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There’s a gentleman we’ll call Gary

tcr! · Oct 17, 2017 at 2:04 pm

Phone on the commode

So we all know that our phones are a huge part of our lives. We take them pretty much every where. They say that they’re generally the first thing we look at in the morning and the last thing we look at before going to sleep.

However, I’ve came across a situation where another’s phone usage has me bepuzzled and I wanted to get the worldly consensus. Yes, I realize that virtually all people will be looking at this post on their phones, and yes, that may skew the results but I acknowledge this and will persist.

There’s a gentleman we’ll call Gary. I doubt if the gentleman is actually named Gary but he very well could be. If so, it’s purely coincidental. Also, this man is not your friend or relative named Gary. No, I don’t know your uncle Gary or your boss Gary. Finally, I don’t have any friends that go by Gary. Which is why I chose this name. Well, I actually chose it because after Bruce Wayne retired along came a Batman named Gary[1] of all things. I was rather disappointed that the writers chose “Gary” because it does not compare to the power that comes from saying an almighty name such as “Bruce.” Also, if your name is Gary I’m sorry but you cannot be Batman.

Anyways, back to the man I have aliased Gary. I’ll get right to it…

Gary was watching a movie trailer in the public restroom at work a few moments ago. He was hidden within the stall but his phone did indeed bellow with the cellos and sing with the strings and pound with the pianos, and all in such a way that I knew whatever action-packed movie Gary was previewing was gonna be good. I felt a smidge frantic because I hadn’t anything but the movie music to go on. How in the world would I find this movie in Fandango later? Shazam was obviously out of the question.

But once the audible excitement of whatever film Gary was trailering had worn off, I felt disheartened, disenfranchised, disengaged, dis and more dis. Almost like I’d shared a moment with Gary that, not only I shouldn’t have, but also that I didn’t really want to. Sure, I get sucked into movie magic as much as the next Doug…but once I was washing my hands firmly back in reality, I knew beyond a doubt that I don’t want to have any kind of moments with Gary in a public restroom. Ever again.

With public restrooms I think people should get in and get out. And more importantly: let strangers get in and out as well. If you’re going to watch the YouTubes or whatever at least keep your phone on silent so you don’t suck others in. Better still, don’t make any sounds at all. Don’t grunt, gasp, or sigh. If possible, hold your breathe. Remain mysterious. Elusive. Don’t give the other guests any clues as to who you are or what you’re doing. You could very well be Bruce Wayne or Selina Kyle. Use your anonymity to your advantage!

Okay, so I’m not like everybody. I don’t like making noises or chit-chatting with strangers while visiting the communal washrooms. If you do, that’s fine. I won’t judge. To each their own. You got the right to do your business.

So my question…

Since Gary was watching and listening to his phone in the restroom, publicly filling the airwaves with theatrical music for all, would it have been appropriate for me to say, “Sounds pretty good, what movie is that?”

#socialproblems #movienews #publicrestroom #diariespodcast


  1. Editor’s note: there wasn’t a Batman named Gary. Terry was his name. I’ve gone too far to change it now.

11 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Oct 17, 2017 at 7:34 pm

Yes.

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keamoose keamoose · Oct 18, 2017 at 2:56 pm

This is all great, but my favourite part is that after you’ve said Gary 1000 times it turns out Batman’s name was actually Terry.

I say you could have asked, BUT there’s a good chance it would have led him to engage you in conversation, which you probably wouldn’t enjoy.

tcr! tcr! · Oct 18, 2017 at 3:09 pm

I know! I spent like an hour yesterday searching for a Batman named “Gary” on Wikipedia.

Subconsciously I was probably thinking that he looked like a Gary though. Manly type that does what he wants. When he wants. Most likely a car salesman.

“You’re going to buy this car or else I’ll throw you in the trunk and then you’ll realize how dumb you are, laying in a trunk, with no car, like a moron.”

In related news… I was practicing reading my podcast last night at the dinner table while Maggie was doing her homework. Every time I said “Gary” her eyes would roll. There came a point when all parties agreed I should read quietly to myself.

keamoose keamoose · Oct 18, 2017 at 3:24 pm

Funny, the only Gary I know is a tall, thin, 60-ish civil engineer with a ponytail who bikes to work and runs marathons. I also had a high school physics teacher with a small mustache and elbow patches named Geary (pronounced Gary). He erased the chalkboard row by row, walking all the way across like a dot matrix printer. So I guess, we have very different images of “Gary-ism”.

I’m concerned about Maggie having eyestrain after all those Gary’s. Did she eventually have to lay down with a cool wet washcloth over her eyes?

keamoose keamoose · Oct 18, 2017 at 3:26 pm

BTW, “searching for a Batman named Gary” would make an excellent tagline for SOMETHING.

tcr! tcr! · Oct 19, 2017 at 7:09 am

“Searching for a Batman named Gary” — I think it’d also make an excellent personal ad on craigslist.org.

keamoose keamoose · Oct 19, 2017 at 10:41 am

Yes, it would, though I don’t know why a millionaire crimefighter would reply to an ad on Craigslist. You’d likely get a lot more replies from guys sitting in their parents’ basements wearing plastic capes than from genuine Batmen. Batmans?

tcr! tcr! · Oct 20, 2017 at 12:17 pm

I kinda like “batmen” as it gives them a sense of camaraderie although “batmans” sounds more inline with the DC universe.

keamoose keamoose · Oct 20, 2017 at 12:33 pm

I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I preferred “batmen” over “batmans”, but I think that’s it.

