Guys, what I’m about to tell you is going to change everything from here on out.
Portillo’s is doing delivery! 🎉
This may not apply to all locations but Maggie and I are in the St. Charles location now and there’s literally fliers on every tray and a new panel on every catering table display. I’ve never had their catering myself. Because mostaccioli. Have you seen that stuff? It’s like your weird cousin that comes over at Thanksgiving, dressed in aluminum foil and sliced cheese, smelling like burnt noodles and Lysol. And then he sticks to the serving spoon like some kind of edible Elmer experiment gone horribly wrong.
I heard that over in Europe they take all their leftover mostacolli (which means all their mostacolli) and mix it with cement for their highways. That’s why their roads never fall apart. They got roads dating back to King George II. Which is also around the time somebody first thought of catered mostacolli.
Okay, I made that last paragraph up. I’m sure Portillo’s mostacolli is lovely.
Anyways, the flier also says, “Exclusive offers!” for the delivery patrons. I hope this means year round lemon cake for us techno-heads, living and ordering foodies like it’s 2017. Sara made me go through the drive-thru once just for said cake. And I did it. And now I’m telling you about it. Because their lemon cake is THAT GOOD.
I also see that you can order at portillos.com or through their app. Personally, I’ll order through their website because the last thing I need is yet another app on my phone, wanting to send me notifications, wanting access to my microphone, wanting to take lewd pictures of itself or whatever apps do that have no photo functionality but still want access to my camera.
Wait… I just thought of something. If they deliver how will the drivers resist the french fry smell? NOBODY can resist that smell in the car. It calls to both man and woman, boy and girl. I’d get my order and prob half the fries would be gone. 🍟😢
I’d want a guaranteed fry count for sure.
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