I’ve thought about this too much at various points…and where I finally ended up with fate and destiny is this:

Life is like a flower bed, just earth, soil, what have you. Sometimes it’s wet with rain and other times it’s warm with sun.

If I do nothing fate takes over and the weeds get out of control. The flowers won’t be healthy and mediocre at best. Nature will do it’s own thing whether I like it or not. And the end of the day when I go to sleep the flower bed will be nothing I want to be a part of.

Because fate is the future we’ve given in to.

However, if I take action, pull the weeds, plant the seeds, keep them watered, give them attention and love then the flowers will grow strong and bloom in triumph.

Because destiny is the future we decide.

#photos #flowers #allislost #lettherebehope #fatedebate

Audio (MP3): 20180725 - In this icecapade parade (or life became balanced)

Video (MP4): 20180725 - In this icecapade parade (or life became balanced)

Wherein fate is for people who have given up, part 3 of 3.

I’m going to jump right in because this story is already long enough in my head. And it’s taken far too long to write. I’ve grown weary of fate and all that it doesn’t have to offer. I’m ready for closure.

So there’s this lady I kinda work with, helping with a project of hers. I get the feeling she got a few dysfunctional nuances about her. Most likely some anger management issues stoked by a little low self-esteem.

My heart goes out to her every now and then, when I see her socially wobbling. My own self-esteem has been a struggle for more of my life than I’d like to admit. So sometimes I want to give her a shoulder to lean on until she can find her balance. Watching people wrestle with and within themselves is heartbreaking.

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Audio (MP3): 20180712 - Treading water (or unfasten your seatbelts)

Video (MP4): 20180712 - Treading water (or unfasten your seatbelts)

Wherein fate has limits, part 2 of 3.

Toward the end of my drinking it was like treading water. Never going anywhere, not having any fun, just struggling to do the bare minimum to stay afloat. A soggy, pathetic, emotional mess.

I was well past my reckless youth, going out and getting into trouble, wrecking cars, being thrown in jail. Well past the padded room I chased an orderly out of with a safety pin. It was just me, the liquor, and myself. Paddling in a sea of cold air in a dark, damp basement.

I’m going to mix and match reality and imagination. Analogies and metaphors. Because that’s what you do when you’re me.

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Audio (MP3): 20180708 - You cannot unbutton this jacket

Video (MP4): 20180708 - You cannot unbutton this jacket

Wherein fate is a miserable state, part 1 of 3.

Rivers want to roll downhill. You can put a dam up and stop their flow but their destination won’t change. They all dump into the sea. And eventually your dam will give out and then you or somebody else will build another dam but yet, still the river flows downhill. With all man’s technological marvel, water is what it is.

That’s abstract and non-personal but also a good pre-game show.

Because then there was that one time we were leaving a neighborhood Christmas party. As I’m walking down the sidewalk with family in tow, I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I saw it coming like a slow motion horror flick. Time slowed to a near stand still and the whole audience screamed, “don’t go down there!!” But then I kept going toward certain doom anyway and gravity did its thing.

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