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Each and every fallen crumb

tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 12:32 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180910 - Each and every fallen crumb

As I was sitting again at a stoplight on Randall Road this morning meagerly minding my own matters, I casually looked to my left and noticed a dude in a car beside me having his breakfast. It was an Egg McBiscuit from McDonald’s. Or whatever they call them.

In another era I, too, ate mobile breakfast sandwiches behind the wheel before work so I knew of his quest.

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35 comments

curtains · Sep 10, 2018 at 1:07 pm

People watching is true entertainment! Thanks!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 1:49 pm

You are most welcome!

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Mark · Sep 10, 2018 at 1:07 pm

thats 3 minutes of my life i’ll never get back

Cmon Eileen · Sep 10, 2018 at 11:37 pm

Were you waiting for the biscuit eater to toss his trash out the window and speed away? I was.

Mark · Sep 11, 2018 at 3:07 am

and then go to a mattress store where the power was out and run into a skunk

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Kelly K · Sep 10, 2018 at 1:32 pm

Great imagery!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 1:50 pm

I do what I can while waiting in traffic.

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tamaraholby · Sep 10, 2018 at 2:40 pm

Great read!

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Dorencz · Sep 10, 2018 at 3:18 pm

Your story is way better than the guy I saw picking his nose yesterday. 😂

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:20 pm

The next time he does that just honk your horn. Ain’t nobody need to see that.

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Ritch Ason · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:12 pm

This makes me want to write about what I did one time…I was eating a sandwich, putting on mascara, and driving with one hand. I was young. And I was speeding down route 64…I got pulled over. And my license was expired by one week. Into the clink. My one and only time lol.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:13 pm

What kind of sandwich?

Ritch Ason · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:31 pm

I believe it was some sort of ham and salami I worked in the deli at the Walts grocery store in Wheaton and they sent me for a deliver to Saint Charles. All the butchers were really good looking (my future husband was there) so I was getting dolled up. LOL….

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 10:48 pm

I knew there was a boy in your story somewhere 😊

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Ritch Ason · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:13 pm

Uh oh I better delete that lol

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Angie Bee · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:20 pm

Gifted writer, you are

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 10:50 pm

You I give thanks 🙏

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nis · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:31 pm

I LOVE this!

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jentel · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:53 pm

We need to get you some books on tape or an Audible subscription for your travels. 🤔

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2018 at 9:25 am

I have a hard time with Audible. People going on and on about how they were listening to podcasts with it but then I go and look how to get my podcast listed with them. Did I find anything helpful? No, of course not. I can’t have nice things.

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Anna KL · Sep 10, 2018 at 4:53 pm

This is cool 😂👍

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 10:50 pm

Thank you! 😎

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tamaraholby · Sep 10, 2018 at 5:04 pm

I once saw a man playing a guitar in his car on 88

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 10:50 pm

I hope he was in the backseat 🤭

tamaraholby · Sep 11, 2018 at 8:39 am

no front seat , driving

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jfender · Sep 10, 2018 at 5:20 pm

Dr Pepper for me!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 10, 2018 at 10:49 pm

Dr. Pepper is the only thing I’ll drink at Doughocracy in Geneva.

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sinceresarcasm · Sep 11, 2018 at 12:53 am

How are you at public speaking??

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2018 at 7:23 am

I do fairly well once I get going. It’s that whole anticipation thing though. Driving to the speaking engagement and all I can think is… what if when they call my name and I’m walking to the head of the class, my left shoe is haphazardly tied and I do the typical impromptu trip/fall but this time I’m not able to roll it into a saving grace, come out on top like champ somersault.

sinceresarcasm · Sep 11, 2018 at 2:13 pm

Have you ever heard of The Moth?

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2018 at 2:47 pm

Yep! My girlfriend and I were at their Technology storyslam in Evanston this past June. It’s also one of my favorite podcasts.

sinceresarcasm · Sep 11, 2018 at 9:40 pm

Yessssss!!!! I so want to enter and make my way to the GrandSlam! You would be great on stage!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 11, 2018 at 10:19 pm

Do it!!!!

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vk swartz · Sep 11, 2018 at 7:08 am

Enjoyed your story!

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Redmond · Sep 12, 2018 at 11:20 am

You had me at ‘crispness’

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He might be from Singapore

tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:38 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180905 - He might be from Singapore

Guys, don’t go south on Randall Road anywhere near Route 64 in St. Charles. It’s been raining, there’s bumper-to-bumper traffic, and your life will be put on hold.

