Peeps, here’s your and-if-we-threw-it-all-away-things-can-only-get-better Tuesday jam.
Howard Jones was fun in the 80s. He wasn’t brooding or melodramatic. Kinda like POTUSA in the 90s.
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tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 12:05 pm
Peeps, here’s your and-if-we-threw-it-all-away-things-can-only-get-better Tuesday jam.
Howard Jones was fun in the 80s. He wasn’t brooding or melodramatic. Kinda like POTUSA in the 90s.
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:04 am
This recount will probably not win me a single friend. However, I shall proceed anyway, in the most delicate way possible. This memory needs purged guys, I cannot carry its burden alone. Also, don’t make this about you because it’s not.
So the scene is a local convenience store, early morning. Dawn’s third light if you will. Normally I don’t like participating in society before the sun has reached its midday peak but that’s what I gotta do sometimes.
A girl cashier, looked to be in her early 20s, is manning the checkout aisle. Hippie critter with long blonde dreadlocks down her back. No problem, I can deal with this. Of course I have nothing against tie-dye, but I just don’t like it for myself.
Now then, this free spirit was chipper and scanned my purchases in a timely and conversational manner. Good, good, good.
And then unexpectedly, without announcement or provocation… you know that cube of space where stores keep their plastic bags to fill with your items? The cashier lifted her right leg and rested her foot in that spot. A cowboy stance if you will.
I absentmindedly looked down at this weird instance of leisure between employee and customer. Mostly I try to keep my eyes to myself but this leg maneuver was out of the ordinary. Definitely not par for the course.
She was wearing a white tennis shoe and black yoga pants, fitted just below the knee. And then. I realized. She had chosen not to shave that very lifted leg.
Oh.
Guys, now hold up. I don’t have anything against women’s lib or militant feminism. Or even peaceful feminism. I resist social norms and quietly protest beauty standards in both men and women alike.
But I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that leg lift. Obviously, the picture is a photographic recreation and not the actual checkout aisle. Nor is the cowboy boot to scale. It’s simply a rendered reconstruction for the readers.
Anyway, was she looking for feedback perhaps? Possibly a nonchalant complement? Is that just how kids do these days?
Maybe she was simply okay enough with her womanhood that leg, shaved or unshaved, conventional or subculture, wasn’t an issue. A confidence strong enough that one simply forgets what body service has been done and not done.
Again, I must insist that I’m not anti-razor. This whole encounter was simply more than unusual. I felt like I’d just opened an x-file.
So then I did what I do best in most social situations. I refused to make eye contact and quietly recited the first few lines of the 1979 masterpiece, Cars by Gary Numan:
Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can lock all my doors. It’s the only way to live.
And then grabbed my receipt and supplies, double-timed to the sliding double-doors, and vowed never again to look down. In any public place. Under any circumstances.
…
So where exactly, precisely did this unrestricted showing of minimal furry take place? I will leave that piece untold. Perhaps you, too, will spot this elusive creature during your own travels.
And long live the minimoog. “It will keep me stable for days.”
mBastian
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:26 am
Hairier legs are heavier and need to rest more often than shaved legs.
undrtow
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:27 am
Could it be possible that she just wanted to be comfortable and having her leg up made her feel better? Naaaah…she was assaulting your eyes with her “militant feminist” hairy legs. 😜
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:38 am
I never used the word “assault” but I do think cowboy stance is generally more comfortable. I’m going to try it the next time I’m in the aisle myself.
undrtow
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:56 am
It does feel better, especially if you have a bad back. Or hairy legs.
Janice KJ
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:28 am
I know. I win. I witnessed the same thing! Did she say “Right on!” A time or two? However, I didn’t notice the leg hair!!
East Main Street!!
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:40 am
There may have been a “right on” said. But now this has me all self-conscious because I say that sometimes, too.
liz
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:48 am
Well, they are hiring…
nickel-brandy
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:58 am
This long post over a hairy leg 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I was waiting for something .
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:22 am
What?? I gave you a mildly epic tale complete with infographic. I’ll admit that most of my documented social encounters end with me leaving without incident. I’m not Lois Lane over here.
nickel-brandy
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:24 am
lmbo girl …. I’m joking … but i was looking for something she was hiding under the counter lmbo
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:27 am
I don’t know what “Imbo” means. I Am Bad Oyster?
