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The direct communication formula

tcr! · Apr 26, 2019 at 9:00 am

Driving to work this morning I was letting my minder wander, just absentmindedly thinking about stuff. As I do. And today I was thinking that I used to drop a lot of hints. Boxes of styrofoam peanuts without anything tangible inside.

I’m going to go out on a limb here: dropping hints doesn’t work. After decades of experimentation I finally gave up. Believe me, I tried and tried to get people to read between the lines. And then more often than not I was only left wrongfully hurt because they couldn’t figure out what I was saying or what I was after.

Me with poofy hair, circa December 2000
Me with poofy hair, circa December 2000

I’m going to go out on another limb: being clear, concise, and direct in asking for what I want does work. Doing that removes any ambiguity. The other person just knows what I’m saying without having to do any guesswork.

And that’s how you both win. ❤️

Because people love candidness. People love confidence. People love honesty.

I’m not saying that being direct is easy for someone like me. I’m not naturally assertive. But when I walk a spiritual path it all becomes easier. Because I do deserve nice things regardless of what my dysfunctional parts tell me. The hardest part is just figuring out what I do actually want.

Wait. There’s more.

The real beauty of this direct communication formula is that when other people clearly tell me what they want I, too, can listen and give them those very things. I don’t have to solve any riddles.

And that’s how you both win again. ❤️

It does take some legwork on my end to figure out how I’m going to give someone what their heart desires but really it’s not that hard. I just pay attention to what people say and then let the cosmos show me how. Let the heavens guide my words, my hands, and my heart.

And all of this coming from a non-talking, non-feeling, non-trusting nutcase. 😉

#relationships #nicethings

Mitchell · Apr 26, 2019 at 11:00 pm

I’m laughing cuz it’s an old photo

tcr! tcr! · Apr 27, 2019 at 8:45 am

All good 😊

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Dano · Apr 29, 2019 at 8:40 pm

Couldn’t agree more. 🙏🏻

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