Maggie: I have to run errands with my parents. Can I call you when I get back?

Friend: I’ll probably be dead by then.

…

“I’ll probably be dead by then” has become one of my go-to replies.

In related news: as we were coming back to the house, the neighbor lady pulled in just as we were…

…

Me: Oh god, she’s gonna yammer on. I’m trying to get thru the day without talking to anyone.

Maggie: Finally someone who shares my sentiment.

#maggie