There’s also a weird cat sitting on the east sidewalk looking at me. I think he might be from Singapore. Or Elburn.

Worst still, the 7-Eleven hung up a handmade “NO LOITERING” sign. It’s in bubble letters, too. I hate bubble lettering. 😢

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27 comments

undrtow · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:45 pm

I heard there’s a coyote party there but not until later tonight.

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fleming · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:46 pm

Or Elburn???? Oh my God…I’m still laughing!!!!🤣🤣🤣

sveagrabarek · Sep 5, 2018 at 6:36 pm

Probably elburn. The cats there are very shady.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:25 pm

So the rumors are true.

liz.sadigh · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:27 pm

I can confirm.

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tamaraholby · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:47 pm

Is the kitty ok?

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:29 pm

It was a white cat with black patches and the patches look like dents in his hide from a rough, battle scarred life. I assume he ate all the Bigfoots in his 20s, after he got out of the Cat Marines or wherever they serve.

I guess him to be in his 60s now but I still wouldn’t tangle with him. There was an open can of Hormel Chili beside him and since I didn’t see a can opener around, he must’ve opened it with his teeth. Maybe his claws, too. For leverage.

tamaraholby · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:47 pm

I was born and raised in the birthplace of Hormel. That chili and a can of spam will last forever. Oh and a twinkie

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hodges · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:48 pm

The 7/11 on Randall and 64? Who loiterers at a intersection with no foot traffic? You are right. Stay. Away.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:10 pm

Oh. I’m sorry. In my haste I forgot to mention the 7-Eleven with the sign is on 64 and 17th, a few blocks east. But the one on 64 and Randall probably has a similar policy. Loiter at your own risk!

hodges · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:12 pm

lol!

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hodges · Sep 5, 2018 at 4:51 pm

Party tonight at 8. Picnic tables. 7-11. Geneva!

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:33 pm

Maybe we can get them to make a real sign!

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McGivney · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:03 pm

Gotta love traffic 😖

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:37 pm

Traffic makes me sadder and also angrier than anything else. Well, I can get pretty angry at the Target/Starbucks people who don’t know how to grind beans for a French Press. I get home and open the bag expecting to see coarsely ground beans and instead see a floury brown powder.

THIS IS NOT A GAME.

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tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:37 pm

So what’s really funny is that I was banned a while back from the “What’s Happening in Geneva” Facebook group for posting similar anecdotes. I was also banned from WH in St. Charles, WH in Batavia, etc. etc.

I’m glad I have a blog because you all deserve to know the real stories.

hodges · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:39 pm

My badge of honor. Banned from Trump Facebook. Oh well. Left what’s happening in st Charles on the basis of meanness and belittling.

hodges · Sep 5, 2018 at 5:56 pm

And. You are funny.

tamaraholby · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm

You know it’s better to talked about then never noticed

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Mona · Sep 5, 2018 at 6:43 pm

You were banned because your magazine was perceived by Kevin Ketchum to be competition for his local magazines. That’s my guess anyway.

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:27 pm

Yeah, I wanted to leave my magazine out of the story and keep the focus on my personal wit and charm.

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hbp · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:02 pm

This is fantastic… I’m still giggling

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 8:44 pm

Thank you!

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The Golberg · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm

Best. Post. And Stream. Of. The. Day! 😂😂😂

tcr! tcr! · Sep 5, 2018 at 8:45 pm

Thank you so much!

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Damien F · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:41 pm

They also don’t like to pay out on scratch offs over 20$

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DW Caputo · Sep 5, 2018 at 7:42 pm

That store sucks. Refused to give me lottery tickets because my daughter was with me. Really. WTF. SHE WASNT 21.

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The light is green for both sides

tcr! · Apr 30, 2018 at 8:55 am

Audio (MP3): 20180430 - The light is green for both sides

This scene is my truck. I’m barreling north on Randall Road and need to turn left at the next intersection. There’s a handful of cars that are also barreling south toward the intersection. Because everybody’s got to get to work.

The light is green for both sides. Timing will be close but the southbound traffic has the downhill advantage. I add a little acceleration to the equation. A little horsepower to even the odds.

The light turns yellow so I slow down and then stop at the red light.

