I’ve gotten a lot of feedback, much of it good, from the Proof would kill me duet. If you haven’t read them you should. Pause, go now, and resume reading afterward.
Anyways… A good chunk of people can relate to the tragedy of infidelity because they’ve experienced it themselves. I don’t wanna say it’s common place but it’s certainly not unusual. I’ve had experience with it on both sides. Because I’m an asshole.
The “cheating” part isn’t something that we really like to talk about either. Or even acknowledge. The only reason I talk about it openly now is because it was so long ago. And I’m not married to Kathy any more either.
In follow up to my earlier piece, Proof would kill me, I just want to put it out there that I only talked about two of the things that Kathy did that hurt me. I didn’t mention my sins, all the things I did to hurt her because that wasn’t the point I was after.
My point was: we can be hurt and then move past it, that being in constant pain isn’t normal, isn’t something we should or have to live with.
i have similar words describing the world of pain prior to enlightment: “Trailer Park Soul”, which I have often stylized with all lower case.
When I went to copyright TPS, there were DOZENS of authors with extremely similar words. Lesson is that you can’t copyright stuff fast enough. It was at least 5 years old when I went to get wrights. I have wondered what would have happened if I’d moved faster.
On the topic: I’m a big believer in starter marriages. It’s a damn shame, but I was an axxhole. I’ve totally forgiven and forgotten that one. Too much crap since to be viable.
Re: copyrights— I think I’ve only had one thing copyrighted and that was a music CD back in the 90s. I think why I stopped bothering is because from what I read all work is automatically copyrighted but if one wanted said copyright to stand up in court one should make it official with the gov’mt. That’s just from what I vaguely remember anyways.
Re: starter marriages— yep, Kathy was good practice. I don’t know why I still think about her, it’s not like I do every day but I suppose weekly for sure.
A year or so after I got divorced from my first wife one of our mutual friends said to me, “I’m so sorry that she cheated on you with John.”
Now I always had a gut feeling about that but never knew for sure. Until then.
The moment Heather said it I was just crushed. Even more so because I wasn’t really that close with her, she was just a friend in the restaurant Kathy and I both worked at. Heather had asked me a few minutes before how things were going after the divorce so her words didn’t come out of the blue. But the confirmation was still a stab, twist, gouge to my soul. And then she felt really bad because it was obvious I didn’t know.
Its interesting because I never thought my “childhood stuff” was enough to talk about - bother with. I had never been sexually abused or hit or anything. I’m learning in just this past year - that I never really learned how to feel. It wasn’t allowe…See More
Yep, there was a whole lot of that “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel” stuff going around at one point. Jung put it best with his thoughts on the “shadow” and how denying that, denying what’s inside us (feelings and the like) is the true act evil and not the shadow itself.
A great friend of mine tried to warn me about my first wife but I was blinded by what I thought was true (Love) to listen you live and you learn she cheated on me before we got married and after we got married my bad lol
jimi hindrance experience
Hater McGhray
Such insight!
Thankies! It was hard won insight 😉
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Coops · Sep 18, 2017 at 3:05 pm
I adore you!!!
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DeeDee · Sep 18, 2017 at 3:20 pm
Luv this!
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“She didn’t say a word either. Ouch.”
Me too.
That’s how I always knew I’d really hurt someone: when they didn’t say anything.
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