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:28 am
I knew you were joking btw. :)
nickel-brandy
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:31 am
Laughing my butt off
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 12:07 pm
Ahhhh
Roger Roger
· Nov 6, 2018 at 10:15 am
Did the cashier explicitly identify itself as a particular gender?
Hahhhha! I know her! She’s one of my nieces friends & yes… she’s a legend in her own time.
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:15 am
Oh. I didn’t think somebody would actually know here. :)
keamoose
· Nov 6, 2018 at 2:42 pm
My guess is she was just tired from standing (putting the foot up would stretch the lower back) and your/anybody’s opinion was irrelevant to her, no ulterior motive at all. 🤔
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 3:34 pm
Yep, irrelevance.
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 8:35 pm
She couldn’t have been there more than hour. Does one need a stretch so soon?
keamoose
· Nov 6, 2018 at 8:48 pm
It’s plausible.
sveagrabarek
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:01 pm
It’s an opportunity for gratitude…she wasn’t wearing a skirt. She wasn’t a dude in short shorts. She had not eaten tacos a few hours prior. Haaaaaaa
tcr!
· Nov 5, 2018 at 6:54 pm
Matt: Do you believe people can change?
Nun: I’m still holding out hope.
—Daredevil S3E4
tcr!
· Nov 5, 2018 at 9:36 am
Work at home Mondays mean X-Files marathon, starting with S1 E1:
Agent Dana Scully is instructed to debunk at FBI project dubbed “The X-Files,” cases linked to the paranormal that have been reopened by Agent Fox Mulder.
PS- I’m actually working. I just like hear to paranormal chatter in the background.
jenkins_arts
· Nov 5, 2018 at 9:37 pm
Is listening to the paranormal normal or is it paranormal or just slightly normal? Asking for a friend.
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 7:52 am
It’s the tried and true abby normal.
jenkins_arts
· Nov 6, 2018 at 3:57 pm
Oh, now I understand!
tcr!
· Nov 4, 2018 at 12:49 pm
Can’t we have nutted, organic peanut butter without the workout and without the mess??
vaughn3
· Nov 4, 2018 at 1:05 pm
Heh heh…nutted
tcr!
· Nov 4, 2018 at 1:16 pm
JJania
· Nov 4, 2018 at 1:15 pm
Agree
sara
· Nov 4, 2018 at 1:34 pm
I’m proud of you.
Kelly K
· Nov 4, 2018 at 2:29 pm
It is ridiculous! I think you end up losing half the peanut butter because it slops all over the spoon, the jar, your hands…
I’m sure it’s not “good/natural enough”, but I get JIF Natural. Not messy at all!
Momma J
· Nov 4, 2018 at 3:55 pm
How about Skippy?
tism
· Nov 4, 2018 at 5:02 pm
Cuz fat floats and homogenizing chemicals are, well…not natural.
“How did you get such huge biceps t?”
“I stir the PB. That’s how!”
keamoose
· Nov 4, 2018 at 6:11 pm
They make a thing for that.
https://www.amazon.com/Grandpa-Witmers-Fashioned-Mess-Free-16-Ounce/dp/B000A3I3BA
keamoose
· Nov 4, 2018 at 6:16 pm
Wait, are we in an infomercial? Voiceover: “Until now, this was the only way to stir nut butters.” T, covered in peanuts, the jar sliding from his hands: “There must be a better way!”
tcr!
· Nov 5, 2018 at 7:37 am
I actually had one of those many years ago. I think it was hurled into the darkness as well.
thewattsolak
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:43 am
Next time store it in the cupboard upside down for a few days before you open it 👍
Kelly K
· Nov 6, 2018 at 9:54 am
That’s my mom’s remedy too.
tcr!
· Nov 6, 2018 at 11:35 am
Using gravity against the peanut’s butter! Evily brilliant!
tcr!
· Nov 4, 2018 at 11:28 am
Cat: Meow, meow, meow.
Me: Would you shut up? You get NOTHING.
Me checks cat food bowl.
Me: Oh, you can have some food.
Momma J
· Nov 4, 2018 at 3:53 pm
The poor kitty was hungry and wanted a bite of food!
prokop
· Nov 4, 2018 at 7:19 pm
I always tell my cat to shut up too, but in the nicest possible voice.
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