I’m always grateful when the cosmos saves me from myself. 😊

#cosmos #trafficnews #randallroad #diariespodcast

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Brushing my teeth while driving

tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 3:18 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180416 - Brushing my teeth while driving

Tooth brush and steering wheel

I think what annoys me most about driving on Randall Road is that the speed limit is 45 mph but with the sheer amount of daytime traffic and number of stoplights by the Commons, I never get to actually go 45.

See, if I can just get around these other cars I can enjoy the Road Warrior speeds as posted by the Illinois Department of Transportation. Or whoever makes up the speed limits. But no, I’m stuck not even going half that.

Like when I’m waiting behind the lady in Walgreens on State Street who’s fighting with the cashier about which M&M varieties are buy-one, get-one free.

No wait, it’s more like when I turned into the pasta aisle at Super Target on the east side of St. Charles to grab a jar of Newman’s Own Marinara but then there’s this dude and his cart blocking ALL THE SAUCES as he tries to pick out which Bertolli to buy. Just get the Tomato & Basil and let people move on with their lives.

I can see my favorite red sauce. There on the other side of his cart. It’s almost within my grasp but I just can’t quite get to it. But it’s right there. Just a few feet away.

But no, I don’t get to have my non-chunky pasta sauce nor do I get to drive the maximum speed limit on this north-south county highway. Because I can’t have nice things.

And yes, lady driving next to me: I am brushing my teeth while driving. I’m on my way to the dentist.

#photos #nicethings #trafficnews #randallroad #diariespodcast

4 comments

myrna · Apr 16, 2018 at 7:39 pm

You’re a good brusher! 😉

tcr! tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 7:57 pm

I do my best 😊

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klaurindabrey · Apr 16, 2018 at 8:09 pm

I do it all the time bro!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 16, 2018 at 9:14 pm

Haha! Ok good. 😊

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Thanks for a great SUM

tcr! · Feb 6, 2018 at 5:21 pm

My favorite thing to do Tuesday around 5 o’clock is drive down Randall Road.

🙄 🔫

In other news I generally get to this point in life and then give up not long after. It’s like there’s some invisible hump that I just can’t get over. One time I did go a little bit farther but then I still gave up. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to keep fighting the good fight.

The cosmo says to expect miracles. OK, I’m patiently waiting.

Kinda.

Hello?

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

And finally… while driving to pick Maggie up I saw this on a farm marquee:

THANKS FOR A GREAT SUM
SEE YOU IN THE SPRING

That made me feel good. I do have a pretty great SUM.

#allislost #randallroad

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No sirens, no lights, just horsepower

tcr! · Jan 12, 2018 at 9:54 am

Audio (MP3): 20180112 - No sirens, no lights, just horsepower

Outer Rim FRMBOY license plate

When I was driving to work this morning a sheriff’s car was behind me in the other lane. As we approached the intersection on Randall and 64 the stoplight turned yellow. I slowed down and stopped because I’m sure the sheriff had his eye on me. And of course my license plates are expired.

So then the sheriff gunned his car and blew through the red light. No sirens, no lights, just horsepower. Whether or not he was within his law enforcement privileges to do such isn’t important to what I’m writing here.

What is relevant is that at one time in my life I would’ve thought to myself, “Eff’ing cops.”

But I don’t think that way anymore. There are only policemen. Some are good, some are bad. Just because one guy does something doesn’t mean that I should throw out the whole lot.

Just the same, I don’t think of the “damn Mexicans” anymore. Nor do I think of the “stupid white boys” or the “blood sucking lawyers” or the “strung out crackheads” or the “christian zealots” or even the “soccer moms.”

Taking time to know people from those groups, talking with them, learning about their lives and struggles, wins and loses — all of that — has only made my life better. It’s made me a bigger person, bigger than the small town cracker I was growing up in Iowa.[1]

Okay fine, we can categorize people. There may be some truths in stereotypes. But there’s a difference between that and judging people, condemning a whole race or social group.

I don’t know about you guys but I don’t like being lumped into a group because of what somebody else did or didn’t do. I want to be judged based on who I am and what I do.

At the end of the day we’re all just humans. You’ll find good and bad in any group. I want to look for the good. I’ll never go wrong with seeing people as individuals and making new friends.

#randallroad #advancedsoul #diariespodcast


  1. See what I did there? I called myself a cracker…but not everybody in every rural town in Iowa.

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Mar 19th, 2015 at 1:48:10 pm

tcr! · Mar 19, 2015 at 1:48 pm

I swear I just saw Matrix era Keanu Reeves driving a school bus on Randall Road.

And then I was like…

keanu reeves woah

#randallroad #keanureeves

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