Audio (MP3): 20180420 - A little dog and wild carrots
Let me first say that I’m an animal lover as much as the next Dr. Doolittle. It’s rare that I meet a dog or cat and they don’t end up liking me sooner or later. I think mostly that’s because I don’t care if they like me or not.
However, the neighbor’s dog and myself, we don’t get along. He barks at me from his yard every time I’m outside in my yard. Or when I’m walking to or from my garage. Bark, bark, bark.
Obviously he’s got the short man complex.
I’ve tried making friends with him. I’ve tried explaining to him that I’ve lived here longer than he has and that gives me seniority. And on my very worst days I’ll blow my megaphone at him when he so much as lets out a whimper.
So anyways, a little while ago I was out tending my yard and little Napoleon was in his house so all was right with the world. The neighborhood people were also out walking their dogs up and down the alley as they do. And every time they did I heard him barking from inside his house.
I was thinking to myself how annoyed I get just even hearing him bark every now and then. Can imagine the horror of actually living with him relentlessly barking all the eff’ing time? I thought so.
I could only giggle quietly to myself.
In other news, does anybody know what kind of plant these are?
Some of the taproots are almost as big as carrots. It looks kinda like a dainty fern and it’s soft as a feather. It’s also decided to take over the world. Well, take over my backyard anyway.
Update: they’re Queen Anne’s Lace. Apparently a couple of summers ago I did, in fact, let them take over the world.
sveagrabarek · Apr 20, 2018 at 8:48 pm
Queen Annes lace. They’re bastards.
Oh yeah!
sveagrabarek · Apr 20, 2018 at 8:59 pm
They’re excellent for anger management.
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Lisette · Apr 20, 2018 at 9:30 pm
They look like mandrake from the Harry Potter movies
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Apparently a couple of summers ago I did, in fact, let the Queen Anne’s Lace aka wild carrots take over the world.
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I don’t have the issue with the Queen Annes Lace, however I do have the issue of the non-stop barking from the neighbor’s dog. It is a small dog that I could quite easily drop kick through the air across the yard and into never never land. ( I would never have such evil thoughts wink wink) Its very frustrating because during the warmer months I spend the majority of my time at home outside working in my backyard. I have done everything from ignoring the animal, attempting to bribe it (I almost got bitten), throwing small sticks to distract it, to messaging the offending neighbor via messenger, Other people in the neighborhood have called the police and reported them. This worked for them because now the dog is no longer allowed in the front yard only the back which is where I hang out. None of these methods work for me and finally one night last week I screamed “SHUT THE FUCK UP” and low and behold the neighbor appeared immediately and brought the offending animal inside. Finally a method that works. I will continue to do this until it doesn’t. Funny thing is she locked the dog in the basement last night where it barked incessantly but at a tolerable level for me. Not so tolerable for her however because I could hear her cussing inside the house. Tee hee motherfucker :) Love you Travy funny how we have similar problems eh :) - AJC
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