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A cowboy stance if you will

tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:04 am

This recount will probably not win me a single friend. However, I shall proceed anyway, in the most delicate way possible. This memory needs purged guys, I cannot carry its burden alone. Also, don’t make this about you because it’s not.

So the scene is a local convenience store, early morning. Dawn’s third light if you will. Normally I don’t like participating in society before the sun has reached its midday peak but that’s what I gotta do sometimes.

A girl cashier, looked to be in her early 20s, is manning the checkout aisle. Hippie critter with long blonde dreadlocks down her back. No problem, I can deal with this. Of course I have nothing against tie-dye, but I just don’t like it for myself.

Now then, this free spirit was chipper and scanned my purchases in a timely and conversational manner. Good, good, good.

And then unexpectedly, without announcement or provocation… you know that cube of space where stores keep their plastic bags to fill with your items? The cashier lifted her right leg and rested her foot in that spot. A cowboy stance if you will.

Plastic bag storage with cowboy boot

I absentmindedly looked down at this weird instance of leisure between employee and customer. Mostly I try to keep my eyes to myself but this leg maneuver was out of the ordinary. Definitely not par for the course.

She was wearing a white tennis shoe and black yoga pants, fitted just below the knee. And then. I realized. She had chosen not to shave that very lifted leg.

Oh.

Guys, now hold up. I don’t have anything against women’s lib or militant feminism. Or even peaceful feminism. I resist social norms and quietly protest beauty standards in both men and women alike.

But I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that leg lift. Obviously, the picture is a photographic recreation and not the actual checkout aisle. Nor is the cowboy boot to scale. It’s simply a rendered reconstruction for the readers.

Anyway, was she looking for feedback perhaps? Possibly a nonchalant complement? Is that just how kids do these days?

Maybe she was simply okay enough with her womanhood that leg, shaved or unshaved, conventional or subculture, wasn’t an issue. A confidence strong enough that one simply forgets what body service has been done and not done.

Again, I must insist that I’m not anti-razor. This whole encounter was simply more than unusual. I felt like I’d just opened an x-file.

So then I did what I do best in most social situations. I refused to make eye contact and quietly recited the first few lines of the 1979 masterpiece, Cars by Gary Numan:

Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can lock all my doors. It’s the only way to live.

And then grabbed my receipt and supplies, double-timed to the sliding double-doors, and vowed never again to look down. In any public place. Under any circumstances.

So where exactly, precisely did this unrestricted showing of minimal furry take place? I will leave that piece untold. Perhaps you, too, will spot this elusive creature during your own travels.

And long live the minimoog. “It will keep me stable for days.”

#socialproblems #musicvideos #garynuman

mBastian · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:26 am

Hairier legs are heavier and need to rest more often than shaved legs.

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undrtow · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:27 am

Could it be possible that she just wanted to be comfortable and having her leg up made her feel better? Naaaah…she was assaulting your eyes with her “militant feminist” hairy legs. 😜

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:38 am

I never used the word “assault” but I do think cowboy stance is generally more comfortable. I’m going to try it the next time I’m in the aisle myself.

undrtow · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:56 am

It does feel better, especially if you have a bad back. Or hairy legs.

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Janice KJ · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:28 am

I know. I win. I witnessed the same thing! Did she say “Right on!” A time or two? However, I didn’t notice the leg hair!!
East Main Street!!

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:40 am

There may have been a “right on” said. But now this has me all self-conscious because I say that sometimes, too.

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liz · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:48 am

Well, they are hiring…

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nickel-brandy · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:58 am

This long post over a hairy leg 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I was waiting for something .

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:22 am

What?? I gave you a mildly epic tale complete with infographic. I’ll admit that most of my documented social encounters end with me leaving without incident. I’m not Lois Lane over here.

nickel-brandy · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:24 am

lmbo girl …. I’m joking … but i was looking for something she was hiding under the counter lmbo

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:27 am

I don’t know what “Imbo” means. I Am Bad Oyster?

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:28 am

I knew you were joking btw. :)

nickel-brandy · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:31 am

Laughing my butt off

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 12:07 pm

Ahhhh

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Roger Roger · Nov 6, 2018 at 10:15 am

Did the cashier explicitly identify itself as a particular gender?

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JJ · Nov 6, 2018 at 10:41 am

Hahhhha! I know her! She’s one of my nieces friends & yes… she’s a legend in her own time.

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 11:15 am

Oh. I didn’t think somebody would actually know here. :)

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keamoose keamoose · Nov 6, 2018 at 2:42 pm

My guess is she was just tired from standing (putting the foot up would stretch the lower back) and your/anybody’s opinion was irrelevant to her, no ulterior motive at all. 🤔

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 3:34 pm

Yep, irrelevance.

tcr! tcr! · Nov 6, 2018 at 8:35 pm

She couldn’t have been there more than hour. Does one need a stretch so soon?

keamoose keamoose · Nov 6, 2018 at 8:48 pm

It’s plausible.

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sveagrabarek · Nov 6, 2018 at 9:01 pm

It’s an opportunity for gratitude…she wasn’t wearing a skirt. She wasn’t a dude in short shorts. She had not eaten tacos a few hours prior. Haaaaaaa

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