Gas pump: Will you be paying with a credit or debit card?
Me pushes “credit card” button and inserts credit card.
Gas pump: Is this a debit or card?
Me: It’s a credit card… 🙄
Me pushes “credit card” button again.
Gas pump: Would you like to use a rewards card?
Me: No, I’ve said CREDIT FUCKING CARD at least fifty times.
Me pushes “no” button.
Gas pump: Would you like to buy a car wash?
Me: What I’d like to do is rip your fucking arm hose off and club you over the head with it. Who do I have to blow to get some fucking gas around here?
Me thumb punches “no” button again.
Gas pump: Please remove the nozzle, select grade…
Me: One more word fucktard and you’ll end up on a Jawa sand crawler with the rest of the robotic rejects.
Me pumps gas while thinking that I do try really, really hard to be a good person, and yet the world continues to push my buttons and bombard me with bullshits. We now live in a place where the machines can be just as obnoxious as people.
Gas pump: Would you like a reciept?
Me: Haha! Not this time my little 8-bit terminal friend. I’ll be answering no more questions from the likes of you. You can sit there in solitude with your query ignored as I drive off into a dual sunset, dreaming of a princess whose hands are never cold.