then I flounder around for a day or two. Maybe a week. Read a spiritual book. Go to a meeting. Hear something that puts me back on track. Points me again in the right direction.

How I feel is not who I am.

God’s got a bigger plan. Maybe I’m not supposed to have nice things right now.

Keep the faith, peeps. Let go absolutely.

#allislost #advancedsoul #diariespodcast #nicethings

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Robot vacuum eating the rug

tcr! · May 25, 2018 at 4:25 pm

Robot vacuum eating the rug

This is why I can’t have nice things.

#photos #robotvacuum #nicethings

3 comments

tism tism · May 25, 2018 at 4:39 pm

“He’s a Roomba and he’ll never ever be any good” The Crystals

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elongdo · May 25, 2018 at 7:25 pm

That label is not going to improve his attitude

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heather heather · May 25, 2018 at 9:31 pm

Damn that roomba!

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May 7th, 2018 at 6:29:18 pm

tcr! · May 7, 2018 at 6:29 pm

I’m driving. It’s a little past rush-hour and I see another driver eating a donut. Why can’t I have nice things?

#trafficnews #donuts #nicethings

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Brushing my teeth while driving

tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 3:18 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180416 - Brushing my teeth while driving

Tooth brush and steering wheel

I think what annoys me most about driving on Randall Road is that the speed limit is 45 mph but with the sheer amount of daytime traffic and number of stoplights by the Commons, I never get to actually go 45.

See, if I can just get around these other cars I can enjoy the Road Warrior speeds as posted by the Illinois Department of Transportation. Or whoever makes up the speed limits. But no, I’m stuck not even going half that.

Like when I’m waiting behind the lady in Walgreens on State Street who’s fighting with the cashier about which M&M varieties are buy-one, get-one free.

No wait, it’s more like when I turned into the pasta aisle at Super Target on the east side of St. Charles to grab a jar of Newman’s Own Marinara but then there’s this dude and his cart blocking ALL THE SAUCES as he tries to pick out which Bertolli to buy. Just get the Tomato & Basil and let people move on with their lives.

I can see my favorite red sauce. There on the other side of his cart. It’s almost within my grasp but I just can’t quite get to it. But it’s right there. Just a few feet away.

But no, I don’t get to have my non-chunky pasta sauce nor do I get to drive the maximum speed limit on this north-south county highway. Because I can’t have nice things.

And yes, lady driving next to me: I am brushing my teeth while driving. I’m on my way to the dentist.

#photos #nicethings #trafficnews #randallroad #diariespodcast

4 comments

myrna · Apr 16, 2018 at 7:39 pm

You’re a good brusher! 😉

tcr! tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 7:57 pm

I do my best 😊

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klaurindabrey · Apr 16, 2018 at 8:09 pm

I do it all the time bro!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 9:14 pm

Haha! Ok good. 😊

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Again, this is why I can’t have nice things

tcr! · May 20, 2017 at 10:29 am

Again this is why I cant have nice things

#photos #cats #nicethings

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Wilted and watery baby spinach

tcr! · Sep 12, 2016 at 10:03 pm

Wilted and watery baby spinach

My baby spinach looks like this two days after opening the bag every time. Why can’t I have nice things? I go to work most days, I give cat cheeses when I’m having some. I paid my taxes one time… 🙄

#photos #spinach #nicethings

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Cat tearing up the rug

tcr! · Mar 21, 2016 at 9:41 pm

Cat tearing up the rug

This is why I can’t have nice things.

#photos #cats #nicethings

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