My ex-wife, Kathy, was in my thoughts earlier tonight and then as I was running some evening errands, this song came up on my music’s random shuffle.

Kinda weird because this CD was hugely popular at the height of the chaos that was our marriage in 1996. Me — cooking nights in a restaurant, her — assistant managing days at the apartment complex we lived in. We barely saw each other.

Right before the divorce, I hadn’t talked to her in almost a week.

I have a hard time even listening to the Toadies, there’ll forever be an association burned in me between the two. Between her and crunchy Texas guitar. Graph theory anyone?

I said to jimi earlier..

Another pattern I’ve noticed — after the initial high of the relationship wore off, I’ve always went into panic mode, that she (whoever) didn’t love me as they once did, that the relationship was obviously terminal. And then I acted accordingly.

Hell Jim, Kathy only wanted to love me, have a house… And after we moved to Des Moines, I turned antisocial on her.

Um, yeah, there was no more happy face.

On with the show..

The Toadies were one of the few bands that I could’ve and didn’t see live, that I bonded with both the lyrics and the music. Maybe someday I’ll call Texas my home like the Toadies. :)

Happyface by The Toadies

I try to wish you away
I’ll do more than wishin’ someday

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no more wishin’
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happy face!

You and I have nothin’ more to say
We’ll do more than talkin’ someday

No no no more son of a bitch
No no no more talkin’
No no no more son of a bitch
No more happy face!

I sometimes think of the friends of that chapter of my life. There were good times… in the garage at midnight, me strumming acoustic with James and Wendy singing vocals. My black 1984 mustang (with t-tops) parked outside. Her asleep inside because she wouldn’t listen to “that shit.”

She’s on Facebook of course. Damn, she’s old. 😊

#confessional #musicvideos #thetoadies