Audio (MP3): 20190512 - The horror of the fitted sheet
These pillows and their corresponding cases and this sheet for fitting have all been resting comfortably on my bed in a laundry cocoon for the better part of the day.
Whenever I walk into the bedroom my heart plummets. And then I walk right back out of the bedroom.
Because I never know which corner to start with the fitted sheet. And it really doesn’t matter anyway. Whichever corner I choose is wrong. Then I spend the next half day twisting round and round what feels like a linen Rubik’s cube. But there are no colored squares to guide you. No YouTube master patterns to follow.
I don’t even bother with the top sheet anymore either. That’d be one more key tumbler for me to fumble with in a lock of woven madness.
All the while both cats are sitting in feline bemusement, or quite possibly in feline judgment. They have no thumbs to help, only fur to shed on a clothesline fresh comforter.
And then the pillow stuffing. I feel like Real Trump must have when he had to stuff all those jumbo, pinto quesadillos into that supersize Taco Bell sack on Cinco de Mayo of 2018.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my pillow forts as much as Abed and Troy but when will this laundress lunacy ever end? And there’s two more pillows off camera. Because five pillows is the minimum requirement for entry.
So I guess this is what’s really been happening in my Geneva house, this Sunday, this Twelfth of May.
How are you guys?
frantz · May 12, 2019 at 6:59 pm
I have learned that bed linen laundry day is nothing short of a full cardio workout…for I am the lover of the duvet… It’s a wonderful concept that is deceiving…a simplistic idea that is nothing short of madness. The stuffing of SIX decorative pillow shams…pure torture.
Decorative pillow shams! The horror!
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asquared01 · May 12, 2019 at 7:24 pm
I feel you on the fitted sheet. I always get it wrong too. 😂
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bsd schwarz · May 12, 2019 at 7:32 pm
I hate making my bed but it is always worth it at the end of the day. Nevertheless……
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bsd schwarz · May 12, 2019 at 7:35 pm
Also-I pulled a crap load of dandelions yesterday. That was what was happening in my neck of the woods.
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bsd schwarz · May 12, 2019 at 7:36 pm
I like the color on your wall.
Thank you! It’s my favorite bedroom color thus far
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A1 Hansen · May 12, 2019 at 8:09 pm
While you have the fitted sheet on the bed correctly, take a vibrant thread and needle. And stitch a little something on the corner or the elastic area. Pick one corner and do it to all the fitted sheets. Maybe pick a corner you will remember? It helps the sheets get done much faster, because I too have the same issue! Same with the USB things! I always pick the wrong end first
Patti66 · May 12, 2019 at 8:27 pm
I’m for quick- I use a permanent marker and put a “T” in the two top corners when the new sheets are on the bed.
Good idea! I get so frustrated!
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Mick MLG · May 12, 2019 at 8:55 pm
This is why I moved …..
You got tired of making ya bed? I feel ya.. 😞
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Borders on C · May 12, 2019 at 10:10 pm
Pretty photo though. =)
Thank you! Arranging pillows for a photoshoot is far more appealing that reverse engineering the Houdini escape straitjacket pillow case riddle.
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Loizzo · May 12, 2019 at 10:44 pm
If it helps, locate the tag on the fitted sheet (assuming there is one). Once you find out which orientation is correct, burn into your memory where the corner with the tag is, then always start with that corner.
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I had never thought of marking the corner(s) of the fitted sheet but it is a brilliant plan!
I’m envisioning a pirate map of sorts with dashes leading to a treasure chest X. Ye map noting where there be sharks, and where there be safe havens, and where there be death.
And of where be ye fastest route to sailing the seas of fitted comfort.
I’ve attached a quick mockup that’s neither my bed nor my map, but you’ll get the idea. I’m a man not a cartographer.
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