#photos #selfies

I speak a little anesthesiologist.

People say the weirdest things in my dreams.

#meanwhile #dreams

I just spent the last six hours of my workday actually working. I don’t know how or why this happened.

Note to self: don’t let this happen again.

#worknews

Best thing I’ve read all week:

I use the F word all the time. I am known for dropping the F word into most conversations at almost any time. Some people are shocked. Even people who use the F word themselves.

Get comfortable with the F word. Using the F word at the right time and in the right place can work wonders for your relationships with people and the success of your business.

Funny thing is that the author never actually used the F word. 😊

#grammar #wordsmith

I asked Maggie what they were gonna do today with it being her last day of 7th grade and all.

She said they would sign yearbooks, maybe watch a couple of movies or something.

I would totally be down for that today, being a Friday and all.

#maggie

I swear one of these nights these two are gonna come alive. And then I’m gonna have to take them down.

#photos #jedininjas

The closest one looks like it’s smiling at me. Like the duck in A Christmas Story.

Okay, not like the duck in A Christmas Story.

#photos #schoolnews

Throwback Thursday to five years ago this May when I painted an anarchy sign in my garage.

Because I still protest. In general.

#photos #homeimprovement

May sunsets are the best, peeps.

#photos #sunsets

I’m having another party. You’re obviously invited. I know that it’s only nine days away but whatever, that’s how I do. If you can’t come, don’t worry there’ll be another. If you can come, that’s awesome!

Feel free to bring a guest or two or three. And your kids. Or not. If you don’t know me or my friends, come anyway. You’ll have fun.

I’ll probably make vegetarian chili and maybe will have a cake. I’ll have snacks and drinks, too. You can bring whatever you want. If you don’t know my house rules for alcohol, they go like this: you can bring a bottle of wine but no boxed wine. You can bring a bottle of your favorite stout but no six-packs. You get the idea.

I would rather skip the presents. I order enough shit from Amazon. Yes, I have a mini pirate telescope, a banana slicer, an otamatone, and so on.

I won’t make puppets this time because people around here aren’t into them I guess. I may force you to watch 1984’s Sixteen Candles since it’s a birthday movie.

#xlvi