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Coming up short after 12

tcr! · Jan 24, 2018 at 8:00 pm

For a while I had confused the word “practice” with “perfected” in Step 12:

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and had practiced perfected these principles in all our affairs.
Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous

I thought that because I’d worked all the other steps and had arrived at number 12 that I should be over some hump. Maybe even overflowing with love while walking with spiritual principles or whatever.

Like I had crossed some finish line because I had had a spiritual awakening.

It wasn’t something that I consciously thought. I knew the step used the phrase “practiced these principles”, similar to applying them but for whatever reason I was holding myself to a “perfected” standard.

Of course then would feel like I was coming up short.

But… Just because I’ve had that spiritual awakening that doesn’t mean I’ve perfected anything. I have to continue to practice much the way Maggie needs to practice her cello.

Granted with working the others steps and making it to twelve I have been elevated to a new plane of existence but I’m not cured or healed. By any stretch.

Okay that “elevated” part sounds a bit arrogant. But I have changed.

It’s funny how our minds can know something but then deeper down we believe something else.

If something’s bothering me, I should investigate. Even if it seems minor. If anything is making me feel bad about me, something’s wrong, no matter how slight or subdued or subliminal it may feel.

#advancedsoul #twelvesteps

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Jan 26, 2018 at 9:42 am

“You’d be arrogant too if you were me.”—-jimithesaint said that. i was here and heard him say it. If I ever learned anything that I still remember it’s to take everything with a grain-o-salt, “Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” “This Too, Shall Pass.” You’re not as good or bad as your best/worst self says you are. You’re a whole lot more human than human.

T, I love you more than sitting next to T——, the girl with the best boobs in the office.

tcr! tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 7:45 am

“Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” — I love that one.

And thanks! You’re one of my best friends since my first self-imposed divorce.

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