I’ve also been advised by tism that “batsman” is right out, as it’s a cricket term… the plural of which is “batsmen”. I’m unreasonably annoyed by “batsmen”; it’s like some kind of double plural. Like there should be at least 3 or 4 of them.

tcr! tcr! · Oct 21, 2017 at 9:04 am

There should definitely be more than two batsmen and definitely more than four batsmens.

keamoose keamoose · Oct 21, 2017 at 10:40 am

Batsmens! 🤣

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Blade Runner 2049 ticket

tcr! · Oct 7, 2017 at 3:54 pm

Blade Runner 2049 ticket

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down and you see a tortoise. It’s crawling toward you.

First time I’ve been to a movie by myself since The Phantom Menace. No weirdness so that’s good news.

And the movie was good. I went in thinking it’d be just okay, went in with a beef against Gosling but he fit the character well. I can see why they chose him for the part.

Be aware: the background music and sound effects were the loudest I’d ever heard in a theater. Everybody was going to be paying attention to Blade Runner 2049, no dazing off.

I’ll let you watch the movie without spoiling it. Well, one negative thing I will say is that if a character lights a cigarette then there should be smoke in that scene. Until he puts it out. Ya, this is minor but as an ex-smoker it bugs me.

Now I’ll talk about the original Blade Runner and one of my pet peeves with that.

Okay, so Deckard is a replicant. You can see his eyes light up briefly when he and Rachael go back to his apartment after Leon roughed him up, threw him around, etc-ry. All the replicants have the shiny eyes now and then, that’s the visual giveaway. And I like it. But I don’t like that Leon did in fact kick Deckard’s ass up and down the street just minutes before.

If Deckard was a replicant, what the hell? Ya, he may not have known he was an android and therefore wouldn’t have known about his physical abilities, ie. strength, agility, and so on.

But…survival seems to be pretty key to replicants. The whole movie is about them not wanting to die, them wanting to live. And if Deckard was a replicant, why didn’t that kick in during his fight with Leon? Or Zhora? When one is about to die our instincts take over. Unless you’re a boob.

#movienews #bladerunner #diariespodcast

2 comments

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Oct 10, 2017 at 1:13 am

I thought I wrote this to everyone. Apparently not. The first thing I said is that it reminded me of “The Dark Knight”.

I needed a new paragraph because I saw Dark Knight 3 or 4 days after the Colorado shootings. When the movie starts up, there’s a shoot-out (my memory, not always the most reliable) and it is rock concert loud. Then the movie blew me away.

Back to Blade Runner 2049. I wrote that it was like Dark Knight with the soundtrack and the cinematography. Sometimes with these movies it bugs me that they’re so darkly lit. The measure of light needs to include some light to measure.

I loved Blade Runner 2049 for the first 2 hours. I could’ve done without the last 30 mins or so. I hear that it’s an American thing but rarely does a movie need to last more than 2 hours, especially a thriller/adventure/sci-fi thing. I loved how it was part of the original story.

(Briefly) I LOVED the GIRLS! It was part of the original movie and these girls worked this time too.

tcr! tcr! · Oct 10, 2017 at 1:29 pm

163 minutes is a long time to sit through a movie. Especially a movie like Blade Runner. If you watch some of the trailers you can see scenes with Sapper Morton (the first replicant K meets) that weren’t in the theatrical version. That doesn’t surprise me though. I’ve read the first Blade Runner was over four hours long.

Movies like these should really just be made into two separate parts. It’d flesh the story and characters out more while also giving me a chance to pee.

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Jenkins’ Wonder Woman and Cameron’s Sarah Connor

tcr! · Aug 25, 2017 at 1:33 pm

Patty Jenkins and James Cameron

Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins hits back at James Cameron criticism

But in an interview with The Guardian James Cameron said “the self-congratulatory back-patting” Hollywood has been doing over Wonder Woman was “misguided”.

“She’s an objectified icon, and it’s just male Hollywood doing the same old thing! I’m not saying I didn’t like the movie but, to me, it’s a step backwards.”

The Oscar-winning director compared the character of Wonder Woman to Sarah Connor, the lead role in his Terminator films.

“Sarah Connor was not a beauty icon. She was strong, she was troubled, she was a terrible mother, and she earned the respect of the audience through pure grit.”

Responding on Twitter Patty Jenkins said that there is not only one way to be a strong woman in film.

“If women always have to be hard, tough and troubled to be strong, and we aren’t free to be multidimensional or celebrate an icon of women everywhere because she is attractive and loving, then we haven’t come very far have we.

Normally I can bet behind Cameron but If he wanted to make a point I don’t think he should’ve been comparing his own Sarah Connor to Jenkins’ Wonder Woman. Of course your stuff is never gonna be as good as mine. 🙄

#movienews #wonderwoman

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Blade Runner 2049 — the official title

tcr! · Oct 6, 2016 at 4:15 pm

The Blade Runner sequel is officially titled Blade Runner 2049

The Blade Runner sequel is officially titled Blade Runner 2049

Generally speaking, we’ve been referring to the upcoming sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1982 sci-fi classic with a grab bag of shorthand titles. Stuff like The Untitled Blade Runner Sequel, or The New Blade Runner, or Director Denis Villeneuve’s Upcoming Blade Runner Movie That Has Ryan Gosling In It. Today, that all ends, as the official title has been announced.

October 6th, 2017 is too far away. 😞

#movienews #bladerunner

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