Audio (MP3): 20160818 - intentionally unclear so I don't tell on myself too much

When I stop and think about it, I wanna justify and provide backstories because I feel bad. I worry that people will think less of me. But then on the other hand I’m totally up front and honest with everybody all the time.

I think that life is meant to be cherished and explored and lived and this and this and this. I think about my heroes like Hunter S. Thompson who actually lived and loved his life. I don’t wanna be old and thinking I really wish I would’ve done that.

It sounds corny but my soul cries out for adventure and when I sit at my work desk and push papers around I just wanna roll my eyes.

I suppose I could find different avenues for my adventures though. 😉

I’m grateful that I have Maggie because she keeps me grounded. Who knows what melancholy I’d be having for breakfast without her.

I just need to get my head on straight. All this turmoil over the last year or so, I’ve just wanted to escape the emotional horror. This type of activity that I’m vaguely referencing has played a role in my story since I was like 19. It’s pretty much my goto dysfunctional thing other than drinking and drugs.

Boring is good though. I should cherish low key and zero drama when I have it.

I just wish it was as magnetic as the other.

#thestruggleisreal #diariespodcast